FanPost

Seattle Hawkus -- Week 7: The Cardinals

Look at this smug little face. 

Cardinal_medium

Fuck you, Cardinal.

No one is scared of you. Why don't you go put more black face paint on to up your intimidation points? We're not buying your sad attempt to boost your street cred with that shitty faux-hawk. You are a damn songbird Cardinal, leave hunting up to the raptors. You were named after clergymen, while our name essentially means "bone breaker" in Latin. Plus, we have reversible rear talons. What do you have? A cunty ass face, and that's about it. 

In addition to being the least intimidating mascot in professional football, you're also a whore. Seven states have you marked down as their official state bird. That's even more than have had The Cardinals marked down as their official state team (POW, you nomadic bitches). 

Let's Haiku this little, red worm-gobbler. No one thought we could beat The Bears at home, but through the power of our Hawkus, we did it.

Now, let us break Max Hall and the Cardinals with the same.

Hot Streak

Seattle's on fire

More fire than a dragon fight

You won't put us out

 

Lord, Forgive Us for What We are About to Do

Sorry, A-Z fans

Maz Hall seems like a good kid

Still gonna' kill him...

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