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Field Gulls Preposterous Statement Tournament

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A Washington native, I am currently living in Minnesota and occasionally listen to the local sports-talk radio station, KFAN. One of their hosts, Dan Cole, is currently hosting a Preposterous Comment Tournament (the fourth annual) for statements made in 2011. Check out the entire bracket here.

One of my favorites comes from former Redskins QB Mark Rypien regarding Lingerie Football: "Yeah, they're out there in their bra and panties and they're playing football. But once that first snap happens and they start smacking each other around, you lose sight of all that and you're looking at the technical aspects of the game." (In Rypien's defense, his daughter is apparently a QB for one of the teams, and, you know, he's trying to be supportive. Or something.)

Relevant for Seahawks fans, the Seattle Seahawks organization has an official entry in this year's tourney.

The format for KFAN's tourney is as follows:

First Round: Which statement is more preposterous?

#7--CHRIS HAWKEY: said there was an 'Electric Atmosphere' at the Gophers' Spring Game

#10--SEATTLE SEAHAWKS: elected Tarvaris Jackson as their captain and dubbed him 'Captain Composure'

As for the Chris Hawkey statement, I have no idea who he is, but given the sorry state of Minnesota football, it's hard to believe that there was much electricity in Spring Game. Still, compared to many of the other entries, this is a yawner.

As for Tarvaris "Captain Composure" Jackson, turns out it's true. And unless one is willing to attribute the concept of "composure" to Jackson's penchant for holding onto the ball for vast stretches of time while the pocket collapses around him, I think we have a damn good shot at a 10-7 upset here.

Now here's where this comes to bear on our FG community. I first came to FGs nearly a year ago when I was snagged by the combination of humor, attention to detail, and insight from people who have watched, read, and listened to a lot of tape & analysis. On the way to the excellent insight we see here, whether in FG discussion threads, press conferences, television, or out in the interwebs, the writers and readers of FGs are also sure to encounter a significant number of preposterous comments. I propose that we honor the most galling and outlandish NFL related comments of the year with our own Field Gulls Preposterous Statement Tournament.

There's no better time to start collecting statements than the present. Here's why: For one, until the combine finishes out, we're in a major football news lull. This presents a good opportunity to play catch-up and pull out some gems from January. Secondly, with the draft and the associated punditry, we're entering a target rich environment. Last, it's important that I have at least three reasons to get things off the ground here.

I'm excited about this idea not so much because I have a stock pile of preposterous statements looking for a home (I don't), but because of the massive potential of the FG faithful to point out egregious statements from talking heads and (with love) one another over the next 10.5 months.

The ground rules are simple: Statements must be NFL related, verifiable online, and completely preposterous.

If this sounds like fun, post statements below made in Jan/Feb of 2012, and I'll post occasional reminders to add to the list. After the year is up, I'll seed the statements, and we'll have our very own Preposterous Statement Tourney via fan voting after the Super Bowl wraps up in 2013.

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Oh, and Happy Valentines Day everybody!

And yes, I have plans in addition to making this FanPost, thank-you-very-much.

It was just intense, and it was ball, and it was juice. The juice level in that room was high, and it was awesome.

by mister bunny on Feb 14, 2012 5:10 PM PST reply actions  

Nuh uh. That's preposterous.

70% of space is covered by dark matter, the rest by ET.

by hazbro24 on Feb 14, 2012 6:34 PM PST up reply actions  

I'm just glad I dodged this response

in reference to my Valentines Day plans. Close one.

It was just intense, and it was ball, and it was juice. The juice level in that room was high, and it was awesome.

by mister bunny on Feb 14, 2012 7:01 PM PST up reply actions  

Captain Composure is completely accurate

There isn’t another QB in the league who is more composed in the pocket when it completely breaks down. He is looking downfield the entire time. But he is also “Captain Oblivious” when it comes to pressure.

It takes a big man to admit when he's wrong. I am NOT a big man.

by SGT Lenny on Feb 14, 2012 10:13 PM PST via mobile reply actions  

When composure of this variety meet obliviousness,

the result is what many call, “freezing up” or “deer in the headlights.”

Composure, to me, means not panicking so that you can make the correct play. Tarvaris is scared to make a mistake, which is different.

It was just intense, and it was ball, and it was juice. The juice level in that room was high, and it was awesome.

by mister bunny on Feb 15, 2012 8:39 AM PST up reply actions  

I'm confused.

Are we making up our own preposterous statements or looking for other’s?

"You are the molders of their dreams." - Clark Mollenhoff

by EequalsMc2 on Feb 14, 2012 10:54 PM PST reply actions  

Others.

We keep our eyes peeled for preposterous statements that are football related and the OP will gather them all and set up a bracket at the end of the 2013 season.

by Jason X USN on Feb 15, 2012 4:26 AM PST up reply actions  

Bingo.

It was just intense, and it was ball, and it was juice. The juice level in that room was high, and it was awesome.

by mister bunny on Feb 15, 2012 8:35 AM PST up reply actions  

We should NOT be allowed to use any pundits from ESPN, particularly if they are on Around the Horn, PTI, or any other shows of that ilk.

They make preposterous statements daily, it would be too easy.

I've put away the whiskey and the chainsaw and gone responsible. I'd like to say "Danny Kelly made me do it!" but that would be a lie. I chose to shave, put on a suit and tie and pretend I'm more important than I really am...

by Tyler Jorgensen on Feb 20, 2012 2:34 PM PST up reply actions  

This will be fun.

People say so many…er, preposterous…things!

Bite the wax tadpole.

by Chirp on Feb 15, 2012 7:55 AM PST reply actions  

Rec'd

If not for the very cool idea so for the pairing of the words Preposterous and Tournament.

Confuscius say- "Baseball wrong. Man with four balls cannot walk."

by Outside Contain on Feb 15, 2012 9:25 AM PST reply actions  

Tjack's picture is a perfect failed stiffarm

IMMA GRAB A FEW INCHES O’YO’ FACEMASK THEN GO DOWN YEAH BABY

Heresy grows from idleness.
Why get Matt Flynn?
"Also, for what it’s worth, if we get Flynn, New England and Detroit are on the schedule!" - SSreporters

by Corax --Nevermore-- on Feb 15, 2012 9:47 PM PST reply actions  

Also, did anyone else totally NOT think about football 'snaps' when they read Rypien's statement?

For some reason, I was thinking about…..snaps…and bras…and ladies going at it….not in a football sense at all.
HAZBRO I CURSE YOU

Heresy grows from idleness.
Why get Matt Flynn?
"Also, for what it’s worth, if we get Flynn, New England and Detroit are on the schedule!" - SSreporters

by Corax --Nevermore-- on Feb 15, 2012 9:50 PM PST reply actions  

what 'd I have to do with it?

Yeah, I watched half of the LFL bowl. Those girls are serious man. And scantily clothed.

You just wait and see how many women start watching football when the NFL figures out that LFL uniforms are how to fix their concussion problem.

70% of space is covered by dark matter, the rest by ET.

by hazbro24 on Feb 16, 2012 2:21 PM PST up reply actions  

I'd like to direct everyone's attention to Mark Schlereth.

He could lock down an entire region of this tournament.

by jhmg16 on Feb 16, 2012 10:22 AM PST reply actions  

I love that idea.

We do need regional representatives. John Madden isn’t saying much these days, but he might earn an emeritus region. Gruden is also a repeat offender.

It was just intense, and it was ball, and it was juice. The juice level in that room was high, and it was awesome.

by mister bunny on Feb 16, 2012 1:09 PM PST up reply actions  

Two word:

Skip Base-less.

...and if a frog had wings, it wouldn't bump it's ass when it hopped.

by Side Effects on Feb 16, 2012 10:49 PM PST up reply actions  

It wasn't within the last year, so I think I'm safe, but I wrote the following immediately after the 2009 draft:

“Curry gives the ’hawks one of the best young linebacking corps in football.”

Whoops. No more Curry, no more Lofa….well, at least we’ve still got Hill.

by thebyron on Feb 18, 2012 6:18 PM PST reply actions   1 recs

I found our first one for the Seahawks... uttered in an earlier thread by Cashless.

“I’d argue that Sherman’s potential could make him the greatest corner ever. Just talking pure potential.” —Cashless

I've put away the whiskey and the chainsaw and gone responsible. I'd like to say "Danny Kelly made me do it!" but that would be a lie. I chose to shave, put on a suit and tie and pretend I'm more important than I really am...

by Tyler Jorgensen on Feb 20, 2012 3:01 PM PST reply actions   1 recs

NICE.

Statement is verified and confirmed. You may have put away the whiskey, but you’ve still got some chainsaw in you. Congratulations on going down in the annals of history for contributing the first entry into the Field Gulls Preposterous Statement Tournament.

Please note: The annals of history in this instance may be easily confused with the anals of history. But being the first contributor is a nice distinction none-the-less.

It was just intense, and it was ball, and it was juice. The juice level in that room was high, and it was awesome.

by mister bunny on Feb 20, 2012 5:44 PM PST up reply actions  

I would willingly defend this statement.

But I’d rather accept the honor of being first. Thank you for putting me there.

by cashless on Feb 25, 2012 10:39 AM PST up reply actions  

Two more entries from the Peyton Manning: Rumors, Intrigue Galore thread.

“Peyton is if anything underrated.” – attitudeof1

And on the other end of the spectrum…

“Signing Peyton Manning would be a desperate act.” – Patches Pal

It was just intense, and it was ball, and it was juice. The juice level in that room was high, and it was awesome.

by mister bunny on Feb 20, 2012 7:12 PM PST reply actions   1 recs

I saw both those and thought of them too.

I can’t wait until someone gets me up here…

I've put away the whiskey and the chainsaw and gone responsible. I'd like to say "Danny Kelly made me do it!" but that would be a lie. I chose to shave, put on a suit and tie and pretend I'm more important than I really am...

by Tyler Jorgensen on Feb 20, 2012 8:52 PM PST up reply actions  

"I've put away the whiskey..."

so sayeth Tyler J

Smashmouth is the new sexy!

by pqlqi on Feb 20, 2012 11:47 PM PST up reply actions   1 recs

At least DURING the week... MOST days.

it’s tough to drink daily AND work for a living…

I've put away the whiskey and the chainsaw and gone responsible. I'd like to say "Danny Kelly made me do it!" but that would be a lie. I chose to shave, put on a suit and tie and pretend I'm more important than I really am...

by Tyler Jorgensen on Feb 23, 2012 12:49 AM PST up reply actions  

I've been doing it since I was 12. It's an art really.

70% of space is covered by dark matter, the rest by ET.

by hazbro24 on Feb 23, 2012 2:13 PM PST up reply actions  

It's going to help as people see references made (like yours) in other threads.

Thanks for cranking up the publicity machine.

It was just intense, and it was ball, and it was juice. The juice level in that room was high, and it was awesome.

by mister bunny on Feb 21, 2012 5:28 AM PST up reply actions  

this one was preposterous

Tarvaris is not an adequate backup quarterback in the NFL. As a starter, he is among the worst players at his position in the history of the league- Pacificsands

he must have never seen Joey Harrington play

by Oliudyen on Feb 22, 2012 9:15 AM PST reply actions   2 recs

Thanks!

It was just intense, and it was ball, and it was juice. The juice level in that room was high, and it was awesome.

by mister bunny on Feb 22, 2012 3:45 PM PST up reply actions  

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