FanPost

Oh the Horror - A Seahawks Bye Week

Otto Greule Jr

Let's be honest with ourselves. The only thing that could be worse than this bye week is if the Seahawks had lost to the Vikings on Sunday and we had to endure two weeks of debate about the Hawks playing down to the level of their competition. I hate that debate. I'm so glad we're not there.

Now, not only is this a bye week, but the next game is a Monday night so it is an extra long bye week - 15 days between games - or to be more exact, 361.5 hours from the end of the last Seahawks game to the start of the next one. This is a big problem - a horrifying reality for the 12th man. What the hell are we going to do with ourselves?

Well it turns out the bye week is not such a big problem for the Seahawks players . If I heard it right at Coach Carroll's Monday press conference, the players only have to remember to do 5 simple things:

1. Continue their workout regimen (I admit this is a bit of a challenge during a week off)

2. Get the proper amount of sleep (this one is easy)

3. Eat right (not too hard unless Golden Tate gets a craving for doughnuts)

4. Don't gain 8 pounds (or Coach says they will have to lose 8 pounds next week)

5. Be good Seahawks (meaning don't get a DUI or get in an altercation at a club at 3AM).

I'm a little miffed at Coach Carroll for not being clear if these rules apply to the 12th man. After all, are we not considered a part of the team? In the absence of such clarity, I have to assume his 5 rules don't apply to us. This leaves us, the 12th man, pretty much clueless about what to do and how to behave during this bye week. Left to our own devices, some bad stuff could happen. I'm talking REALLY bad stuff.

So I feel compelled to step in and provide some rules to fill the vacuum left by Coach Carroll's oversight of the 12th man. My suggested bye week rules for the fans are as follows:

1. Shop. Make it a buy week. Admit it - you are not going to be able to focus on Christmas shopping during the December playoff run. Go buy some of that stuff now - perhaps a Seahawks snuggie pillow. Or at least make a list so you don't have to think about what stuff to buy come December.

2. If you already planned to get one, get your flu shot this week. Don't you dare get sick during the playoffs or spread that crap to the rest of us.

3. Stock up on Quinoa patties. There may be a run on them in December or January and you don't want to be caught empty handed during the playoffs. (Thanks to Sherman Tank for his excellent post on this: http://www.fieldgulls.com/2013/11/9/5086504/anatomy-of-a-bud-light-commercial)

4. Know your game and stay with your normal routine. It's working . Your record is 10-1. Don't let this bye week distract you from what got you here. Wear that same lucky underwear. Eat the same food. Stay on your game 12th man!

5. Tweet some crap about the Seahawks at least once or twice. If you don't tweet, start tweeting or at least post something on Facebook. There is something to this positive social media energy field theory. No lapse in positive social media energy, please!

Have I missed an important rule? Post one of your own by commenting on this post. I'll assemble a panel of bye week rules experts, pick the top 5-10`, and repost the winners next Monday or Tuesday. Let your creative juices flow.

Bring it on 12th man! And Go Hawks!

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