FanPost

Assessing Need: That me-first, scandal heavy, overpaid, trash talking, everyone loves to hate....

090806_tj_houshmandzadeh_medium

T.J. Houshmandzadeh was the last Seahawk attempted to take up such a mantle. It failed miserably.

Looking at the Seahawks roster, there are lots of large holes in a team that made the playoffs and defeated the then-champions Saints. Did I mention we were also 7-9? Obviously last year was a amazing season, but while we can still hold 2010 to our hearts and keep our optimism, only a fool can say that this team does not need drastic improvement this off-season.

The Seahawks needs a lot of things: namely, a quarterback that can throw, a offensive tackle that can block, a cornerback(s) that can defend the pass and a linebacker who can actually play. All these positions are, of course, some of the keys to what will happen next year.

But if one position that neither Mr. John Morgan nor Benne noticed as a glaring hole in our roster, that one player that could take us to the playoff for years to come, it is this...

...that me-first, scandal heavy, overpaid, trash talking, everyone loves to hate me douchebag. These guys will make so many people mad that they will become distracted, angry, and ruin the game enough so that we will be forced to eventually win.

The best teams in the NFL always have one or more of these guys. Baltimore, whose defense is considered top notch for the last couple of seasons, has the great Ray Lewis. The Jets have Rex Ryan, perhaps the best future hall-of-famer for this position. Across the town, New England, who has won three Super Bowls and a 16-0 season in its prime, had Rodney Harrison and a coach that actually cheats! But nobody could top Pittsburgh in finding the most me-first, scandal heavy, overpaid, trash talking, everyone loves to hate me douchebags, and with Big Ben, Hines Ward, James Harrison and Larry Foote leading the charge, it's no wonder why they are considered one of the most successful franchises in history.

And what do we have? Nothing. Zip. Nada. Our top players are nicknamed after car brands and children movies, our fanbase is the smartest and nicest in the nation, even our freaking owner is a computer geek! Does this even translate intimidation to you? No wonder the refs hate us - we don't have anybody willing to talk back to them!

Look back at our Super Bowl year, and even then we didn't have any me-first, scandal heavy, overpaid, trash talking, everyone loves to hate me douchebags either. MVP Shaun Alexander was a born-again christian. Floyd Womack was called "Porkchop". We were even lucky to beat a stacked Carolina team with Steve Smith and Julius Peppers in the conference game, let alone have a chance to face the Steelers.

But there's hope. If one thing Pete Carroll embraces in players its that me-first, scandal heavy, overpaid, trash talking, everyone loves to hate me douchebag ability. His track record in USC shows: Matt Leinart, Lendale White, Reggie Bush and Brian Cushing to name a few. I have hope that Pete will eventually find his me-first, scandal heavy, overpaid, trash talking, everyone loves to hate me douchebag - he's tried with Mike Williams, but his comeback story overruled his obnoxious style back in his tenure with Detroit and in college. Rest assured that there are plenty of options to fill in this need this offseason, and here are some of the players that will fit the bill nicely:

Antonio Cromartie - DB, FA

Cromartie is a experienced me-first, scandal heavy, overpaid, trash talking, everyone loves to hate me douchebag. His resume has been cited for lack of effort in 2009, fathered at least nine or more children, has experience with court scandals and more recently, trash-talked both New England's Tom Brady and our own Matt Hasselback with the CBA. Having spend his time in San Diego and New York will only help Cromartie's experience in shaping him to a big whiny b#%@$ in his later years.

Randy Moss - WR, FA

Moss was a me-first, scandal heavy, overpaid, trash talking, everyone loves to hate me douchebag from the start of his career in 1998. One should still remember that time when he mooned Lambeau Field or the various amounts of lack-of-effort incidents in Oakland. While most of us were unsure if he lost his touch when he was paired with New England, our anxiety was melted last year when he openly complained about the Patriots, then criticized Brad Childress and the Vikings before settling down in Tennessee. Such a feat would never be accomplished again, but Moss, at the ripe age of 34, shows that he still got a little bit left in the tank for next year.

Cam Newton - QB, Draft

Newton has the most potential of the three candidates listed above. At 19, he stole a laptop in Florida and have gotten at least three counts of academic dishonesty. Then, this year, he already embroiled in for a pay-to-play scheme with his father, followed by eligibility questions later in the season. One must remember that despite these actions Newton is only 21 - and with the NFL coming to a future of greed, excess and fame, Newton will fit perfectly in the league, regardless of where he plays.

X
Log In Sign Up

forgot?
Log In Sign Up

Forgot password?

We'll email you a reset link.

If you signed up using a 3rd party account like Facebook or Twitter, please login with it instead.

Forgot password?

Try another email?

Almost done,

Join Field Gulls

You must be a member of Field Gulls to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Field Gulls. You should read them.

Join Field Gulls

You must be a member of Field Gulls to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Field Gulls. You should read them.

Spinner.vc97ec6e

Authenticating

Great!

Choose an available username to complete sign up.

In order to provide our users with a better overall experience, we ask for more information from Facebook when using it to login so that we can learn more about our audience and provide you with the best possible experience. We do not store specific user data and the sharing of it is not required to login with Facebook.

tracking_pixel_9341_tracker