Pitchforks and Shotguns: My Mad Mock Draft

So there this Draft going on tomorrow. Maybe you guys have heard of it.

So what is with this title? It sounds like the most Video Gamey Name Ever.

I thought I could give the mock draft a go. This is generally based on my thoughts on what I believe the FO will pick, and when I say that, I'm thinking 'It's probably not going to be the ones people are really talking about as of this moment'. Well I digess, this mock draft is merely guesswork, then again, aren't all mock drafts that way? It would also be best if you didn't take it seriously, well until, all of these picks have been drafted by the Seahawks, and then I will be as famous as that octopus guy.

I hope my short reasoning's make sense. They probably won't.

You better get your preferred weapons of choice ready because boy this mock might not be pretty.

This mock draft is assuming that we trade down our 1st Round Pick to get a late 1st, 3rd and a 5th and a 7th (I can dream right? We tend to be super at picking 5th - besides Mark LeGree). So we have 9 draft picks to use. Funnily enough it would be the same number PC/JS used with the last 2 drafts.

And Here We.. Go!

Round 1: Coby Fleener... Jokes (You know who you are Mr. H)

Actual Round 1 Pick: Chandler Jones (Crowd Reaction: WHATTTTTTT WHO IS THIS GUY)

PC/JS really like people with ridiculous arm length (35.5 inch). Interesting specimen. Intriguing player.

Round 2: Lavonte David (Crowd Reaction: cool)

My favourite Linebacker of this draft. Please watch the tape. Size hopefully won't be an issue for this guy.

Round 3 Pick Ichi: Chris Polk (Crowd Reaction: PANTS ARE OFF YAYYYYYYY)

You all know him. You also probably know the shit o-line he had to deal with.

Round 3 Pick Deux: David Paulson (Crowd Reaction: ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhh boo Oregon)

"touchdown maker"? He visited us. I dunno. We need a legit TE#2 with the offence we run.

Round 4: Brandon Hardin (Crowd Reaction: But we already have someone named Brandon, is he a kicker?)

FUCKING BOOM BOOM FUCK YEAH Beast. Chiefs might say 'fuck you we wanted this player'. Brandon Browner was a former alumni.

Super Pick Of The Ages Round 5: Delano Howell [Crowd Reaction: I swear we have heard of this guy somewhere 'Luck chants']

Stanford guy. No college tape of him yet. I have faith in Stanford picks. He is a good player (because Doug Baldwin said so).


This is merely my guess of someone who drastically falls on draft day. Considered a first round pick by fellow SDB draft dude Rob Staton. Deep WR class (if size was the main factor), might as well make the most of it.

Round 7 Part Uno: Kellen Moore... Nope

Round 7 Part Uno: Ron Brooks (Crowd Reaction: Polite applause)

Because you can never have enough cornerbacks in this league.

Round 7 Part Zwei: Miles Burris (No crowd reaction: they are probably readying to beat the shit out of this blogger)

Beastly athletic speeeeeeeed beast. Also helps that Matt McCoy and Heath Farwell are former alumni of San Diego State.

The Round of the Undrafted:

Austin Davis: His throws remind me of Matt Flynn somehow. John Morgan explains.

Logan Harrell: Undersized DT Pass rush dude who can be Jason Jones primary backup.

Danny Trevathan: Cool name, linebacker, seems like a typical UFDA Schneider would pick.

Blair Walsh: Because fuck yeah, kickers.

Bryan Anger: Because fuck yeah, punters.

And others.

I'm just now going to hide in my secret hideout now.

See you in the draft threads!

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