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Seahawks Wearing Green Alternate Uniforms, World Ends *Scruffy Survives Wearing New Jersey **Jersey Crushes Scruffy Under Its Fire-Breathing Smokestacks, Squalor and Corruption

As has been long feared and recently forewarned, our beloved Seahawks are going with a... *urrphgh* ...green alternate jersey tomorrow against the Bears. Mega-tweeter Matthew Hasselbeck confirms the awful truth:

MatthewHass008

http://twitpic.com/j9dcl - @Nate81Burleson & Co. "Going Green" tomorrow #nfl #seahawks #bears (you saw it here first)

32349909-4fa1b65b8ebb63aaa421053330b9b022

Seriously. Could there be anything worse? By a slim margin... yes. But this is truly an abhorrent development, from which hardcore fans and TV color balance settings may never recover.

God help us all.

*Scruffy's edit - *WORLDS BIGGEST FIST PUMP* 

Star-divide

 

Just what is this abomination exactly? At a glance, the Seahawks first official 3rd/alternate jersey looks like a combination home pant/road jersey (the original-new "road" jersey, technically) with the white replaced by neon motherfucking green:

Jw6s5wcpfpmhcdnvna4ouevat_medium

Upon closer inspection, however, we see that the pants have been tweekered as well:

2009949705_medium

A white stripe with a green border  "Seahawks Navy" pantlegs (same color as the top stripe of the logo) with the lighter "Seahawks Blue" bordering the neon green stripe--the opposite of the standard home pants. Whatever. That green top is a waking nightmare. In a season featuring a host of "legacy" games commemorating the 50th Anniversary of the American Football League--right down to the officials' uniforms, no less--would this have been so terrible?

Largentsea5_medium

Of course not. That's the uniform we grew up with, screaming our brains out in the Dome for the old Blue, Silver and Green. Oh yeah...SILVER! Silver, as in the pants, the helmets, even the end zones on occasion. Green was an accent for chrissakes. Yeah, the Sounders FC are great, cross-promotion yada yada, I hate these like the plague.

 

3954980550_a9bc7bb86e_o_medium

Update: Prior to posting this I had not yet seen (honestly!) this Uni Watch post (scroll to the bottom) decrying as "the end of the world as we know it" Chris Berman's warning of these hideous togs. But obviously I concur wholeheartedly, and tip my BLUE Seahawks hat to you, good sirs.

3919087313_e03af8d354_o_medium

3613099382_a68445ce31_o_medium

A place to bury strangers.

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A couple of thoughts

(1) Matt’s joking

(2) Matt’s faking injury to avoid taking the field in one of these monstrosities

(3) How are the Bears going to be play when their eyes are bleeding?

Mike Wahle(OG), Walter Jones(LT), Chris Spencer(C), Marcus Trufant(CB), Deion Branch(WR), Sean Locklear(OT), Brandon Mebane(DT), Leroy Hill(LB), Lofa Tatupu(LB), Josh Wilson(CB), Justin Griffith(FB), Matt Hasselbeck (QB)

by ninjasocks on Sep 26, 2009 4:05 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

I like these a lot.

Andrew Raycroft for backup? Does not compute.

by Woodinville_12thMan on Sep 26, 2009 4:05 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

I'm not sure God has ever been helping the Seahawks.

See: Super Bowl XL
See: 2008 Seahawks’ Season
See: Last week against the 9ers.

by Bildo on Sep 26, 2009 10:15 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

No one ever said

God doesn’t have a sense of humor.

by Bildo on Sep 27, 2009 1:22 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

also

See: 1976-2003

It's Great to be a Florida Gator!

09/05
Terminated contracts
S Brian Russell

by Wayward Llama on Sep 27, 2009 10:41 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

And the Phantom Touchdown.

I still have not gotten over that play to this very day.

Sam Bradford, future Seattle Seahawk.

by Carl Shinyama on Sep 27, 2009 6:24 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Braough! brouuughth! spit spit yuck

I thought this was a joke. I just chucked my mondo burrito.

yea dude

by dirtyktm on Sep 26, 2009 4:30 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Yeah the mondo burrito sucks

It’s not a joke.

May the Forsett be with you.

by SSreporters on Sep 26, 2009 4:37 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

They're so terrible

Chipotle > 99% of burrito places

The demise of the Broncos in '09 is our future. Pray hard.

by Nick Andron on Sep 26, 2009 9:12 PM PDT via mobile up reply actions   0 recs

Chipotle is just too unhealthy.

I like Moe’s, except for being bellowed at when you walk in the door.

It's Great to be a Florida Gator!

09/05
Terminated contracts
S Brian Russell

by Wayward Llama on Sep 26, 2009 10:16 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

WHOOOOOOOOO

You got to be kidding…this is awesome. How do you not love the green? That is sacrilegious

I Bleed Blue and Green

by DSAhawker on Sep 26, 2009 4:32 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

The pants are what makes it awesom.

Darker and with different striping. Plus the all blue sock rather than blue and white.

Andrew Raycroft for backup? Does not compute.

by Woodinville_12thMan on Sep 26, 2009 4:34 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Imagine If They Wear These Atrocities

…and then win. They’ll have to keep wearing them for “good luck.”

by Santolina chamaecyparissus on Sep 26, 2009 4:35 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Aren't they only allowed to win them at home games?

Mike Wahle(OG), Walter Jones(LT), Chris Spencer(C), Marcus Trufant(CB), Deion Branch(WR), Sean Locklear(OT), Brandon Mebane(DT), Leroy Hill(LB), Lofa Tatupu(LB), Josh Wilson(CB), Justin Griffith(FB), Matt Hasselbeck (QB)

by ninjasocks on Sep 26, 2009 4:40 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Twice per year is the rule, not limited to home games as far as I know

But the “marketing” angle would seem to make only home games logical. Marketing to 6 year old girls, that is.

by lemonverbena on Sep 26, 2009 4:53 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

"Marketing to 6 year old girls, that is."

Not fair. Not all Sounders fans are 6 year old girls. Most = all.

Mike Wahle(OG), Walter Jones(LT), Chris Spencer(C), Marcus Trufant(CB), Deion Branch(WR), Sean Locklear(OT), Brandon Mebane(DT), Leroy Hill(LB), Lofa Tatupu(LB), Josh Wilson(CB), Justin Griffith(FB), Matt Hasselbeck (QB)

by ninjasocks on Sep 26, 2009 4:59 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

"Twice per year is the rule"

[sigh of relief]

by Santolina chamaecyparissus on Sep 26, 2009 5:44 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Awesome. I love it.

Alternate jerseys, folks. Let’s not freak out quite yet.

BTW that link to “yes” gives me the old “you’ve done this the wrong way, back the hell up” message.

by djafrot on Sep 26, 2009 4:36 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Scruff, really?

Really takes the flavor (talent, brilliance) out of my headline. pouts

by lemonverbena on Sep 26, 2009 4:44 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

So epic.

I love the green, but I do wanna see the old school uni’s worn or the all white at home.

by MFAN on Sep 26, 2009 4:46 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

I like these as alternates

But I think our normal uniform should include silver pants and helmets. The jersey can stay blue.

by Snowman1025 on Sep 26, 2009 4:47 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

All I'll say is

Seattle better motherfucking win.

by John Morgan on Sep 26, 2009 5:13 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

I'll second that.

Getting slapped around while wearing these jerseys will just make it that much worse.

It's Great to be a Florida Gator!

09/05
Terminated contracts
S Brian Russell

by Wayward Llama on Sep 26, 2009 5:16 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

haha no kidding

If we lost while wearing these jerseys we would look almost as bad as the Lions.

by Seahawksfan23 on Sep 26, 2009 6:29 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Amen

This is the only correct response. Win and nobody will care if they are ugly. Lose and it will just be something else to bitch about instead of poor play.

by Hooper31 on Sep 26, 2009 9:54 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

how are people possibly liking these atrocities

I wish I didn’t just get a new HD TV

bayless leaves over my dead body
andre miller>hedo
real.baller

by thomasikehara on Sep 26, 2009 5:28 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

I'd watch the game at a sports bar

No sense in risking your TV catching on fire.

Mike Wahle(OG), Walter Jones(LT), Chris Spencer(C), Marcus Trufant(CB), Deion Branch(WR), Sean Locklear(OT), Brandon Mebane(DT), Leroy Hill(LB), Lofa Tatupu(LB), Josh Wilson(CB), Justin Griffith(FB), Matt Hasselbeck (QB)

by ninjasocks on Sep 26, 2009 5:31 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

I'd suggest wearing one of these

Mike Wahle(OG), Walter Jones(LT), Chris Spencer(C), Marcus Trufant(CB), Deion Branch(WR), Sean Locklear(OT), Brandon Mebane(DT), Leroy Hill(LB), Lofa Tatupu(LB), Josh Wilson(CB), Justin Griffith(FB), Matt Hasselbeck (QB)

by ninjasocks on Sep 26, 2009 6:00 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Heck, I might wear one at home

Mike Wahle(OG), Walter Jones(LT), Chris Spencer(C), Marcus Trufant(CB), Deion Branch(WR), Sean Locklear(OT), Brandon Mebane(DT), Leroy Hill(LB), Lofa Tatupu(LB), Josh Wilson(CB), Justin Griffith(FB), Matt Hasselbeck (QB)

by ninjasocks on Sep 26, 2009 6:00 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

I guarantee these are going to leave imprint ghost shadow things on older plasma TVs.

"I wish the Seahawks were back in the AFCW so we didn’t have to face Willis and Gore twice a year."

by Fearless Frog on Sep 26, 2009 7:00 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

YES!

Nothing beats the original unis, but they’re an improvement over the current gawd-awful rental-car blue.

by TheLaird on Sep 26, 2009 7:01 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

I LOVE THEM

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS I’ve been hoping we’d debut these! FUCK YEAH.

by twocolorcrayon on Sep 26, 2009 7:05 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Fuck yes they are.

The healing power of these amazing Jerseys eased their hurts. Prepare for an 8 sack game from Mebane and 5 picks from Lucas.

I’m calling it right now, motherfuckers.

by Bildo on Sep 26, 2009 10:22 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

This is fucking incredible.;

"I wish the Seahawks were back in the AFCW so we didn’t have to face Willis and Gore twice a year."

by Fearless Frog on Sep 26, 2009 10:21 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

teamwork!

--Shrug
Field Gulls - The SBN Seattle Seahawks Blog

by Shrug on Sep 27, 2009 12:43 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Let's do this

I bought my first Seahawks jersey a few years ago at the shop in the Southcenter mall, on my way to the airport. I looked at a new-style Tatupu jersey, but I couldn’t keep my gaze off of the throwback Largent jersey. A young woman asked if I needed help, and I described my dilemma to her. Without hesitation, she said of the throwback uni, “That’s the one that gets ya goin’!” She’s right. It’s the color.

by TheLaird on Sep 26, 2009 8:54 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

because they're neon freakin' green

bayless leaves over my dead body
andre miller>hedo
real.baller

by thomasikehara on Sep 26, 2009 8:57 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

You're right, Coach.

The green uniforms are incredible.

by katal on Sep 27, 2009 7:58 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Fucking awesome news!!

I still want to get a lime green jersey!

Sam Bradford, future Seattle Seahawk.

by Carl Shinyama on Sep 26, 2009 9:42 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

These Jerseys are for Peaceful Purposes!

Don’t be hatin’. Dont’ be chuggin’ the Haterade. The Seahawks are gonna totally make these jerseys happen!

by TheLaird on Sep 26, 2009 11:02 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

I'm glad I'm not the only one

who likes these Jerseys. I think they’re awesome in a nasty way. You have to be a special sort of asshole to make 70,000 people stare at the jerseys for 3 hours. And that’s just the crowd at Qwest.

by Bildo on Sep 26, 2009 10:25 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Just plain ugly

These have to be the ugliest jerseys ever in the NFL. Anyone that likes them has to be color blind.

by seer#1 on Sep 26, 2009 10:37 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

No, you're wrong

Because the current Seahawks jerseys are the ugliest jerseys ever in the NFL. Period. Paragrah. Nothing could be uglier. Fact. QED.

by TheLaird on Sep 26, 2009 11:04 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Yeah. I don't think so.

It's Great to be a Florida Gator!

09/05
Terminated contracts
S Brian Russell

by Wayward Llama on Sep 27, 2009 10:43 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

I am color blind. I find them atrocious.

But, you know what? Maybe once they get on the field, it will look better.

It's Great to be a Florida Gator!

09/05
Terminated contracts
S Brian Russell

by Wayward Llama on Sep 27, 2009 5:23 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Not to put too fine a point on it...

But it’s better to have a garish color that some people like than a meh color that nobody likes.

by TheLaird on Sep 26, 2009 11:40 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Not the silver helmet.

It's Great to be a Florida Gator!

09/05
Terminated contracts
S Brian Russell

by Wayward Llama on Sep 27, 2009 5:24 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Better.

"Football players are temperamental. That's 90 percent temper and 10 percent mental." - Doug Plank

by Stevo's on Sep 27, 2009 7:37 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

I like the lime green ones.

But these are way better then the blue on blue.

NEEDS MORE FREEDOM!

by Scruffy Lefty on Sep 27, 2009 8:20 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Those are sweet.

Andrew Raycroft for backup? Does not compute.

by Woodinville_12thMan on Sep 27, 2009 10:02 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

The aways are hideous.

"I wish the Seahawks were back in the AFCW so we didn’t have to face Willis and Gore twice a year."

by Fearless Frog on Sep 27, 2009 10:14 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

These are easily the ugliest thing in the history of the world and also unbelievably awesome.

They are the football jersey equivalent of “Metal Machine Music”. I love them.

by acblue on Sep 27, 2009 3:53 AM PDT reply actions   0 recs

http://www.geocities.com/Colosseum/1871/bell.jpg

I'm gonna go calm submissive on your ass.

by Dukeshire on Sep 27, 2009 7:02 AM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Thanks for telling us the official name of the color, John.

“neon motherfucking green”, yeah, that’s it.

"Football players are temperamental. That's 90 percent temper and 10 percent mental." - Doug Plank

by Stevo's on Sep 27, 2009 7:37 AM PDT reply actions   0 recs

I still have not seen the uniform

I am watching the Fox pregame and there is not a jersey sighting yet

by Seahawk Bob on Sep 27, 2009 9:27 AM PDT reply actions   0 recs

The game doesn't start for 3 more hours, so be patient.

Yesterday's Pants
A blog-thingy about the Mariners and stuff.

by BrettJMiller on Sep 27, 2009 9:32 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

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