A Brief History of Seattle Sports, as Told by the Digital Age
1959: Restaurant owner David Cohn, starts the movement.
Seattle is open for business
December 20, 1967: Majority owners Sam Schulman and Eugene Klein are awarded Seattle's first major sports franchise.
1969: Seattle Pilots Become City's First Baseball Team!
September 12, 1976: Seahawks first game
April 6, 1977: Mariners First Game
1979: Sonics Win City's Only Professional Championship
1995: Edgar Saves Baseball
February 2, 1996: Ken Behring tries to move to the Seahawks.
July 15, 1999: First game in Safeco
March 26, 2000: Goodbye Kingdome
2002: First Season in Seahawks Stadium
2005: The Seahawks Go To the Super Bowl!
2006: The Sonics are sold to Oklahoma City businessman Clay Bennett.
June 2011: The Seahawks Home Stadium Suffers an Identity Crisis
Technology as it relates to the Seattle professional sports franchises as of today:
The Seattle Supersonics:
The Seattle Mariners
The Seattle Seahawks:
For more on my relationship with the information superhighway, follow me on Twitter or go check out my silly website.
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Oh my god this is brilliant, especially the Behring one
One of the best pieces of satire in Field Gulls history.
Read my tweets or whatever - @SSReporters
I was hoping this piece would never end.
by GasolineSnuggie on Feb 3, 2012 11:09 AM PST reply actions
It....
Never will end.
Roar! I'm a Dog!
by qwertyiopasdfghjklzxcvbnm on Feb 4, 2012 4:06 PM PST up reply actions
As a majority lurker I had to poke my head in and post on this one.
Excellent piece of satire. Too many good moments to mention one specifically, just all around brilliance. Excellent piece Kenneth, keep up the great work.
by Jason X USN on Feb 3, 2012 11:19 AM PST reply actions 2 recs
Kenneth
We are not worthy!!
(damn son that was really good)
by Redzone59 on Feb 3, 2012 11:23 AM PST via mobile reply actions
Dude Kenneth, love your work, but the absence of Sounders is unforgivable here
Especially since you could have done some great stuff with them dropping off the face of the earth when the league collapsed in 1985, then “reactivating their account” in 2009.
by Agent_J on Feb 3, 2012 11:29 AM PST reply actions 3 recs
Kenneth Man!
I love your stuff dude it’s always so funny and so enjoyable to read and this article was no different – had me in stitches whole way through! My favourite was definitely the Superbowl XL one but I thought the whole thing was great.
"Team not found"
As for the Seahawks, they shall have stars at elbow and foot...Though they sink through the sea they shall rise again...Death shall have no dominion.
Maybe i missed the connection to the walk-man
We at least contend each year should we not be a cd walk-man amongst the ipod that dominate the market?
by Dominic Matlock on Feb 3, 2012 12:22 PM PST reply actions
So yeah
This place is pretty great.
Well done indeed.
Confuscius say- "Baseball wrong. Man with four balls cannot walk."
This was gold!
nothing between 1979 and 1995… seems about right
by Eric Wedge's Mustache on Feb 3, 2012 2:23 PM PST reply actions
The Behring bit was a full on chuckle,
but I’m not getting the Atari and Walkman references.
70% of space is covered by dark matter, the rest by ET.
by hazbro24 on Feb 3, 2012 2:56 PM PST reply actions 1 recs
Freaking funny
Just wish you would’ve started it 40 years earlier, and included the Seattle Metropolitians, the first US team to win the Stanley Cup.
This is probably in poor taste… but for 1918 you could’ve had a clip of a trojan horse virus.
I should’ve just suggested a frown emoticon, but my mind always seems to wanna go one step too far.
The pic of Behring . . .
could have been of Boss Hog.
Seems appropriate.
One of the strangest and at the same time most amazing things I've seen.
All very good, but the Clay Bennett profile takes the cake.
It was just intense, and it was ball, and it was juice. The juice level in that room was high, and it was awesome.
CORTEZ KENNEDY MADE THE HALL!!!!
As for the Seahawks, they shall have stars at elbow and foot...Though they sink through the sea they shall rise again...Death shall have no dominion.

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