1. Last week I pooped at my new girlfriend's house for the first time. She had 4-ply toilet paper. Wiping was a slice of ecstasy. It was as though God was telling my rectum "Good job" and giving a celestial thumbs up. I never wanted to stop utilizing those sumptuous squares.
This picture makes me feel that way again. Thank you God. (Photo by Justin Edmonds/Getty Images)
2.Lynch is biding his time; A leaping nut-grab is eminently imminent. (Also: something something Michael Jordan symbol.)
3. "And THAT...is how a DB tackles, Holt. I don't expect you to learn this all in one day..."
4. I'm pretty sure Bad Bones intercepted this.
4.6. "I already told you once with my mouth Golden...stay away from my glazed poppers."
5. Gallery explains fly-fishing to Miss Moffit; Okung is confused as all hell. "Watchu talkin' 'bout Robby?"
7. Cult Carroll blessing Browner. (Holy hell Browner got old).
8. The Pacific Northwest is fucking beautiful.
9. "Haha, 'Fuck bitches--Get money'! Coach Carroll says the zaniest things!"
10. "I know right? I was all, 'Cheesecake Factory? I'm not made of money dear!' ...Shorty be trippin', Coach."
11.Yes Tarvaris, Favre is gone for good.