Reevaluating Denver's Crapulence

by Johnny Peel (DKSB) on Sep 21, 2009 2:13 PM PDT in Seahawks Commentary

Slot in which Seattle will use Denver's 2010 1st round pick: 25th-32nd

Players likely available in that slot: OT Charles Brown, (USC), QB Colt McCoy (Texas), FS Myron Lewis, (Vanderbilt)

Well, it's time for a bit of retooling, isn't it? Denver's one of eight unbeaten teams in the NFL, and while I'm not ready to proclaim them a playoff-caliber team, it is probably time to stop hoping for that top 5 pick. Here's why...

I did a little research over at Pro Football Reference, and Denver has started 19 of its 50 seasons 2-0. The best finish after a 2-0 start was the by XXXIII Champion 1998 team, who went 14-2. The worst? The inaugural, vertical-stripe-socked Mustard-and-brown Donkeys, who went 2-9-1 after their 2-0 start (jeebus, I can hardly believe they are going to wear those again this season... They'll need to send out portable eyewash stations to every home in America).

Let's not go back to the era of Mad Men, though... Let's just look at the last 20 years. The WORST Denver finish after a 2-0 start was in 2007, when they limped to a 7-9 record. Now, let's take a quick look at that 2009 Broncos schedule... this should cheer you up, because it's brutal... this is metal on a Dethklok level. I've bolded the ones I think Denver will win.

@ OAK, DAL, NE, @ SD, bye, @ BAL, PIT, @ DC, SD, NYG, @ KC, @ IND, OAK, @PHI, KC

Yes, of course they COULD win more, but I doubt it. This is still a 6-10 team, at best, in my eyes. That's still a top-ten pick, and like Nicholson said in Mars Attacks... That aint bad.

Call me bitter... Call me a homer, but i still think Seattle finishes with a better record than Denver this year. If not, we still have TWO 1st round picks, which we can parlay to move up, or use straight up, or trade for more picks in lower rounds.

As for Denver's game yesterday? It's extremely difficult to evaluate them based on a ass-whomping of one of the NFL's worst teams (That sounds a bit like the Seahawks a week ago, doesn't it?). Cleveland has scored ONE offensive touchdown in its last 33 quarters of play... ONE! I know that confidence goes a long way (that's what those shaving cream ads told me), but at some point Denver's relative lack of talent is going to catch up to them with a vengeance.

I'll be back with more next week (and perhaps in between). The next one's going to be pretty awkward if Denver is 3-0 and Seattle is 1-2, huh?

More Seahawks coverage is available on my home blog... Dave Krieg's Strike Beard.

Poll

What will be Denver's final 2009 regular season record?

12-4 or better

16 votes

11-5 or 10-6

29 votes

7-9, 8-8, 0r 9-7

193 votes

6-10 or 5-11

242 votes

4-12 or worse

69 votes

549 votes | Poll has closed

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Comments

If it weren't for Eric Berry, I'd be fine with a top 15 pick instead of a top 5 pick.

by LantermanC on Sep 21, 2009 2:20 PM PDT reply actions

Taylor Mays

will probably be available at 10-15 pick range and he isn’t half bad

by ClaypidgeonCoug on Sep 21, 2009 3:30 PM PDT up reply actions

Depends on Al Davis.

And if he can actually run a 4.3 40.

by LantermanC on Sep 21, 2009 4:20 PM PDT up reply actions

4.3 40

if he actually ran that at the combine i would be uncontrollably salivating until he is drafted and Al Davis’ fetish is for fast offensive players though i would not put converting Mays to WR Past him.

by ClaypidgeonCoug on Sep 21, 2009 6:31 PM PDT up reply actions

Guys usually run faster on their home turf

Part of it is the use of hand timers and part of it may be faster fields, comfort, etc.

Mike Wahle(OG), Walter Jones(LT), Chris Spencer(C), Marcus Trufant(CB), Deion Branch(WR), Sean Locklear(OT), Brandon Mebane(DT), Leroy Hill(LB), Lofa Tatupu(LB), Josh Wilson(CB), Justin Griffith(FB), Matt Hasselbeck (QB)

by ninjasocks on Sep 21, 2009 6:45 PM PDT up reply actions

Can Berry play QB?

Although yes after yesterdays game a competent Safety would be nice.

by russak on Sep 21, 2009 4:11 PM PDT up reply actions

I don't think historical Denver teams have any influence on this Denver team

Crapulence means overindulgence, usually of rich food, and the resulting sick feeling. Crappiness?

by John Morgan on Sep 21, 2009 2:23 PM PDT reply actions

I agree.

Looking at any team that went 2-0 would do just as well, and be a bigger sample size, though it would involved more work as well.

by LantermanC on Sep 21, 2009 2:28 PM PDT up reply actions

Crapulence

Yeah, but crapulence SOUNDS cooler, and they used it on The Simpsons once.

"I hate to break it to you, but there is no big lie, there is no system, the universe is indifferent." -Don Draper

by Johnny Peel (DKSB) on Sep 21, 2009 2:25 PM PDT reply actions

When Burns is trying to steal a lollipop from Maggie

in the second “Who Shot Mr. Burns”.

by John Morgan on Sep 21, 2009 2:28 PM PDT up reply actions

But stealing candy from a baby

…proved to be exceedingly difficult

"I hate to break it to you, but there is no big lie, there is no system, the universe is indifferent." -Don Draper

by Johnny Peel (DKSB) on Sep 21, 2009 2:36 PM PDT up reply actions

I still like using the word 'cocktaster'.

Best insult ever! Thanks for adding it to my potty-mouth.

Early prospect watch: RB C.J. Spiller, QB Jevan Snead, OT Ciron Black, DT Gerald McCoy, S Eric Berry, DT Ndamukong Suh, CB Ras-I Dowling 6'2, 200, RB Jonathan Dwyer

by Misfit74 on Sep 21, 2009 3:26 PM PDT up reply actions

When I was in Australia,

everyone called each other Fuckwits.

I think it has a nice ring to it.

Mancrushed. Jake Locker for Heisman 2010.

by Tyler Jorgensen on Sep 21, 2009 8:47 PM PDT up reply actions

There's a reason why they do that in Australia

Its an accurate description of Australians.

by ninjasocks on Sep 21, 2009 9:06 PM PDT up reply actions

Craptastic

Much better and more accurate word. Although we’d have to nounify it. Maybe “Craptasticity.”

(My wife won’t let me watch Fox, because they own those chemical weapons plants in Syria.)

by robbbbbb on Sep 21, 2009 3:19 PM PDT up reply actions

Won't let?????

by Hawkmain on Sep 21, 2009 4:14 PM PDT up reply actions

When we played Denver in the preseason

I started to re-evaluate the idea that they’d be gaming for 1st overall. They stole a win and they beat a bad team, if not two bad teams. But they’ll be able to move the ball in spite of their talent. 6 wins or so, still, I think.

by jacobstevens on Sep 21, 2009 2:46 PM PDT reply actions

I had them pegged at 6-10 entering the season

and these were two of the games I was giving them, so I’m more worried about us finishing with a top 10 pick than I’m worried about Denver not finishing with one.

by Mind of no mind on Sep 21, 2009 3:04 PM PDT reply actions