I'm not going to write some long sobbing soliloquy about the retirement of Brett Favre. Every sportswriter with any connection to football will write a paint-by-numbers piece endlessly reusing any combination of a select few topics (and Peter King will probably write 19 of these articles). Go to Google News, search Brett Favre, and drink for every time one of these dead-horse Farve themes comes up:

• Superbowl XXXI
• Great leader
• Overcame a painkiller addiction
• All-time interception leader
• Jus' a good ole Bayou Boy, havin' fun out derr
• Retirement / unretirement sagas
• One word: Gunslinger
• Deanna
• Any time he is referred to in a quote as "#4"
• "The Ironman Streak"
  
• The magical MNF game after his father passed away
  
• And of course, "Is this actually the end? Will he come back again?"

Anyone still sober? I doubt it. Either way, I've just saved you from having to read an offseason's worth of rehashed filler. You're welcome.