Seahawks vs Rams: Football Gets a Case of the Mondays

This week in the NFL, there were two games featuring teams whose combined amount of wins equalled seven: The Jaguars playing the Buccaneers was one. Tonight's game on national television between Seattle and St. Louis is the other. So much for expectations, planning, and a Monday night flex schedule.

It didn't take long into the year to look at this upcoming game and be more confused than if you were watching a Katy Perry video.

The Seahawks playoff hopes got very dim after wins by Atlanta and Detroit, so there won't be much on the line other than pride, and pride is overrated. It's also a sin. Stop sinning Seahawks. Stop sinning Seattle Seahawks suffering suckatash. Even for the Rams, they've got more to lose by winning than by losing. There's absolutely no reason for them to win and while it feels like a foregone conclusion that Seattle will win at home over a team they just dominated a few weeks ago, there are no foregone conclusions in football. I mean, if there were, would the NFL have scheduled this game for Monday Night?

That being said, this game is still a guilty pleasure for me. Even though I know it's going to be bad, I can't help but watch the entire thing intently. Sort of like a Katy Perry music video.

We will probably see a clinical performance on defense, something that will titillate most of us here at Field Gulls and the hardcore fanbase. We get to see more Richard Sherman, more Kam Chancellor, and more Red Bryant. Unfortunately, the offense is always a wild card. This could also be a very bad game or at least one that's hard to watch. At the time of writing this, I still don't know if Tom Brandstater will start in place of Sam Bradford. At the very least, he can hold off working at his dad's dealership for a few extra months.

(Brandstater Toyota sounds like a real thing.)

A year ago, Seahawks and Rams was moved into the night time slot on Sunday night because there was a division title on the line and a chance that a team below .500 would make the playoffs. That probably enticed ESPN to grab this late season game in hopes that the teams would be fighting for a playoff berth and a division title. What happened instead was that the Niners wrapped up the division before this week and the nation sheds a tear to watch 2-10 St. Louis and 5-7 Seattle.

Seems typical for a Monday...

From the time you were just a small child you were conditioned to hate the first day of the business week. Monday morning is the furthest away from the weekend that you will ever be. It's a terrible feeling. The weekend is the gift that makes the other five days bearable, which makes Monday just the beginning of pain. It's like being told that you have to watch the entire season of Whitney plus unaired episodes before you get to see any Community. Or it's just actually airing Whitney after midseason and not Community. The more I write, the more I want to boycott NBC and Sunday Night Football.

The reward we get for making it through another Monday without pulling a "Falling Down" is Monday Night Football. You've managed to make it through Monday without harming yourself or others? Here's your reward. Which is why we've got a crisis on our hands when the nation turns it's attention to Seattle on a Monday.

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It's not that I don't love my Hawks or the city or that I don't love it when the team makes it on national TV. It's just too bad that the team is still in the middle of it's rebuilding process and that rather than at least showcasing our young defensive playmakers off against a team like, say, Green Bay, we instead do it against the Rams.

No offense to Rams fans, but there isn't much to see there.

This may have been the worst scheduling disaster since Nickelback at halftime on Thanksgiving, when millions of Americans gave thanks to their mute buttons. Unfortunately, you can't mute a bad offense. Especially two of them. At least we can be proud of the fact that Seattle brings the exciting offense and Beast Mode to the party, while the Rams just brought the plates and plastic forks. Thanks Rams. Anybody could have brought paper plates, there's even extra in the break room. I at least spent a lot of time on this pasta salad. You could have brought soda. Even the generic stuff. You know what, I'm getting a plate out of the break room.

In preparation for the game tonight, here are just some random thoughts and facts:

Seahawks Rule Monday Night. Unfortunately 99% of Their Games are on Sunday.

It would make sense that Seattles .667 winning percentage on Monday Night Football (16-8) is best in the NFL because the only time that Seattle would be featured in a game like that is when they were good. Seattle has played in 24 Monday Night games, which is seventh fewest in the NFL. The Steelers have the second-highest winning percentage (.639) but have played in 61 Monday night games. Then you have a team like the Redskins, a team that's usually on the national radar but rarely good in the last twenty years with 61 appearances and a 27-34 record. Still, I'm not going to crap over our Monday Night dominance in a small sample size because the Falcons are 9-23 on Mondays.

Other fun facts:

  • Seattle has the most Monday Night shutouts of any team in the NFL with 5, and that's even with the fact that 12 teams have played in at least twice as many Monday games as us. Over our last three Monday Night games, the combined score is 82-0 in shutout wins over the Eagles, Raiders, and 49ers.
  • The Seahawks 42-0 win over the Eagles on December 5th, 2005 was the second-most lopsided game in Monday history, and the biggest ever for a road team.
  • The awesome thing about that game was the Matt Hasselbeck was 8 of 15 for 98 yards, 1 TD/0 INT and Shaun Alexander was the leading rusher with 49 yards, yet Seattle won 42-0. Andre Dyson was an IDP killer though with a 72-yard INT return touchdown and a 25-yard fumble return TD. Lofa Tatupu also scored on an interception. Koy Detmer and Mike McMahon combined for four interceptions.
  • One of my three favorite lines from Not Another Teen Movie is, "Shoot, we up 42-nuttin."
  • The fifth-highest scoring game in Monday Night history was a 43-39 loss to Dallas in 2004. Matt Hasselbeck threw for 414 yards, Jerry Rice had his best game as a Seahawk, and Seattle blew a 10-point lead in the fourth quarter. Julius Jones ran for 198 yards and 3 TDs, which is more than he did in his entire Seattle career.
  • Jerry Rice retired a Seahawk. I don't know if he did some ceremonial retirement with San Francisco, but he's required by law to always be remembered as a Seahawk.
  • Up until 1996, Monday Night games were shown on a one-hour tape delay in Seattle and Portland because of the news. Because we would all much rather watch Kathi Goertzen than the biggest game of the week.
  • Another reminder that the internet isn't very old.
  • Seattle can extend it's record of shutouts tonight against the Rams, but that's nothing compared to the record the Rams hold on Monday that will absolutely be up to challenge: The Rams hold the record for lowest ratings in Monday Night history with a 2004 game against the Bucs that drew a 7.7 rating. We are definitely going to put that record to the test.

Football + Beast Mode + Beer = Drink Skittlebrau for Every Marshawn TD

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Seriously. Do it.

Nation, Meet the Shermanator

So the Hawks played in front of the nation on Thursday night against the Eagles, and more people were introduced to players like David Hawthorne, Brandon Browner, and Richard Sherman. But no game during the week of the regular season, outside of Thanksgiving games, compares to playing on Monday.

Being a shutdown corner is being an NFL star. You rarely get that out of many positions, but because it's hard to identify shutdown corners since their most important job is being so good that they never get thrown to, then fans start to respect you only after pundits tell them to. That's what we could hear tonight from Jon Gruden and Ron Jaworski on Sherman.

The rookies legend is growing around the Seattle area, and you'd notice the numbers that FOX broadcasts on the local telecasts as far as how unsuccessful receivers have been against him, but it's too soon for those numbers to translate to stardom or respect for Sherman around the nation. And it's still going to take time. Joe Haden in Cleveland was a top pick a year ago and even he is mostly unknown by fans.

Playing a big game tonight, coming up with perhaps a pick six or allowing 0 catches to his opponents, will get the broadcast booth to point out what they heard from the Seattle coaches in pre-game interviews on Richard Sherman.

The same can be said for Kam, Hawthorne, Red, K.J. Wright, and Doug Baldwin as young players on Seattle that we know are good, have a chance to step into a much larger spotlight. Someone's twitter account is going to blow up after tonight. (Hopefully mine?)

Kam Hates Me, But I Still Love Him

After I inducted Kam into the I Love You, Always Forever club, I decided it to tweet it to him a couple of days later (only the second time since the initial tweet) and said something like "One more chance for Kam to see this." and he replied "I already seen it."

Then his next immediate tweet, not addressing me specifically, but addressing me: Some people just try too damn hard.

It's almost as if telling another guy that you love him, a stranger at that, is creepy. How could it be creepy! And how is two tweets trying too hard! My only explanation is that what Kam was really saying was "You ain't tryin' hard enough if you want to ride tandem bikes together and throw the ball around." and I'm reading your message loud and clear Bam Bam.

It's Monday, Monday

Take my advice on this: Do not read what I am about to write. Seriously, don't read it. You are going to regret it. You think I'm joking but the truth of the matter is that you will hate me after you do. You'll be like "DAMN IT WHY DID YOU DO THAT!?!?" and my only reply will be "I told you not to read it." And then it will be awkward. You're probably saying to yourself, "Then why write it?" and my reply is "Because I have to. Because this is my natural disposition and if I don't follow my natural instincts, then who am I?"

This is just something I have to do. Just don't read it.

5 PM, Getting off work

Gotta drive home, gotta get to the front door

Gotta turn the knob, gotta push the door in

Sitting down now, TV on now

Flip channels on and on, everybody's rushin'

Gotta get to the right channel

Gotta watch my Hawks, I see ESPN


Kam is on the defense

Beast is on the offense

Gotta make my mind up

Which Hawk is my faaave?


It's Monday, Monday

Gotta get down on Monday

Nobody's lookin' forward to the Seahawks, Rams

Monday, Monday

Do we have to get down with Monday

Nobody's lookin' forward to the game


Playin', Playin' (YEAH!)

Playin', Playin' (YEAH!)

Run, run, run, run

Lookin' forward to the Beast Mode


7 PM, neither team has scored

Second half, people gettin' bored

Run, run think about run

You know what it is

We got this, they got this

Josh Brown is wide right

We got this, they got this

Now the Rams blow it


Tarvaris on the offense

Rams don't have an offense

Gotta make my mind up

Should I watch something else?


It's Monday, Monday

We have to get down on Monday?

Everybody's lookin' forward to being drunk, being drunk

Monday, Monday

Is this really on a Monday?

Everybody's lookin' forward to the playoffs


Passin', Passin' (YEAH!)

Passin', Passin' (NO!)

Run, run, run, run

Lookin' for more Beast Mode


Yesterday was Sunday, Sunday

Today it is Monday, Monday

Sea-sea-sea Seahawks

Sea-hawks

We gonna run the ball today

Tomorrow is Tuesday

Then there are some more days

Then the weekend, I think...


RAPPPPPP TIME!!!!

S-S, Seattle Seahawks

Skittlebrau, Marshawn, PC, Punt blocks

In Beast Mode (In Beast Mode)

We drivin', cruisin'

A gaps, B gaps

With a Baldwin pass too

Now I see Obo catch a pass, that's coo

The game clock tick tock, tick tock, wanna scream

Check the time, no time left, its a Hawks shutout

We gonna have fun, c'mon, c'mon, run


It's Monday, Monday

Gotta deal with Monday

Everybody's lookin' forward to bedtime, bedtime

Monday, Monday,

Wishing it was Friday,

Everybody's lookin forward to week 15


Gruden', Gruden', (YEAH!)

Jaws, Jaws, (SHIT!)

Fun, fun, fun, fun

Let's just get this game over with.

I told you not to read that, and now on with the comments....

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