What? Seattle picks 12th? That's preposterous. Actually, it isn't, Seahawks fans. It's true. Beekers cannot tell a lie.
The fact of the matter is that some statements we wish were preposterous, aren't, and vice versa. This is why we need the Preposterous Statement Tournament.
In case you missed the original post in this series, the basics of the tournament are rehashed after my fake jump. (I know, the fake jump concept is preposterous.) But don't despair! An official list of our first nominations awaits you after the actual jump.
*** (fake jump) ***
A Washington native, I am currently living in Minnesota and occasionally listen to the local sports-talk radio station, KFAN. One of their hosts, Dan Cole, is currently hosting a Preposterous Comment Tournament (the fourth annual) for statements made in 2011. Check out the entire bracket here.
One of my favorites comes from former Redskins QB Mark Rypien regarding Lingerie Football: "Yeah, they're out there in their bra and panties and they're playing football. But once that first snap happens and they start smacking each other around, you lose sight of all that and you're looking at the technical aspects of the game." (In Rypien's defense, his daughter is apparently a QB for one of the teams, and, you know, he's trying to be supportive. Or something.)
Relevant for Seahawks fans, the Seattle Seahawks organization has an official entry in this year's tourney.
The format for KFAN's tourney is as follows:
First Round: Which statement is more preposterous?
#7--CHRIS HAWKEY: said there was an 'Electric Atmosphere' at the Gophers' Spring Game
#10--SEATTLE SEAHAWKS: elected Tarvaris Jackson as their captain and dubbed him 'Captain Composure'
As for the Chris Hawkey statement, I have no idea who he is, but given the sorry state of Minnesota football, it's hard to believe that there was much electricity in Spring Game. Still, compared to many of the other entries, this is a yawner.
As for Tarvaris "Captain Composure" Jackson, turns out it's true. And unless one is willing to attribute the concept of "composure" to Jackson's penchant for holding onto the ball for vast stretches of time while the pocket collapses around him, I think we have a damn good shot at a 10-7 upset here.
Now here's where this comes to bear on our FG community. I first came to FGs nearly a year ago when I was snagged by the combination of humor, attention to detail, and insight from people who have watched, read, and listened to a lot of tape & analysis. On the way to the excellent insight we see here, whether in FG discussion threads, press conferences, television, or out in the interwebs, the writers and readers of FGs are also sure to encounter a significant number of preposterous comments. I propose that we honor the most galling and outlandish NFL related comments of the year with our own Field Gulls Preposterous Statement Tournament.
There's no better time to start collecting statements than the present. Here's why: For one, until the combine finishes out, we're in a major football news lull. This presents a good opportunity to play catch-up and pull out some gems from January. Secondly, with the draft and the associated punditry, we're entering a target rich environment. Last, it's important that I have at least three reasons to get things off the ground here.
I'm excited about this idea not so much because I have a stock pile of preposterous statements looking for a home (I don't), but because of the massive potential of the FG faithful to point out egregious statements from talking heads and (with love) one another over the next 10.5 months.
The ground rules are simple: Statements must be NFL related, verifiable online, and completely preposterous.
If this sounds like fun, post statements below made in Jan/Feb of 2012, and I'll post occasional reminders to add to the list. After the year is up, I'll seed the statements, and we'll have our very own Preposterous Statement Tourney via fan voting after the Super Bowl wraps up in 2013.
(That's it. The fake jump is dead, yo.)
There are two things we all need to know up front:
First, not every nomination will be selected as an entry in the tournament. So just because you find your handle down below, don't go telling everybody at work that you're an official entrant in the FG PST. Sorry. You'll have to wait until selection Sunday, one week after the Super Bowl in 2013 to know for sure. Because, who knows? Tarvaris could play like a hall of famer this year. Or he could put out a season that makes Dan McGuire look like a success story. Peyton Manning could lead some team to a Super Bowl victory, or he could go down in flames and be forced into early retirement. These are the things that make or break the statements found below.
Second, in all honesty there is nothing mean spirited about this tournament. Being nominated for an entry in the tournament is a deep honor. Hell, I hope I get nominated, but since I pretty much stick to the safe slopes (the bunny hills?) of making unfunny jokes and asking questions of the smart people around here, it's unlikely that I'll stumble into anything like what we see below. These are people who are risk takers, who aren't afraid to put themselves on the line. They are passionate, have opinions, and say things in print, on camera, or in comment threads that are unequivocal, and clarify the world of the NFL for us. Clarify, you say? Yes. On the journey toward selection Sunday next February, some people we think are making outlandish, unqualified, baseless statements can be proven to be Greg Cosell like prodigies. Others will be lifted up as the people who make football worth laughing in someone's face about. (But...uh...like I said, there's nothing mean spirited here.)
Thanks to those who have brought these nominations to my attention. Whether they come from FG threads, or from articles or talking heads, keep 'em coming!
1) "I’d argue that Sherman’s potential could make him the greatest corner ever. Just talking pure potential." – Cashless
2) "Peyton is if anything underrated." – attitudeof1
3) "Signing Peyton Manning would be a desperate act." – Patches Pal
4) Tarvaris is not an adequate backup quarterback in the NFL. As a starter, he is among the worst players at his position in the history of the league – Pacificsands