Nearly two weeks ago, the Seattle Seahawks were eliminated from the 2012-2013 NFL season at the hands of the Atlanta Falcons in the Divisional round. It was a disappointing loss to be sure, but the future looks bright, with the Seahawks returning a lot of key contributors, and hopefully some added talent through free agency and the NFL draft. The sky is the ceiling for these Seahawks, a Super Bowl appearance a good possibility.
And I just got dumped by my girlfriend. However, as I do often do when my personal life is sucking, I turned my attention to the Seahawks. And the more and more I think about it, my last relationship had a lot of parallels with the Seahawks this year. I'd like to share that with you. All names have been changed.
The Seahawks signed Green Bay backup quarterback Matt Flynn in March of 2012 to a 3 year, 19.5 million dollar contract. It seemed like a wise signing, although there were a few red flags to the deal. Namely that he was unfamiliar with the West Coast Offense, and he had only really played when nothing was on the line. But to be named the starter for the Seahawks, all he had to do was beat out Tarvaris Jackson, and that seemed extremely likely for Flynn. But that all changed a month later.
On Friday, April 27, in the third round of the NFL draft, the Seahawks selected Wisconsin QB Russell Wilson. I'll admit it. I had never heard of him before. But then again, I don't invest a whole lot of attention to the draft. I leave that to the analysts. However, when it came to the analysts, it appeared the Seahawks had made a poor selection. Something akin to “The Seahawks must really like “The Lord of the Rings” based on their selection of Russell Wilson.”
In July of 2012, I was dating Sarah. She was a nice girl, and we got along well. We were simply just taking it slow, and seeing where things went. There was long term potential for us, but again, we were just taking it slow and letting things develop on their own.
In August of 2012, I meet Jane. And to say the least, Jane blew my socks off. I immediately liked her. Within two weeks of dating Jane, I stop seeing Sarah. Sarah was a nice girl, but when I compared both Jane and Sarah, it wasn't even close. Jane was an easy choice.
The Seahawks were 4-2 after week six, and things were looking good. The defense was performing at an elite level, but there were questions about who the Seahawks should be playing at quarterback. Some believed Russell Wilson deserved a longer tryout, being a rookie and all, and some believed he should be benched in favor of Matt Flynn, who would at least not commit the rookie mistakes Wilson was going through.
In the beginning of our relationship, things were going great, but Jane was a bit more restrained when it came to our future. We had a phrase, “Going to the moon” which we used when I lost my ever-loving mind and started talking about moving in, engagement, married, and babies after only a few months. She didn't get upset with me, but just annoyed, constantly saying, “Come back down to earth, Daniel.”
And then it got really bad for the Seahawks. They lost two straight games, and at 4-4, a playoff berth was now in serious jeopardy. They lost to the 49ers in San Francisco, which wasn't a huge shock, but the offense struggled mightily, scoring only 6 points. While the Seahawks had a great defense, the offense was nowhere to be found.
And when the Seahawks finally were able to put some points up on the board against the Lions the following week, the defense finally had an bad day, giving up 28 points, and more importantly, a touchdown at the end of the game to lose.
His name was Caleb. He was Jane's exboyfriend, and the only thing I really knew about their relationship was that at the end, he didn't want the things Jane wanted. Marriage and babies. They broke up in February, so I thought six months was enough time. Apparently, I was wrong. It was a Saturday night. Like always, I drove over to Jane's apartment, and it was immediately obvious that something was wrong. She would later tell me that Caleb called her while she was asleep, and left a voicemail, telling her that he still loved her, and that he wanted to be with her.
At this moment, I thought she was going to break up with me and get back together with Caleb, but I was wrong. She said she didn't want to end our relationship, but merely slow down. Naturally, because of my feelings with Jane, I went along with this, but now I had serious doubts about our future together.
But the Seahawks rebounded in their next two games, beating a semi-impressive team in the Vikings, albeit at home, and dominated the very unimpressive Jets at home. But hey, there was hope for the Seahawks after all.
Me and Jane were still spending plenty of time together, and we were enjoying our time together, but there was just something...off. I still had high hopes for our future, but I was a lot more cautious now than when we started seeing each other.
And then it was over for the Seahawks. They lost to the Miami Dolphins, at best an average team. If the Seahawks wanted to get into the playoffs and win, they had to be able to beat teams like the Dolphins. They were unable to. At 6-5, the Seahawks would need to win at least 4 of their remaining 5 games, and that looked impossible, especially considering that they were going to be playing the Bears in Chicago the following week.
And then Jane broke up with me. It was heart-breaking. I mean, I saw it coming, what with Caleb and his phone call, but that didn't make it any less painful. I fell into a deep depression. It was a tragedy when I woke up without any beer in the fridge. Showering was a pain in the ass. In a month, I lost 12 pounds.
And then, somehow, someway, it got better. The Seahawks had the ball at their own 3 yard line, down 10-14, with 3:40 remaining in regulation. A touchdown seemed incredibly unlikely. But...hmm, what was that? 11 yard completion to McCoy. 10 yard completion to Lynch. 10 yard run by Lynch. 13 yard run by Wilson. 11 yard completion to Baldwin. HOLY CRAP, 27 yard completion to Rice! Seahawks have the ball at the Chicago 14! AND...OH MY GOODNESS...TOUCHDOWN SEAHAWKS!!!! RUSSEL WILSON TO GOLDEN TATE!!!! THE SEAHAWKS ARE GOING TO WIN!!! JUST HOLD THEM!!! YES!!!!!!!!
….What the fuck? Seriously? I hate you, Seahawks. I hate you. There were less than 30 seconds left. I can't believe you left Brandon Marshall open. I...oh, I hate this team. I guess there's still overtime, though. I just...SERIOUSLY??
Okay Wilson, get something started. Okay, nice little 11 yard run for Wilson. Oh hey, 15 yard run by Lynch. We're doing good. Cmon, it's 3 down and 2. Pick this up. YES! Nice run, Wilson! Okay, 3rd down and 5. Gotta get this. YES! Another good run by Wilson! Got the ball on the Bear's 25. Oh shit, 3rd down and 10. We need this one. We don't want to give the ball back to Bears. Need a touchdown. Cmon Russell...cmon Russell...YES!!! FIRST DOWN TO BALDWIN!!! WE GOT THE BALL ON THE CHICAGO 13!!!
Find a receiver...find a receiver...find a receiver...cmon Russell...find a receiver. He throws, TO RICE, RUN RUN RUN RUN, HOLY FUCKING SHIT TOUCHDOWN SEAHAWKS!!!! WE WON!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!!!! WE FUCKING WON!!! ...wait...what?
HE WAS IN!!! WHY ARE THEY REVIEWING IT?!?!? HE WAS IN!!!!!!! SERIOUSLY!!!! HE WAS IN!!!! THE GAME IS OVER!!!!..........DAMN RIGHT HE WAS IN!!!!! YES!!!!!!!!
It was a Saturday night, and I was sitting at home, watching a rerun of “Castle”. Me and Jane would text occasionally, but not very often. It was run of the mill stuff like, “How you doing?” or “How are you holding up?” I had no faith. Our relationship was over.
But there I was, sitting on the couch, when my cell phone went off, indicating I had a text. I was surprised, as I have very little friends to speak of. I figured it might be my best friend Kate, telling me that she was stoned. Kate was often stoned. But it was not Kate. It was Jane. And all it said was, “You wanna come over? We can go to Dorky's and get some food.” My response? “Hell yes.”
We got back together that night, but with some major caveats. We were not in a relationship. There would be no discussion of the future. We were going to go extremely slow. And actually, I was okay with it. I just wanted to be with her. Before that night, and after that night, she was the woman I was going to marry. When I was with her, there was nowhere else I wanted to be.
I...are you serious? 58-0? Holy crap, Seahawks. What happened? Did Pete call the mafia and have them threaten your life if you don't play well? DAMN.
No...no way. 50-17? This can't be real. 107 points in two weeks. Okay, let's calm down, we're playing the 49ers next week, and they have one of the best defenses in the league. We can win, but we're not going to put up anything near 50 points, and it's going to be close.
Me and Jane were so happy together. We weren't talking about it, but I knew we were going to get back together. As in, somewhere in the near future, we would be in a relationship, and we would be talking about marriage and babies soon enough.
OH....MY...GOD. 42-13!!!! HOLY SHIT, WE JUST KICKED THE 49'ERS ASS!!!! WE ARE GOING TO THE PLAYOFFS!!!! WATCH OUT, HERE COMES THE SEAHAWKS!!!!
Quoting Jane, “We're still not in a relationship, but don't date anybody else, okay? I won't date anyone else, either.” Yeah, I can dig it.
Well...that was....eh, who cares? The Rams have a good defense, and it was unrealistic to expect the Seahawks to score 50 points a game the rest of the way. We're in the playoffs. That's all that matters. I don't care that the game's in Washington. We're going to beat the Redskins.
Hmm...Jane had plans on Christmas. I mean, that's only natural, but I guess I was just expecting to spend it with her. Eh, who cares? I'm seeing her on Christmas Eve, and I'll get to see her on Christmas morning before she leaves. But still. A bit annoying.
...Seriously Seahawks? 0-14? After the first quarter? I can't believe this. I knew I was feeling way too confident about this game. They can't contain RG3. Ugh.
Okay, that's what we do. 13-14 at halftime. We can beat them. We are the better team. Keep it going, Seahawks. Keep it going.
Really? No points in the third quarter? Time is running out, Seahawks. Get it going.
Run...run...run...run...TOUCHDOWN SEAHAWKS!!!! BEAST MODE!!!!! WE GOT THE LEAD!!!!
Oh holy crap, is RG3 okay? Damn, that looks serious. Oh, damn. Well, cmon Seahawks. Score again, and we got this. And the field goal is...GOOD! Yes!!! Game over!!! Watch out Falcons, here we come!!!
Something wasn't good. There was something brewing. We still had a good time that night, but it was obvious something was about to happen. Something bad. I had faith that things would work between me and Jane, but no trust that things would work out.
And there it is. 0-10 after the first quarter. 0-20 at halftime. 7-27 in the third quarter. Why am I still watching this game? This is a fucking slaughter. Oh, Seahawks. At least you're not giving me a heart attack. This is not going to be a close game. Can I just change the channel now?
Jane: It's not going to work out.
Jane: I'm sorry Daniel, it's just not going to work out. We're never going to get back together.
Daniel: But I don't understand. We were doing so well. There was no pressure. I wasn't pressing you.
Jane: No, you weren't, but...I'm sorry.
Daniel: What happened?
Jane: Nothing specific. I just...I just realized we will never be what you want. I can't give you what you want, Daniel. I'm...I'm sorry.
Daniel: I'm not giving up this easy, okay?. We are meant to be together, Jane. I know it and you know it. Please, don't give up on us.
Daniel: I know some part of you is hesitating and you need to listen to that.
Huh, touchdown Seahawks. 14-27.
Jane: It's not enough, Daniel.
Daniel: There's a reason we got back together, Jane. Don't ignore it.
Jane: Daniel, I...
Daniel: I love you, Jane. I love you.
...Um, HOLY SHIT. 21-27!!! WE ARE BACK IN THIS!!! CMON, DEFENSE!!!!
Daniel: We can go as slow as you want. We'll wait until you're comfortable. I am no rush. We have all the time in the world.
Jane: I don't want to break your heart again, Daniel. Just...no.
Daniel: Don't worry about me. I love you, Jane. I love you so much. Please. Stay with me.
Daniel: But the thing is...wait, what?
Daniel: You're not breaking up with me?
Daniel: I can't...I don't...OH HOLY SHIT, I LOVE YOU, JANE! YES!!!!!
HOLYMOTHERFUCKING SHIT I DON'T MOTHERFUCKING BELIEVE IT!!!! TOUCHDOWN SEAHAWKS!!!! WE HAVE THE LEAD!!!!!!!! FUCK YES!!!!!! WE ARE GOING TO THE SUPER BOWL!!!!! FUCK YES!!!!!!
...Hey, what was that? Don't let them throw the ball. Tighten up.
Jane: Um...calm down, Daniel. There's still...oh no.
HEY!!! CMON!!!! PLAY SOME FUCKING DEFENSE!!!!!!!
Daniel: No what?
Jane: I'm sorry. We're not getting back together.
Daniel: Are you fucking kidding me? You said we were 30 seconds ago.
Jane: I...I changed my mind.
ARE YOU ABSOLUTELY FUCKING KIDDING ME!!!! THERE WERE 32 SECONDS LEFT!!!! THIS IS FUCKING BULLSHIT!!!! WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING THIS, SEAHAWKS?!?!?!? I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS!!!!
Jane: Well maybe....
HE MISSED THE FIELD GOAL!!!!! HE MISSED IT!!!! WE WON!!!!! WE WON!!!! WE....WHAT? HE DIDN'T CALL TIMEOUT!!!! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?!?!? HE DIDN'T CALL TIMEOUT!!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?!?!?!?!? NO!!!!!
Jane: No, never mind. It's over.
The kick is good. Seahawks lose. Commence crying.
Jane: You'll meet someone better for you, Daniel. Someone who wants the things you want. Don't give up hope.
Well, there is always next year. And we have our franchise quarterback. And The Beast, Richard Sherman, Earl Thomas, and a whole lot of other good, young, players. And we'll get better in the draft and in free agency. It'll be okay. This team will be good for a long time.