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Out of the Mouths of Babes
by DJ C-Raig on Oct 5, 2010 5:14 PM PDT
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PrintSo, it's my day off. A few hours ago I was laying on the grass outside my apartment, catching some rays and sipping on a Le Merle. The sun is out, the birds are twittering, the squirrels are hiding nuts and shit: life seems good.
I can hear what sounds to be an eight-year-old kid yelling from not so far away. It is really ruining my relaxation time, but I try to ignore it. I start to get angry. It's like a mosquito in my ear that will not go away. I tune in to what he is saying by reflex:
"...Brady drops back. He is hit hard by Curry as he throws! The ball sails high and is picked off by Earl Thomas! Thomas has blockers, he cuts a man out, he's at the 20, the 10, 5, Touchdown SEAHAWKS!"
I lay back on the grass and listen to this kid for a good twenty minutes, and soon I start to get into it. Matt drives us down the field to tie it up. Brady throws a bomb to Moss, who pulls it out of Trufant's hands. We block a last minute field goal. The greatest part was when (presumably) the kid's mom came out. She sounded like a typical, slightly overweight, very involved mother, and she said "Honey, can you keep your Steve Raible voice down?". It has to one of the greatest games ever played, and it's 35-38 Pats with three seconds left in the fourth.
That's when this kid says this:
"Hasselbeck is on the Pats' 30. He has Williams out on the left side. Here comes...It's Bobby Engram! Bobby Engram is here to play! Hasselbeck hikes the ball, he steps back and shoots...CAUGHT BY ENGRAM! Oh my God! Touchdown Hawks! Hawks win the game, Hawks win the gaaaaame!"
I almost cheered, I almost cried, I almost clapped. I did not do any of those things of course. I just smiled, lay back, and enjoyed the game.
Ahh, young love.
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I was this way about baseball.
I turned 10 during the 95 season, so you can imagine how consumed I was. My brother and I had each batting stance memorized. Could probably still do Joey Cora, Edgar, Buhner, and Griffey to this day, while “getting out the rye bread and the mustard Grandma, it’s GRAND, SALAMI TIME!”
A couple years ago, Jay Buhner’s son was playing in a pony league (yes, the one from his SI cover) tournament that my brother was the umpire for. I took a Refuse to Lose mini-poster down there and got a signature afterward.
Yup.
Every time I was in my backyard , I would announce myself in my best Dave Niehaus voice as, “Keeeeeennnnnnnnnn Grifeeeeeeeeeey Juniorrrrrrrrr!” and do my best imitation of his moonshot swing. After a couple imitations of The Kid, I would practice my Buhner, Edgar, and Mike Blowers swings.
by killacamkilla2 on Oct 5, 2010 10:12 PM PDT up reply actions
I would loudly announce The Kid's arrival to the plate
every time I “faced” my dad in the backyard when I was growing up.
God I miss childhood. I even tried to be a switch hitter like my favorite player, Joey Cora. That didn’t go so well.
Every Sunday, Section 336's loudest fan.
Oh my God, I did the same thing.
Had all the batting stances memorized and everything. Almost every game I played came down to a dramatic walk-off homer from Griffey, and I would imitate Niehaus going nuts.
My parents must have thought I was crazy.
Is that the light at the end of the tunnel, or the headlights of an oncoming train?
Krieg to Largent
Won the Seahawks SOOOO many Super Bowls in my yard and my basement. And Easley and Green sealed so many of those victories with a timely pick or sack.
Truly, it was GLORIOUS!
Why didn't the Hawks kick the tying field goal?
Gotta have more faith in Mare, random 8-year-old kid
I'd rather know a little about a lot than a lot about a little
by Sportszilla on Oct 6, 2010 10:24 AM PDT reply actions 7 recs
Because whether you're 8, or 137 years old...
It’s “Just win baby.”
Doesn't this kid know that Randy Moss got traded?
Come on.
by purplepansy on Oct 6, 2010 2:04 PM PDT reply actions 2 recs
Moss to Minnesota?
Oh. Sure enough. I seem to catch a lot of the late breaking news here in the comments section.
I wonder what the Minnesota fans will think. Did he leave the Vikes on good terms? I can’t remember. I keep getting Moss and TO’s trade histories confused…
Wait.
What?
Chad Brown for the Ring of Honor!
by Big Seahawk Loser on Oct 6, 2010 7:59 PM PDT up reply actions
Knowing the seahawks the kids next statement should of been.
“12 men of the field…offense number 84, since the play occurred with under a minute remaining there will be a 10 second run off, the game is over.”
by MFAN on Oct 6, 2010 2:04 PM PDT reply actions 1 recs
MFAN you have won!
go here to collect your prize: http://bit.ly/rCCPX
inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
The addition of Lynch to this backyard dream team.
I can’t wait till next game when he has The Predator running the ball! “Lynch used his shoulder mounted laser to clear Patrick Willis out of his way. Lynch drops hat and runs stupid fast! TOUCHDOWN SEAHAWKS!!!!!”
I did this in my driveway with the Sonics
Circa ‘78-’79. Complete with lineup announcements (boos after the names of Gar Heard, Truck Robinson and Alvan Adams), substitutions (Dennis Autry and Joe Hassett got their glory too) and a national anthem at, er, slightly less than Lincoln Center quality.
by Suburban Shocker on Oct 6, 2010 2:33 PM PDT reply actions
From downtown...
Same here. Every time I’d attempt a long jump shot, I was Fred Brown shooting from well beyond the three point line.
(Actually, the three point line didn’t come around until much later, did it?)
My brother was Shawn Kemp
I was Dana Barros.
… I have no idea why I wanted to be, of all the Sonics, Dana Barros.
I would always imitate the immortal calls from NBA Jam
BOOM SHAKALAKA!
Is that the light at the end of the tunnel, or the headlights of an oncoming train?
Since when
Did they make Twitter available to birds? That seems odd we’d be spending money developing computers and services for birds.
Portland transplant to Boston.
by cmcdougall on Oct 6, 2010 3:13 PM PDT reply actions 1 recs
Hilarious
Thanks for posting this. It’s nice to remember why we love the game from time to time, especially after losing to the freakin’ rams.
Bird Twitter would look something like this
by huskies2010 on Oct 6, 2010 8:38 PM PDT up reply actions 2 recs
Whoops, replied to the wrong post.
Too lazy to fix. Pretend that’s a little bit above.
Thanks a lot for this post, man.
It’s a good time for it on our beloved, too-oft-embattled site.
Though they sink through the Sea, they shall rise again...Death shall have no dominion...
Steve Hutchinson just CHOKE SLAMMED Mike Holmgren!
Oh my God, somebody needs to stop this! You’re teammates for GOD’S SAKE!
(Oh sports and your face-heel turns…)
Man the WWF was so awesome.
Then I hit puberty.
by Kyle Rancourt on Oct 7, 2010 11:12 PM PDT up reply actions
C-Raig, the best posts on Field Gulls these days are yours. Kudos.
"Football players are temperamental. That's 90 percent temper and 10 percent mental." - Doug Plank
Thanks DJ
I love the optimism and imagination of a young child. It would be great if we could do that more often, would probably eliminate the crybabies that litter this state
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