Robert Griffin III: RGIII Seeks NFL for S&M (Starts & Money)
by Kenneth Arthur on Jan 11, 2012 1:20 PM PST
in 2012 NFL Draft
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PrintBaylor QB Robert Griffin III has officially been let it known that he is "on the market" for NFL teams and will be in the draft in 2012. He's an extremely exciting young football bachelor, having given himself a remarkable "Pretty Woman" makeover over the 2011 college season and turning himself into quite the keeper.
The next time you open the The Stranger you might run across this ad:
"BQB seeking NFL team for long-term relationship. Athletic, hard-working, good with my hands, smart, and always accurate on looking for a good connection. I tend to move fast. Hard to contain but ready for a commitment. Looking for team that knows where they are heading. Likes Pauly Shore movies."
Griffin possesses a lot of qualities that will excite some teams that are looking to solidify the most important position in football and there will be several suitors vying for his affections but only one will be the winner: the team that's willing to make the biggest sacrifice and hand him the last rose.
Will our cozy little corner of the country be the proper "bearskin rug" for RG3 to lay down on? The question I ask today is not what the Seahawks are willing to sacrifice, but what competition will they have? Which teams are going to be the most willing to woo him to their city?
It's a catfight out there and these are the players:
"Long-term marriage on the rocks. Been flirting with young man for a few months now and may be ready to move on. I love my husband, but he hasn't slept with me in over a year." - Conflicted Colt
WHY: Well, the Colts have been linked to getting a QBOTF for awhile now, ever since the Peyton Manning injury was deemed to be so serious.
WHY NOT: That QB is not going to be Robert Griffin III, of course it is going to be Andrew Luck. Either the Colts do the Luck/Manning thing, the Luck thing, or the Manning + Picks thing, but they don't do the Third thing and by that I mean the Robert Griffin III thing which is actually the "fourth thing" but I wanted to confuse the hell out of you.
CHANCES: 0%. These two just aren't a match in any way. In another world, maybe, but Indy's got it's eyes on a bigger prize.
"Excitement of new relationship has worn off. Before, everything was so hot and heavy and I loved him more than I had loved any man in a long time, but lately he's been missing for hours at a time when I really need him. Must admit, I've been abusive towards him, but I just don't know what to do." - "Sorry Sammy" in St. Louis
WHY: Part of me does wonder if the Rams need a whole makeover. I know you can't keep rebuilding every two years, but maybe Sam Bradford is damaged goods. It would be a bold move, but the Rams could still take Griffin and trade Bradford for some picks. There's more than a couple of teams that I'm sure would love to have him and could do a better job of protecting him.
WHY NOT: It would be questionable if the Rams would even trade Bradford for the opportunity to draft Luck. They won't do it for Griffin, even though that would be scandalous! More likely, they will trade down.
CHANCES: 0%. It would be too slutty of the Rams to jump from one young stud to another.
"My first relationship was very tough. I thought he was the man for me, but ended up being a total loser. I've been looking for love ever since but haven't even come close. Just so many disappointments, maybe I'm just the type to never get married. Sigh." - Brown and Out in Cleveland
WHY: The Browns have put a lot more focus on improving their defense than doing anything with their offense. I'm a very big fan of Joe Haden, Jabaal Sheard, and Phil Taylor, but not a fan of anyone on their offense except for Joe Thomas. The good news is that having an All-Pro LT like Thomas means that you can draft a young QB and protect him without much worry. Isn't it about time that they do?
WHY NOT: Well, depending on how much you believe Mike Holmgren is in control, he has never been a part of a team that drafted a QB in the first round. The Packers traded a 1st round pick for Brett Favre in the same year that Holmgren arrived, and then Seattle spent most of their time with Matt Hasselbeck. It would be a change in philosophy on how to acquire a QB, but it wouldn't change the notion that Holmgren knows you need a QB. Still, Holmgren hasn't committed to Colt McCoy for 2012 but he's also acting all coy about it like "Yeah, I love him and I also like Seneca." Stop acting like you honestly believe you'll win a Super Bowl with any quarterback on your roster. You know you're dating way below your standards and nobody honestly believes that will continue.
CHANCES: 40%? This is hard to gauge. The first two of 0% were easy, but how mad are you going to be at me if my % guesses add up to over 100? Consider it a barometer. The stars are aligned for Cleveland to draft a QB this season because of all of these reasons:
- Cleveland ranked 30th in the NFL in scoring offense and 29th in total offense, which wasted their passing defense that held opponents to 6.6 adjusted yards per pass attempt.
- Colt McCoy had 5.4 adjusted yards per pass attempt.
- The Browns own Atlanta's pick, which is 22nd overall, meaning that they can draft a QB and still draft another first-round caliber prospect.
- Head coach Pat Shurmer's first job in the NFL was with the Eagles... in 1999... and he was the QB coach. That was the same year that they drafted Donovan McNabb. He was the Offensive Coordinator for the Rams in 2009-2010 when they drafted Sam Bradford. I can't see why Shurmer wouldn't be all giddy to get a QB at the top of the draft and that includes a potential trade for Andrew Luck.
Even if the Browns are my estimated 40% chance to get RG3, they should be a 95-100% chance to get a QBOTF. If Cleveland sits back and watches Luck go first and a team trade up to two to get Griffin, then they are more Cleveland than I thought and they deserve to die alone.
"Been dating losers for the past year. Honestly, just felt like slumming it to piss off my parents. Everyone says that you and I would be really good together though. A real power couple. Besides, I was dating black guys way before it was cool. I'm ready to lock down a real winner, these other guys are just gross man." - Ready Redskin
WHY: I've been saying all year that the Rex Grossman-John Beck "QB battle" in Washington was one of the least compelling storylines in sports history, somewhere between an April game featuring the Nationals and Pirates and the Golden State Warriors signing Dan Dickau to a 10-day contract. Mike Shanahan was just like "QB? LOL!" all off-season and then what happened? They're QB's were very LOL. Both QBs were over 30 and between them they had about 2 full seasons as a starter, with only four career starts on Beck's side. They need a QB in the worst way and reek of desperation.
WHY NOT: Fool me once Mike Shanahan, shame on you. Fool me twice, you're still a dick and you should stop playing these silly games with your football teams.
CHANCES: 35%. I think that the Redskins will find a new QB, but will it be Griffin? I've seen a lot of people connect the two, but not sure how many of those people know any more about the Skins, Shanahan, and Griffin than I do. Shanahan will be coaching in the Senior Bowl, which will give him long looks at Kellen Moore, Nick Foles, Brandon Weeden and others and maybe he falls in love with one of those guys, gets a veteran QB, and drafts a QB in the middle rounds. His son Kyle became the QB coach in Houston in 2007, the same year that they acquired Matt Schaub, and he did a good job of helping Schaub develop into a very good NFL QB.
I don't know if these two are a match made in heaven, like some people do, but the Skins are lonely and need to stop slumming it.
"Current bf is cute and all, but just doesn't know what he's doing in the place that it counts. Would love to find a man with more skills" - Jaded in Jacksonville
WHY: Because Blaine Gabbert struggled and Robert Griffin III looks a lot better as a prospect.
WHY NOT: Because they just spent a high pick on Gabbert and the Jags still have the worst WR corps in the league.
CHANCES: 0% but it's fun to think about. Even with a new head coach in Mike Mularkey, it would be surprising to see the Jags make a change already. Still, if they moved to L.A. for stardom, Griffin would be the perfect man to carry on her arm.
"Kinda starting to dig the guy I just dated, but as my confidence in myself began to rise, I started thinking about looking to upgrade. I was so down in the dumps for most of last year, but I really think that 2012 will be my time to shine! I just don't know if the guy I'm with right now is the one and I'm still on the dating scene." - Wants More in Miami
WHY: With Tony Sparano gone, the Dolphins are going to be heading in a new direction, which always makes "new QB" a possibility. Despite how well Matt Moore closed out the season (the Dolphins went 6-6 in his starts and he completed over 60% of his passes for 16 TD against 9 INT) the new head coach probably won't have any personal feelings towards Matt one way or the other. It would be surprising (but not impossible) if Moore turned into a very good NFL QB, while Griffin would be the new face of the franchise to team with Reggie Bush.
WHY NOT: All those reasons stated above for Moore, who is only 27 years old. In the middle of the year, the Dolphins seemed like a lock for a team that needed to find it's QBOTF, but they went 6-3 down the stretch with Moore playing well and they could do well to upgrade other positions of need like offensive line and wide receiver.
CHANCES: 10%. If Griffin fell to the Dolphins at 8 for some reason, then fine, but there's not enough of a reason to think that they will trade up or that he will fall that far. The Dolphins can flirt with other guys, but in their heart they know they will be with Moore for at least a little while longer.
"I've made a huge mistake. I got married too soon and found out that my husband was not the man I thought he was. I am lost and don't know what to do. I can't leave him already, I know I have to make this work, but why do I keep making the same mistakes over and over again?" - Bummed in Buffalo
WHY: Because Griffin would be a major upgrade over Ryan Fitzpatrick and because Buffalo seems to be getting older as they rebuild, which doesn't make a whole lot of sense. They should have never given Fitzpatrick, who turns 30 this year, a contract when it looked so obvious that the Bills and Fitz were at their peak to start the season. Now they have no choice but to continue down this path for at least one more year.
WHY NOT: They are committed to Fitzpatrick.
CHANCES: 1%. It would be a bold move to make a play for Griffin but it's just not going to happen unless there's an absolute shocker. The Bills don't seem like the cheating type.
"I've built my house up and now the only thing missing is a real man in my life. I knew that I got into my current relationship only because I was lonely and on the rebound and just needed a guy that could bridge the gap. He's been nice to me, but I'm not in love with him and I know I never will be. I am looking for the love of my life and I know that when I find him, I'll be complete!" - Studless in Seattle
WHY: Griffin seems like a player that would fit into the system and be ready to take the Hawks to new heights in 2013. Yes, 2013. He still needs to learn how to run an NFL offense, but the physical tools are off the chart. He's potentially the most athletic QB to come into the draft since Michael Vick, which would make him no worse than the 2nd most athletic QB to ever come into the draft and be considered a top prospect that can also throw the ball. It would be best if he could sit for one year behind T-Jack while fans patiently wait.
WHY NOT: Seattle trading up is something that a lot of fans are wary of, "mortgaging the farm" on one player while sacrificing filling other needs and draft picks. I'm not sure how much it would cost for Seattle to move up from 11-12 to 2 (or 1) but I'm sure it would be very costly either way, considering that the Rams are at 2. I would have no apprehensions about the ability of Griffin and whether he'd be worth moving up, but how much should Seattle be willing to sacrifice? How many more opportunities will they have to draft in the top 12?
CHANCES: 5%. I think that Carroll would probably love to have him, and why not? But the cost is going to be too high compared to the Redskins and Browns picking in front of them and offering more, while the Rams would have to concede the pick to a division rival if they sent it to the Hawks. A lot can change between now and April, but if his stock is that high, it seems improbable that he winds up in Seattle.
"I thought things were going great in my marriage but everything fell apart last year and I'm worried that the whole house is going to collapse this year. I cared for my husband, but I fear we are near the end and that the rest of our family is leaving the nest. I need a great man that can help make my life the best it could possibly be, just as it's about to potentially fall apart." - A Pity in Kansas City
WHY: Matt Cassel is turning 30, coming off injury, and has been absolutely average in Kansas City. Over nine starts last year he was worse than Tarvaris Jackson in more than a few ways. The Chiefs could be losing Dwayne Bowe, Jamaal Charles may never regain his former skills, and Dexter McCluster has underwhelmed. The Chiefs need a star on offense or they could be very, very boring and putting a lot of pressure on their defense. RG3 would be a great fit for a team that finished 31st in scoring offense.
WHY NOT: They're still invested in Cassel and there's still a chance that Bowe re-signs and Charles returns to form while they could draft a skill player or lineman at 11/12. Like the Hawks, this is where trading up gets very expensive. The Falcons showed last year that it's not impossible, but they also showed how costly it is. During his first season in Cleveland in 2005, Romeo Crennel did not push to draft Aaron Rodgers and he slipped on by.
CHANCES: 3%. Not even close to hearing rumors like this but the Chiefs need to spark up their love life finally. It's been six years since sparks flew with Trent Green.
"Thought my man was allllll that but he turned out to be very flat! I'm living a lie thinking that this is the man for me! I know I'll never accomplish my goals with this guy and even though all my friends tell me we look so great together, I know the truth! He's all looks and no personality and I suffer for it. This year might be the last straw!" - Needy in New York
WHY: Because Mark Sanchez might never complete 60% of his passes or gain more than 7 yards per pass attempt. The Jets weren't without weapons, even if Santonio Holmes and Plaxico Burress might have the same butterfinger hands, but Sanchez isn't accurate either. I shudder to think how bad his numbers would have been without a career year from Dustin Keller. New OC Tony Sparano + Wildcat + Robert Griffin III.
WHY NOT: They won't concede that Sanchez is done and the cost to move up is too high.
CHANCES: The 1% shocker. I would be far less surprised if they got a guy like Matt Flynn. The Twitter told me that they will absolutely not be interested in Peyton Manning.
******************
A nice, round number of 10 teams that I think will either be somewhat involved in starting a relationship with Robert Griffin III, even if it's by proxy. Maybe the Rams will setup RG3 and the Browns on a date that turns into a long-lasting love. 1 in 5 relationships start on FieldGulls.com.
I've left a 5% possibility for a shocking team to swoop on the Baylor QB that's lookin' for love in all the Pro places.
Where will he wind up? You'll have to stay tuned for the long drawn out season between now and the April 26th season finale of the Baylorer.
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Comments
RGIII is a QB to avoid.
Terrible decision-making: “Likes Pauly Shore movies”.
Also, why was I not fazed when I saw cheerleader, cheerleader, cheerleader, Tom Cable?
Hilarious post. Very creative and very well done!
Eternally looking forward to someone making a Seahawks song based off of Lil' Jon's "Shots" song named "Hawks!"
We need up
Grade our cheer leaders!
by Redzone59 on Jan 11, 2012 1:55 PM PST via mobile reply actions
Tom Cable is much better looking than that Jet cheerleader.
When did the Jets start employing dudes as cheeleaders? Pretty ballsy.
BAH!!! HUMBUG!!!
by seanchristopher on Jan 11, 2012 1:58 PM PST reply actions 1 recs
Saw that guy in action
Completed less than 60% of his routines, and ended up losing control of his pom-poms and throwing them into the stands, where they were caught by a Pats fan.
by Buster! on Jan 11, 2012 10:05 PM PST up reply actions 1 recs
Very possible to trade to #3, likely, dunno.
Per the Draft Value Chart #3= 2200. #11=1250, #43=470, Next year’s 1st=590 (I believe that next year’s 1st is valued at the bottom of the round so I am assuming #32=590, for worst case). Our bundled picks equal 2310 which is overpaying by 110 points (comparable to the #2 pick in the 4th round). Yes I realize all GM’s and organizations value picks differently and I realize we may be picking #12 which would add up to 2250 which means we are paying an additional 50 points (or 4th round-pick #26). Merely trying to point out that it is possible to get into top 5.
We already have our LT, WR weapons, starting corners, a stud RB (please, please re-sign), which I think teams typically find in the 1st. The other piece teams find in the 1st and the piece we do need is a stud pass rusher. Guess what, teams don’t get to draft a QBOTF and a stud pass rusher in the same draft and I am unsure if there has been a team to get each piece in consecutive drafts (absolutely no research done on that statement, just a feeling). The pieces this team does need appear to be depth for our LB, DL, RB positions which I believe is what you expect to get in rounds 3-7.
I think that with the pieces we have and the pieces we need it would not be unreasonable to trade up to #3 to get our QBOTF, IF the FO views RGIII as our QBOTF and IF they value him as a top 5 pick, because we can fill most of our depth needs with our other picks and our pass rusher will have to wait.
"Certainly there is no hunting like the hunting of man and those who have hunted armed men long enough and liked it, never really care for anything else thereafter." - Ernest Hemingway
I believe that IND takes Luck and STL takes Kalil.
STL must protect Bradford if he is to succeed and most of what I have read paints Kalil as the best LT in the draft and some say the best LT since Thomas.
"Certainly there is no hunting like the hunting of man and those who have hunted armed men long enough and liked it, never really care for anything else thereafter." - Ernest Hemingway
STL could be wooed
“They drove a dump truck full of money up to my house! I’m not made of stone!” —Krusty the Clown.
St. Louis will be highly motivated to accept quantity over quality in its attempt to improve and could trade this pick to someone who wants RGIII.
by Garon Galloway on Jan 11, 2012 3:08 PM PST up reply actions
Or they may want the best tackle in the draft.
Just hard to say. It’ll take 3 firsts, or two firsts and a couple seconds and thirds, to get there though. That’s tough.
by B.B.Finnegan on Jan 11, 2012 3:46 PM PST up reply actions
I see what you are saying
Not disagreeing.
The Vikings make a good trading partner, but im still kinda miffed about the poison pill contract, that was just shady, if not clever. Though that can mostly be blamed on Ruskell being a terrible GM.
Yeah as much as I want to be mad at MIN...
we were the ones that let him test the market.
"Certainly there is no hunting like the hunting of man and those who have hunted armed men long enough and liked it, never really care for anything else thereafter." - Ernest Hemingway
You're still reasoning that as in "The Seahawks are the only team trying to trade up, nothing's gonna stop us nooowwww!"
And that forgets that the Redskins and Browns can offer much more if they are enamored with Griffin. The Rams can trade with the Browns and then have their pick between Kalil and Blackmon at 4, plus additional picks. Or they can trade down to the Redskins and take Alshon Jeffery. Or if Luck/Kalil become the automatic 1-2, then why are you going to convince the Vikings to trade with you over the higher 1st of Cle, Was, Mia, or potentially KC? They already have a headstart on you with value for a 1st round pick and sometimes it’s most important for a team to get a player they fall in love with, which means that there’s nothing you can do to overcome Cle or Washingtons offer, if they made one.
It’s early yet, but as of 1/11/2012, I’d say the cards are stacked against Seattle, but what happens between now and the Draft?? Matt Flynn and Peyton Manning could find new homes.
follow @casetines
by Kenneth Arthur on Jan 11, 2012 2:38 PM PST up reply actions
Very mush in agreement with the deck stacked against us and much can happen leading to the draft.
My post was more pointing to the numerical possibility we posses to move up that high. Hell we may not view him as a top 5 or many of the other teams. Fun few months to monitor to the draft.
"Certainly there is no hunting like the hunting of man and those who have hunted armed men long enough and liked it, never really care for anything else thereafter." - Ernest Hemingway
Agreed. Pulled the words out of my mouth.
If we are to have a decent shot at RG3, we need Holmgren to fall in love with another Matt from GB. (or Shanahan, but I see this as less likely) And then somehow be the first to the 3rd pick “altar”, bouquet in hand.
I cannot get over how DREAMY Griffin would be for the Seahawks. He’s already led a mediocre team to greatness. We’re defiantly more fine tuned than Baylor. This city CRAVES the star power and leadership that he would bring.
How much can we trade that Miami possibily can't?
"You are the molders of their dreams." - Clark Mollenhoff
I think our hope lies more in "won't" than "can't"
hope hope hope. Expecting to be disappointed again.
OR, I know, OR...
No one expects to to actually make the jump, we’ve been written off the map all together. Everyone figures we’ll take Quinton Couples, that is, if they even remember that Seattle has a team.
Then WHAM- we give the Vikings some zany controversial trade that is talked about with hysterical polarity till opening day.
Griffin starts and leads the Seahawks to massacre the Patriots in the CLink. Our defense holds on tough, and Griffin throws for 370 yards and 4 td’s. ESPN is rocked to it’s very core. The game is written off as a fluke.
The road game at San Francisco is tough, the defenses forcing a lot of 3 and outs. It’s a field position game. Our sleeper 3rd round OLB/blitz monster devours Alex Smith. Griffin leads the boys down the field with 1:45 left to go. He hooks up with Doug Baldwin on a 40 yard post in the final minute to seal the win. This second game is especially relevant because the 49ers are Super Bowl champs. The Seahawks have become contenders, we’re the fashionable team for Trent Dilfer to talk about.
The rest is history. Everyone crowns JS as the wisest man to ever walk the VMAC. Many who laughed at the Vikings trade begin to deny ever saying such a thing. The Seahawks begin a long tradition of going deep into the playoffs with 3 super bowl rings over 7 years.
and then I woke up.
by Chooch82 on Jan 11, 2012 7:36 PM PST up reply actions 1 recs
"Can't means won't-- and won't means fifty pushups"
—shams’ middle school wrestling coach
"The time has come," the Walrus said, "to talk of many things."
Chart outdated
Under the old CBA, top picks wore worth less due to the long negotiations/missed OTAs & Camps/high guaranteed money (see Curry rookie deal). High second round picks were worth more because they avoided the guaranteed money and included guys that would be hungry to get the big contract.
With the new CBA in place, high picks are now worth more, so the old chart is outdated and you would likely have to pay more than in previous years to move up.
by Garon Galloway on Jan 11, 2012 3:04 PM PST up reply actions
Even when the chart came out it was just a starting place to measure value as percieved at the time.
It wasn’t the bible. Everyone views picks differently and the draft’s prospects within a draft will alter how each pick is valued year by year.
"Certainly there is no hunting like the hunting of man and those who have hunted armed men long enough and liked it, never really care for anything else thereafter." - Ernest Hemingway
The chart was instituted well before rookie contracts were expensive
It was initially developed in the late 80s and early 90s, before free agency, when high draft picks would have been much more valuable than they are today.
by Greetings from the Lord Humongous! on Jan 11, 2012 4:40 PM PST up reply actions
This was a good read, thanks!
but sanchez and cable are not exactly in the same league with the other pictures, unless you have different tastes….
Cleavage, cleavage, cleavage, cleavage, Cable cleavage - wait, what the hell?
Heresy grows from idleness.
Why get Matt Flynn?
"Also, for what it’s worth, if we get Flynn, New England and Detroit are on the schedule!" - SSreporters
by Corax --Nevermore-- on Jan 11, 2012 2:28 PM PST reply actions
And they're spectacular!
by bigtrain21 on Jan 11, 2012 3:49 PM PST via Android app up reply actions 2 recs
That explains
The back surgery this year. Those Tatas were making his back hurt!
Live work and breathe like an optimist.
Kenneth- Do you have an author you emulate or get inspiration from? I have never read anything like what you do and I love it.
"Certainly there is no hunting like the hunting of man and those who have hunted armed men long enough and liked it, never really care for anything else thereafter." - Ernest Hemingway
Thanks very much.
I think I probably draw from a lot of inspirations growing up and writers that I currently follow that make me want to do better, like Jeff Sullivan and Jon Bois right here on SBN for example.
follow @casetines
by Kenneth Arthur on Jan 11, 2012 2:41 PM PST up reply actions
Jeff's propaganda post about Prince Fielder was probably the most genius thing I've seen. Ever.
Always up for some Twitter action @nandron. I only talk NW sports, though.
Awesome article, I agree
Read the whole thing to my wife. Then asked her if she wanted a Colts cheerleader outfit for her birthday.
I like how Kenny visited "PrettyWomenPhotos.com" to find a Jacksonville Jaguars cheerleader.
Nice research, Ken.
by Danny Kelly on Jan 11, 2012 2:52 PM PST reply actions 2 recs
Just think of all the other countless websites he had to scour over, finding just the right shot
Talk about dedication
by B.B.Finnegan on Jan 11, 2012 3:45 PM PST up reply actions
Well I just got lucky that PrettyWomenPhotos also netted me the Sanchez pic.
follow @casetines
by Kenneth Arthur on Jan 11, 2012 4:59 PM PST up reply actions 1 recs
Dude, too mean!
Poor Mark’s had a hard day already. No doubt Rex Ryan is giving him warm milk and tucking him in for the night even now.
Humour, draft talk and boobies. Have you been reading my dream journal?
Really good read Ken, always enjoy your work
If the Rams were to take him they could get away from Bradford's monster contract.
He would be a “give-away” with his bad stats and huge contract. No more than Curry I would think.
I should have probably noted this in the article just so I had it documented somewhere other than comments sections...
Sam Bradford has basically already been paid. The cost between him and Luck going forward is going to be almost equal.
follow @casetines
by Kenneth Arthur on Jan 11, 2012 4:17 PM PST up reply actions
O/T: Looks like Fisher is leaning towards Miami
Rams might get left at the altar.
"The time has come," the Walrus said, "to talk of many things."
"I've left a 5% possibility for a shocking team to swoop on the Baylor QB that's lookin' for love in all the Pro places."
Suck on that!
follow @casetines
by Kenneth Arthur on Jan 11, 2012 4:45 PM PST up reply actions
You can't blame me for losing interest after the Nacho pic.
by the other side on Jan 11, 2012 4:52 PM PST up reply actions
I figured you left 5% for the Vikings.
You know, since you FORGOT THEM.
Now go find me pic of some hot Nordic/Swedish bikini girl in purple!
70% of space is covered by dark matter, the rest by ET.
I didn't forget anybody.
They are a 0% that I just decided didn’t warrant mentioning. Though I’m sure their cheerleaders beg to differ.
follow @casetines
by Kenneth Arthur on Jan 11, 2012 6:16 PM PST up reply actions
Would've been worth it, some of those young women are smokin'!
Hell, I don’t even need analysis to accompany them, just:
WHY: They won’t
WHY NOT: See above
CHANCES: 0%
Long suffering, committed Seahawks/Packers fan
Cleveland
I’d go to Cleveland just for that cheerleader. HOT!
Redskins
Although the chick from Washington looks to be somewhat more “accomodating” …….
I had a nice wood going until Cable popped up.
My mind suddenly exploded, and I now I suffer from nightmares and erectile dysfunction. Thanks a lot Kenneth!
And good article.
"You are the molders of their dreams." - Clark Mollenhoff
by EequalsMc2 on Jan 11, 2012 6:57 PM PST reply actions 1 recs
The Jags girl is the hottest in my arrogant opinion
don’t know why, she doesn’t have the……. “healthiest” chest.
Do or do not, there is no try-Yoda
Also this post makes me really wish Barkely was going to the NFL
Do or do not, there is no try-Yoda
by ironheart777 on Jan 11, 2012 7:11 PM PST up reply actions
Question regarding draft trades
If, say, the Seahawks wanted to make a move to #3 in the draft and made a trade offer to Minnesota, how aware would other teams be of this? My question I guess, is would Minnesota report our trade offer to other teams and see if anyone can beat that offer? Or are draft trades just such a big deal that it can’t be a secret and other teams naturally find out? Just curious for this discussion!
This thread is why I hate cheerleader pics on the site.
by Benne on Jan 11, 2012 9:35 PM PST reply actions 2 recs
Why can't we have tons of good articles but also a little cheesecake thrown in?
"The time has come," the Walrus said, "to talk of many things."
Football is, or rather should be, the last vestige of tribalism.
Ta-tas and tribalism are the most natural fit in the world.
"The time has come," the Walrus said, "to talk of many things."
I can think of a more natural fit...
…if you know what I mean. Nudge, nudge, wink, wink, what, what.
"That's funny. I post here all the time and I never see (you) here."
- GreatGoogly, to John Morgan
"John Morgan IS Field Gulls, asshole!"
Google is two seconds away for your ta-tas.
Also “ta-tas” is a stupid term and if you’re older than 12 you should be ashamed.
Ok.
I’ll just continue feeling ashamed until you tell me I can come out from the corner.
"The time has come," the Walrus said, "to talk of many things."
In 1982, actor David Keith popularized the term
With his reference to “bodacious ta-ta’s” in An Officer and a Gentleman.
He was 28 at the time, and went on to have a long & distinguished career, with performances in Red-Blooded American Girl II, Bottoms Up and, of course Clown Hunt. There is nothing to be ashamed of in following in the witticisms of such an American institution as Mr. Keith, whose only character flaw is his sad devotion to the Dallas Cowboys*.
*It should be noted that the Cowboys themselves became popular in no small part due to their cheerleader squad, of whom each and every one has that phenomenon known as “ta-ta’s.”
by Buster! on Jan 12, 2012 12:36 AM PST up reply actions 3 recs
Breast Cancer Foundation:
70% of space is covered by dark matter, the rest by ET.
by hazbro24 on Jan 12, 2012 9:29 AM PST up reply actions 1 recs
I understand what you're saying. Wasn't doing it for page hits though.
Some 5 months of writing for the site, first post that contained cheerleaders. I had my reasons and I don’t need hits.
follow @casetines
by Kenneth Arthur on Jan 11, 2012 10:09 PM PST up reply actions
I thought it was hilarious
As well as being informative.
Great use of humor having Cable as the Seahawks representative after having cheerleaders for all the other teams.
Nice work Kenneth as usual.
by bigtrain21 on Jan 11, 2012 10:18 PM PST via Android app up reply actions
Setting up the Tom Cable gag was worth it.
How come you can do all this other great shit, but you can't lie the fuck down and sleep?
Considering the
piece is a NFL Draft meets the dating game spoof it’s kind of hilarious.
It’s a nice reminder that we’re obsessing grown men playing a children’s game that we maybe take a bit too seriously.
70% of space is covered by dark matter, the rest by ET.
by hazbro24 on Jan 12, 2012 9:28 AM PST up reply actions 1 recs
I really like RGIII
Ive watched the guy a bit, and he seems like a really good, humble kid. Which by the way is the exact opposite feeling I get from Luck.
I think a kid like that can learn. Not sure how fast. He’s probably not going to be a Drew Brees or Tom Brady, but I dont think anyone is expecting him to. Lets face it, comparing a guy to Mike Vick, your settin the bar pretty low. Remember, Mike Vick had alot of scandal around him BEFORE he got imprisoned. Dont think your going to have that with RGIII wearin superman socks.
Whatever team he ends up on, I hope he does well and I’m almost sure he will. I really like the kid.
I didn't compare him to Michael Vick in any possible way other than being an athletic quarterback.
follow @casetines
by Kenneth Arthur on Jan 12, 2012 8:20 AM PST up reply actions
Stop being racist, Kenneth.
I've got ridiculous upside.
-
Follow @JacsonBevens
by Jacson Bevens on Jan 12, 2012 10:23 AM PST up reply actions
We're talking about this guy, right?
by Greetings from the Lord Humongous! on Jan 12, 2012 11:40 AM PST up reply actions
<3
I've got ridiculous upside.
-
Follow @JacsonBevens
by Jacson Bevens on Jan 12, 2012 12:22 PM PST up reply actions
Look, just because I have the same skin color as Gary Busey
Doesn’t mean we have the same skill set. Stop profiling me.
I've got ridiculous upside.
-
Follow @JacsonBevens
by Jacson Bevens on Jan 12, 2012 10:38 AM PST up reply actions
I can totally see you as the P.I. in "The Firm".
"The time has come," the Walrus said, "to talk of many things."
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