With the 62nd Pick: A Post-Draft Pants Status

The fourth draft under the Carroll-Schneider Authority has concluded. As we all have in the past, I'm seeing many of the customary reactions to a Seahawks draft from pundits, fans and non-fans alike, especially in regards to the Christine Michael pick. These include but are not limited to:

The Field Guller:


"Fuck yeah!"


"Pants OFF!"


"Suck it, Harbaugh!"

"No seriously, who the hell is this guy?!"

"Percy Harvin is ruining our team!!!!" (Sorry, I had to)

The Kiper (or the Walter, if you prefer): "Reach. Reach. ReachreachIhadthisguygoinginthethird. Rea-couldhavetradedbackagainandstill..reachreach-notateamneedrearea-reeeeeeee----"(Head explodes, revealing circuitry and a metal skeleton, but the goofy hair and gigantic chin are still perfectly intact)

The Blind Follower: "I hate this pick, but I trust in PCJS. So I guess I actually like this pick".

Prior to this years draft, I told myself I would not be surprised, no matter what. When Isaiah Kacyvenski read Christine Michael's name and position, I was, of course, surprised...hell, stunned maybe. I attribute this surprise to three reasons: 1) Isaiah Kacyvenski... really? The Falcons had Deion f'ing Sanders announce their pick. The Bucs had Warren Sapp. The best ex-Seahawk available was Isaiah Kacyvenski? Who's it gonna be next year, Todd Weiner? Maybe Taco Wallace? 2) There's a girl in the draft? 3) A running back? But we already have TWO running backs! There's no need there! I know I said I wouldn't be surprised, but really? No defensive tackle? No tight end? A brother can't even get a WILL up in here?

I'd gone through this before in previous drafts. As embarassing as my past reactions seem today, the experiences prepared me for what needed to be done to get my shit together and put my game face on. This is what I told myself:

FIrst: Shut your mouth, Dave. Just keep your stupid mouth shut. You're a dorky biochem student, not a Seahawks personnel executive. Don't listen to anyone, don't respond to anyone's texts, just push Mute and find your laptop. I don't care what Mayock says, laptop! Oh it's not charged? Doesn't your wife yell at you about not charging it almost every single day? Jesus. Go to the desktop then.


Third: Watch the tape. Relax. See for yourself. There we go. Your pants will take care of themselves, they know the drill by now.

"Wow, this dude is a beast! I'm sure Pete will find a way to get him on the field. Definitely an upgrade over Leon. Plus Beast Mode will not last forever."

(As I watch Christine Michael highlights, my belt undoes itself. My pants unzip themselves, drop to the floor, and slide off. The pair of pants walks slowly across the room, lets out a sigh, and jumps out of the window, never to be seen again.)

I realize that there is and will continue be some debate about whether this pick was necessary and/or justified. And that's cool with me, I can see why. A lot of people on here recognized right away how this pick could be a great one (and I commend you). After an initial freakout, I'm in the same boat, and I love this pick. They drafted a guy they felt was the best at his position, rather than settling on a lower rated prospect at a higher "need" position.

I guess I just wasn't prepared for the luxury of a luxury pick. I'm a lifelong Seattle sports fan, therefore I am used to disappointment, tears, and despair. And tears. No matter how much hype and Superb Owl talk I hear, the pessimistic, beaten down, Supersonics-less man I am is used to seeing so many holes that need to be filled, so many needs. But now? Not anymore. Needs, shcmeeds. The 49ers aren't the only team that's stacked enough to pleasure draft and stash if they want to. This team is talented and deep, and they drafted a unique player who can make the team better now and provide insurance for the future. Built to succeed, and built to last.

Damn it feels good to be a Seahawks fan.

And hey, why not a poll?

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