I bought my father the first four seasons of Lost for Christmas. I had been trying to get him to watch the show for years to no avail. Years ago I one time made him watch South Park. After about fifteen minutes he turned to me and said matter-of-factly: “It’s a f***ing cartoon”. The odds were against me. Luckily, he loved the show and we spent the majority of today finishing season one. It was better than the non-Seahawk football they had on. I could write 6000 words on the brilliance of season one, but we don’t have time tonight. Tonight is the biggest Seahawk game in years. Tonight we have a chance to make the playoffs with one of the worse teams in football. I’ve talked about how much Bill Simmons had influenced me in wanting to write about sports, so as a homage to him, we’ll do a running diary of the tonight’s game. I just finished the season 1 finale with Pops (capped off by the awesome montage of all the characters piling onto the plane, giving polite smiles to strangers they would soon be bonding with on the island), cracked a beer and am amped up for a chance at our seventh win. Go Hawks!!
6:05 I’d love to tell what’s happening on the pregame show right now, but Dad has the remote control so we’re watching the Golf Channel.
6:08 Now it’s Duke and Miami playing hoops. Maybe I should grab the remote if I’m going to try doing this diary…
6:10 We’re on NBC! Got to see a promo for a Kathy Bates show I will never watch and some game show where people do retarded things in under one minute. Lost has spoiled me.
6:13 “It doesn’t matter how we got here, we’re here! Let’s go eat that carrot!”-Lawyer Milloy
6:18 Rumor is Hasselbeck might start now. Pops and I just discussed if that’s good or bad. We still don’t know.
6:25 Dad is now very pissed that Hasselbeck might start, so I spent 5 minutes explaining how Whitehurst is the worst QB I’ve ever seen in my life. It’s not that I WANT Hasselbeck, but he’s currently the only QB on the roster.
6:27 Coach Pete says Whitehurst is the QB tonight. Time to grab another beer.
6:32 Whitehurst deep to Martin! I didn’t know either of those players this time last year. Gain of 62!
6:34 Inside the 20, two straight dead plays. 3rd and long…and Whitehurst gets sacked. Wait! Holding on the defense! Our best offense involves defensive penalties. Been saying that all year.
6:36 Touchdown Seahawks!! We have a Mike Williams sighting!
6:42 We hold the Rams to a 3 and out, followed by Washington fumbling the ball out of bounds. I’ve got to say, we look good so far.
6:43 Some Pepsi commercial where Mark Sanchez is throwing Pepsi bottles at truck drivers. I’m starting to understand how that “less than a minute” game show exists.
6:49 Lynch for 11! We need him this game. I’ve been searching for his picture on milk cartons the last few weeks.
6:51 Charlie Whitehurst makes a Charlie Whitehurst throw that lands a few yards away from the RB on 3rd down. Still, he hasn’t looked that bad so far. I’m optimistic.
6:56 After our punt, we stop the Rams again. This is followed by Washington not calling a fair catch despite a Rams defender doing everything but shooting a flair to let Washington know he’s parked a yard away. Luckily he doesn’t fumble and Whitehurst trots back out.
6:59 NBC just showed a graphic about father and son QB’s that, other than the Mannings, was a bunch of crappy QBs. Fittingly, Seattle goes 3 and out.
7:03 Bradford gets 2 more passes tipped at the line. I haven’t seen our defense play this good since the Chicago game. After a good punt return, the Rams get a 15 yard penalty. Our ball in Rams territory!
7:07 The Seahawks waste no time getting our defense back onto the field.
7:08 The first quarter ends with the Rams facing 2nd and 8 from their own 7 yard line. Good start for the Hawks, but the offense is starting to look…well, normal.
7:16 We rush a bunch of guys, Bradford hits a short pass, that guy goes for 6-10 yards. Then Jackson rushes for 4-8 yards. Read that sentence 6 times and you have the Rams drive so far.
7:18 The replay shows a 3rd down play the refs called incomplete was probably complete. Rams don’t challenge, thank God, and out comes the field goal team.
7:19 7-3 Seahawks.
7:21 They show a coach talking to Whitehurst, followed by both me and Dad yelling “No, Charlie, the quarterback! You’re the quarterback! The guy who throws the ball!”
7:26 Lynch continues to get hit by 8 guys at a time. We may want to just keep passing.
7:27 Whitehurst makes another Whitehurst throw. We may want to just keep rushing. Punt team.
7:28 They haven’t showed a stat yet, but other than that bomb to a wide open Martin on our first drive, I don’t think Whitehurst has thrown a completed pass more than 2 yards. Not a good sign.
7:32 The defense shuts down the Rams again. They look great so far. Practicing against Charlie Whitehurst must give you a lot of confidence.
7:36 3rd and long, Whitehurst makes the completion! 2:17 to go in the half, some points here would be great.
7:37 Okung hurts an ankle. I know, I know…hard to believe.
7:41 Whitehurst throws a 5 yard pass on 3rd and 13. Defense needs one more stop this half.
7:46 A false start and a sack effectively ends the Rams drive. After a punt Charlie should have about 40 seconds to navigate a scoring drive.
7:47 Washington tackled at our 11 yard line. Charlie has 35 seconds to navigate a kneel down. We go to the half with Seattle up 7-3. Well played by our defense, same old story for our offense. 2 quarters left to decide a playoff spot!
8:07 Defense stops the Rams to start the 3rd quarter. This game might break the record for most passes attempted of 5 yards or less.
8:10 Whitehurst sidesteps and throws a (what else) 2 yard pass to Lynch.
8:10 Rams ball on our 20.
8:12 Jackson runs to the 1, but they call holding thanks to Milloy acting like he got dragged down by a lion. 1st and goal from the 15.
8:14 And out comes the field goal team. Hopefully someone is introducing Whitehurst to our receivers before he goes back out there.
8:16 Apparently Kathy Bates is named Harry, and she has her own law.
8:18 Text from my buddy Bevraj: “This game is everything I thought it would be.”
8:18 My Dad: “We got our touchdown, hopefully it will hold up!”
8:22 Pete Carroll is the 2nd oldest coach in the NFL? This shocker is followed by Forsett running 20 yards. Big drive for us here.
8:24 3rd down completion to Williams! First down!
8:26 Leon Washington! First down!
8:27 Just filled my buddy Brian in on what we traded for Whitehurst and how much we signed him for. He thinks I’m drunk and kidding. He’s half right.
8:30 Field goal Seahawks!
8:31 I liked that last drive. Kept their defense out there for a while, gave our defense a rest, and Whitehurst even threw a couple balls more than 5 yards (granted they ended up out of bounds, but whatever).
8:33 Cris Collinsworth: “This is fun tonight! This is as well as these two teams can play!” Ouch.
8:35 Rams just missed a long completion. Another 3 and out. Our defense has been playing out of their mind.
8:38 3rd quarter ends with us facing third and one from the Rams 40 yard line. One more quarter to go. I’m getting antsy.
8:42 Carroll blows our 2nd timeout before punting the ball. Because, you know, he wanted to punt from the Rams 40, not their 45.
8:45 Rams drop a 20 yard completion. Another 3 and out. Dad and I are beginning to think they’re playing for a better draft position.
8:49 Whitehurst completes a 1st down pass followed by me getting a “$10,000,000” text from Brian.
8:52 Field goal Seahawks! We have dominated the game and yet are only ahead by 7. Around 11 minutes left to go…
8:54 Al Michaels: “Well, when the big boss says you have to see a show, I say you have to see a show. Harry’s Law appears Mondays on NBC.”
8:56 Alexander tries to catch a 50-yard pass with his elbows and the Rams go three and out again. Bring on the punt team!
9:03 Seahawks milk 17 seconds off the clock and then pin the Rams at their own 40 yard line with a booming punt. Yep.
9:06 Interception Herring!! Defense keeps bailing the offense out.
9:11 Robinson gets stopped for no gain and a 1st down. You had to be watching to understand that joke.
9:12 Seriously, he was a yard short. Love it!!
9:13 Text from Brian: “Super Bowl payback on that call?”
9:14 A couple runs up the middle, followed by us lining up for a field goal and the Rams jumping offside. First down Seahawks!!
9:19 Hawks face 3rd and long from the 20. Seattle is a Mare field goal away from clinching a playoff spot.
9:20 Rams use their last timeout, and here comes Mare. Looks to be about 35 yards.
9:21 The kick is GOOOOODD! Hawks by 10 with less than 2 minutes to go!
9:22 All joking aside, Whitehurst impressed me tonight. Granted, every pass seemed to go 2-3 yards, but he didn’t make any big mistakes and scrambled when he needed to. He definitely played better than Matt has these past few weeks. Should be an interesting debate heading into the game Saturday.
9:25 I don’t know if you are aware, but betting on the Seahawks to win straight up pays better than betting on the Seahawks (+4). Just making you aware.
9:28 Dad: “They should send Matt out there to take a knee”.
And with that, the Seahawks host the Saints next Saturday. My early vote is that Whitehurst should start. I made fun of him all game, but again, the kid didn’t make any big mistakes. Sure the gameplan called for a zillion 3 yard passes, but maybe they’ll open it up a bit as he gets more comfortable. Sadly, I have to fly back to California on Tuesday, so I’ll be watching our next game at home. I’m glad I got to be here for this one. NFC WEST CHAMPS! GO HAWKS!