Here’s your daily Seahawks whatever, and if that sounds half-hearted you can blame a lifetime of bacon dinners.

Plackemeier Suffers a Torn Pectoral: And that about sums it up. Torn Pectorals suck, frankly, even if you’re a punter. More on this as it develops.

Tubbs Takes the Field: Non-believers in medical science might think that figure that looks a good bit like former world beating defensive tackle Marcus-motherfucking-Tubbs is actually 20 wolverines duck-taped into a blue suit, but no, it’s Marcus-motherfucking-Tubbs taking the field in June, participating in individual drills with a smile so big it’s parting the clouds in the vitamin D deficient P. N. W.

That's all this pseudonym has for today. Check back tomato for more bad jokes and profanity.