Well, we can finally put this titillating little saga to rest. Seahawks middle linebacker, Lofa Tatupu, has pled guilty and been sentenced to "one day in jail and ordered to pay fines and court costs of $1,255." You may now resume your life free of this Hyundai wielding menace.
In the by and by, no doubt the sordid details of another sports celebrity's life will surface. But before we sink our teethe into this new schadenfreude marinated tripe, let us pause for a second and consider the deeper questions...like is 24 hours enough time to master the methods of constructing a zip gun? And could this theoretical zip gun be somehow smuggled onto the field of University of Pheonix Stadium?