Seattle Seahawks: Each Game in a Picture
by Kenneth Arthur on Feb 16, 2012 10:20 AM PST
in Seahawks Game Recaps
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PrintThey say that a picture says a thousand words. They also say that Eddie Murphy says A Thousand Words in his new hit comedy, coming soon to a theater near you. **SBN Editor pulls gun away from back of my head**
It's the off-season, which means that it's a time for reflection. A time to remember the season and learn from it and never forget exactly how the Seahawks wound up at 7-9. A time... well, come on... it's a time for me to think of shit to write when there aren't any games.
But this is a fun exercise because it was easy to write (about 15 words plus this) and it's really easy for you to read. Even if you don't speak English, you can understand this article. Well, not this part. Or this part. But the pictures part. You don't have to read a picture, because it says a thousand words. Why do you think I watch movies and don't read books?
Seattle played 16 games. They won almost half of them. They lost the rest. As best I could, here is each game in a single picture. I can't wait to hear you tell me how much of an idiot I am for choosing this picture and not that picture.
Just remember that the following takes about 18 seconds. It took me a lot more than 18 seconds to make it so I hope it's mildly enjoyable.
Week 1 @San Francisco 49ers
Week 2: @Pittsburgh Steelers
Week 3: Arizona Cardinals
Week 4: Atlanta Falcons
Week 5: @New York Giants
(If I could have asked God for just one picture from this game, it would have been Doug Baldwin telling the Giants fans "Shhhh")
Week 7: @Cleveland Browns
Week 8: Cincinnati Bengals
Week 9 @ Dallas Cowboys
Week 10: Baltimore Ravens
Week 11: @St. Louis Rams
Week 12: Washington Redskins
Week 13: Philadelphia Eagles
Week 14: St. Louis Rams
Week 15: @Chicago Bears
Week 16: San Francisco 49ers
(They're sweeping Skittles, by the way)
Week 17: @Arizona Cardinals
Follow me on Twitter and check out my website. Please? I'm almost at 300 followers. Do you know how many readers Field Gulls has? A lot more than 300. To be fair, I don't tweet about Seahawks nearly as much as Danny @FieldGulls. I've written more words now about myself than I have about the Seahawks. My bad.
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This was amazing. Seriously.
Also – SBN will put a pasty, bulgy, out of shape hairy dude all over their page but wouldn’t endorse a (new) Eddie Murphy movie. We’re not all sellouts, alright?
Am I crazy for wanting to see it?
Not even because of Eddie, but it’s an interesting concept. Perhaps his “Liar, Liar”
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by Kenneth Arthur on Feb 16, 2012 10:48 AM PST up reply actions
I love Eddie Murphy actually.
Thought he was brilliant in Bowfinger, honestly. I bought a Bowfinger shirt, not kidding. His recent movies have just been really bad, mostly.
by Danny Kelly on Feb 16, 2012 11:00 AM PST up reply actions
I love him, but can't think of the last time he chose a good project. Get a new agent, or something.
I need to re-watch Bowfinger.
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by Kenneth Arthur on Feb 16, 2012 11:08 AM PST up reply actions
This is essential reading if you guys are Eddie fans. Probably one of Simmons' best pieces.
by jhmg16 on Feb 16, 2012 12:37 PM PST up reply actions 1 recs
I take issue with him saying that Little Nicky is worse than any other Eddie Murphy movie and Adam Sandler movie.
It’s the most watchable Sandler movie of all of Sandler’s “Bombs”.
Also, he called the Pujols contract? Hmmm.
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by Kenneth Arthur on Feb 16, 2012 1:16 PM PST up reply actions
To be honest.
It’s stupid… but, I’ve seen it like 10 times because it’s just classic Sandler. If he didn’t do a crazy voice throughout, it would have been a hit.
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by Kenneth Arthur on Feb 16, 2012 1:26 PM PST up reply actions
And citing box office numbers as a measure of success?
I suppose Tyler Perry is the greatest black comedian (or any comedian) of the last 5 years.
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by Kenneth Arthur on Feb 16, 2012 1:25 PM PST up reply actions
It's been a while since I read that
But isn’t the focus of the article is on the rise and fall of his popularity rather than his talent? Murphy’s viability as a commercially successful leading man?
It’s a classic Simmons thinkpiece, he likes to put things into neat boxes and will run an analogy into the ground, and then all the way through to China. But I thought it was a nice retrospective for people like me who basically weren’t old enough to appreciate him in his prime.
Yeah, I actually think it's a good article. Overall, a very good piece that puts his 80s into perspective.
And there’s nothing against Eddie turning family-oriented to “make paper” at a time when people were just throwing gobs of cash at him. But Eddie Murphy has still not been funny (in public) for a very long time.
It really sucks that he won’t do SNL, stand-up, guest spots… look at Chevy Chase and how he resurrected his career on Community (or at least kept himself funny long after anyone thought he was). I do wish Murphy would do the same, but I also wonder if it’s like LeBron not doing dunk contests because he thinks that he’ll only disappoint. (My opinion on the dunk contest is that guys like Lebron and Kobe “cant win” because so much is expected of them, so they just let the myth of their dunking abilities do the talking. Not that they technically can’t win, but that they’d only disappoint, whereas instead we get no-names that have nowhere to go but up.) Eddie Murphy refusing to do anything other than a certain kind of movie still makes me wonder if he CAN do anything other than a certain kind of movie.
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by Kenneth Arthur on Feb 16, 2012 3:55 PM PST up reply actions
The dude WROTE Norbit
It’s not his agent making bad decisions for him…
by B.B.Finnegan on Feb 16, 2012 1:37 PM PST up reply actions
Thank you.
It has been brutal watching his career go from one of the funniest comedians on the planet, to Norbit.
I think at this point, his only hope to salvage some semblance of his former brilliance is to convince Quentin Tarantino to cast him in his next project.
...and if a frog had wings, it wouldn't bump it's ass when it hopped.
by Side Effects on Feb 16, 2012 11:13 PM PST up reply actions
He was great in his 80's stand up.
Maybe he should go back to doing that.
It's Great To Be a Florida Gator!
by Wayward Llama on Feb 17, 2012 4:04 AM PST up reply actions
The problem is everything he was successful at in the 80s
stand up (over the top vulgarity, sexually explicit humor, making fun of “retards” and “homos”), movies (very successful and funny as a black man with an attitude taking what belongs to him), music (“my girl wants to party all the time”) have been superceded by individuals who were funnier, more talented, better looking, or more extreme by far than Eddie. I still will watch BHC and 48 hours any time I come across them, and his SNL skits are great, but I just think his time as a comedian/comedic actor has passed. I also think he is so financially successful, he is not hungry anymore, and that probably snuffs out any chance to do something that requires more than showing up and being a voice or that stretches anything he was doing 30 years ago. The only revival I could see is if he decided to do serious drama and was actually good at it…
Smashmouth is the new sexy!
by pqlqi on Feb 17, 2012 8:57 AM PST up reply actions 1 recs
I have never seen Dreamgirls, but didn't Eddie already show he could do serious drama?
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by Kenneth Arthur on Feb 17, 2012 9:09 AM PST up reply actions
Hey bro I got like 120 uninterrupted minutes of hand-holding with my 8/10 girlfriend out of that.
Don’t be jelly.
I hope she knows you rate her an 8 out of 10.
Girls really love to hear stuff like that.
"The time has come," the Walrus said, "to talk of many things."
This is how almost all comedians work.
You break ground and are revered for doing so, making people double over in laughter, but you’ve now set the bar. It then means that the next wave of comedians have to set a new bar and break new ground.
Louis CK is the funniest man in the world, but 6 years from now, it will probably be somebody else. But won’t take away from what he did.
It’s like for some people, watching Arrested Development now for the first time, they don’t find it as funny as when it originally aired, because every hilarious show today copied from AD.
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by Kenneth Arthur on Feb 17, 2012 9:11 AM PST up reply actions
If he has ever said something funny it hasn't gotten back to me.
"The time has come," the Walrus said, "to talk of many things."
The thing that annoys me about Dane Cook is that, like, he does make me laugh.
But it’s in exactly the same way that all of my best friends make me laugh. Just stupid guy bullshit that anybody could go up on stage and reproduce.
Would prefer
A pic of the phantom block in the back on Leon’s return from the Cincy (Cleveland?) game… Other than that this is an awesome post.
by BiNgOsHaDo on Feb 16, 2012 5:04 PM PST via mobile reply actions
Unfortunately, nobody knows how to take a picture of something that doesn't exist.
I considered putting up a picture of Leon returning the punt, but that doesn’t really capture the game, does it? It gives the wrong impression. I considered a ref throwing a flag, but if it’s not from the actual game, I wasn’t going to use it. So, there you have it. I actually think that the picture I DID use, could have been used as the “picture to define the season.” Our offenses best player, just standing there in total disbelief as to what’s going on around him. (Best outside of Okung)
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by Kenneth Arthur on Feb 17, 2012 8:12 AM PST up reply actions
And we partially lost that game because Lynch was ruled inactive just before the game, so it symbolizes him, without a helmet, helpless as to what he could do.
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by Kenneth Arthur on Feb 17, 2012 8:14 AM PST up reply actions
I totally understand the pic.
I understand the reason you picked it. I just think back on that game and the first thing I remember is that play. I remember that single play wins us the game. Didn’t mean to offend though. I meant it when I said I thought this was an awesome post. I think you should do it for every year after the season.
Oh, not offended. I thought the same thing, but literally... couldn't find a picture that really captured that moment as it should be.
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by Kenneth Arthur on Feb 17, 2012 11:22 AM PST up reply actions
Perhaps a pic of other things that don't exist?
Cryptids are fun, for example.
"The time has come," the Walrus said, "to talk of many things."
Too bad he can only kick 64 yd field goals in practice
Heresy grows from idleness.
Why get Matt Flynn?
"Also, for what it’s worth, if we get Flynn, New England and Detroit are on the schedule!" - SSreporters
by Corax --Nevermore-- on Feb 16, 2012 8:10 PM PST up reply actions
Week 10 vs the Ravens
Is all about that juke Beef put on Ray. I like to think it was the shame of that move that landed Ray Ray on the inactive list for the following weeks.
...and if a frog had wings, it wouldn't bump it's ass when it hopped.
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