The Seahawks are excelling in almost every aspect right now except for one: beards. Where are the beards guys? I know playoff beards are more of an NHL thing, but don't tell that to Brett Keisel... or hell, even Tom Brady.
I began to wonder how some of the players' beards would grow out. Using high tech computers and complex algorithms, I was able to create the following renderings.
Richard is a bad bad man; Samuel L. Jackson with dreads. His playoff beard would tell everybody on first glance that their ass is 'bout to get whooped.
Big Red is a gentleman at heart and thus requires a gentlemen's beard. This fine sir tips his cap to you and wishes all the fine madams good day.
Jon swore off the viking lifestyle when he chopped his beautiful locks. He now leans towards a more civilized look.
Beastmode can grow any full length beard he wants in mere hours -- nay... minutes. Guessing the style of his beard is like trying to guess the shape a cloud will take... but I like guessing so here is my guess.
Is there anything Russell can't do? What makes you think Russell can't grow the biggest, bushiest beard? He can. Grizzly Adams asks Russell for advice. Abraham Lincoln had a picture of Russell in his pocket watch. Russell is Spanish for "beard". True stuff.
I am sure that you all have your own varying beard simulation technology and I would love to see what your machines produce. So please post your results below.
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