Like his reptilian counterpart, Marshawn Lynch was specifically crafted in a secret lab to be the perfect warrior, designed with one goal and only one goal. To kill.
Lynch rips holes through opposing defenses, throws them to the ground, rips out their hearts and eats them in front of their dying eyes. Then he scores a touchdown. He has no concept of mercy, and even if he did, he would simply see as a tool for cowards.
QUOTE: "I don't care where I fight. As long as I get to hurt someone."
Richard Sherman-Zaphod Beeblebrox
Loud, brash, you either love him or hate him, Richard Sherman has quickly become the face of the Seahawks in many people's eyes.
Zaphod Beeblebrox is the President of the Galaxy, a job that very few realize is meant not to hold power, but to distract people from the real power behind the throne (more on that in the next entry).
Of course, no comparison to Zaphod Beeblebrox is complete if the man is not a hoopy frood, and Richard Sherman is a frood of the most hoopy quality. Just look at him rock that bowtie.
QUOTE: "If there's anything more important than my ego around here, I want it caught and shot now."
R2-D2 is awesome and has rocket boosters. Earl Thomas is similar. Both of them are short and are equipped with all the tools they need to save the day.
And here's another comparison. In all the time he's been here, have you ever heard Earl Thomas talk? Ever? Does he even speak English?
Fans of other teams think Richard Sherman what gives the Legion of Boom its power, but true Twelves know the real hero is Earl Thomas. Just like real Star Wars fans know that R2-D2 is the real hero of the movies. Seriously, how many times does he save the day?
QUOTE: "Beep beep boop beep."
Seriously, just watch him blow up Vernon Davis over and over. That is all I have to say on the issue.
QUOTE: "Ahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!" (Vernon Davis explodes)
Yeah, I know. Putting Alien right after Predator? How freaking original. I don't care though, just look at him with those big long arms as he snatches the ball from Deangelo Williams' arms. Alien's can adapt to anything, and Browner was forced to adapt to the savage north-lands of Canada, coming back stronger than before.
QUOTE: Aliens don't talk, silly!
Chris Clemons-Thel 'Vadam
Yeah, I know the guy in the picture is actually Ripa Moramee, not Thel 'Vadam. Sue me, that picture is awesome. Chris Clemons is a man on a mission, and that mission is to kill as many quarterbacks as possible and make the Seahawks the most dominant force in the galaxy. Thel 'Vadam had a similar goal before the events of Halo 2.
Like the Arbiter, Chris Clemons once played for the wrong side, before being betrayed by his former masters and joining the side of good(the 'Hawks). After their victories, both of them are currently in a down part of their lives. Tel 'Vadam is stuck trying to unify the Sangheili while being opposed by rebels and secret ONI black ops forces, while Chris Clemons was put on IR and is still recovering.
QUOTE: "The Niners' new-found courage is but fear. When we are victorious, all who serve Jim Harbaugh will be punished."
Golden Tate-Booster Gold
No, I did not make him Booster Gold just because they have the word gold in their names. Okay, yes I did. For those of you who don't know, Booster Gold is a hero from the future who stole advanced technology and went back to the present day so he could use it to become rich and famous. Just like Tate "stole" a win from the Packers. Suck it up, Green Bay. We won that game.
They both had issues with maturity at first but have since become major heroes. Oh, and for those of you who haven't seen it yet, watch the Justice League episode "The Greatest Story Never Told". It's fantastic.
QUOTE: "I'm sure you're all wondering who I am. Well, how about the 411? I'm pure gold, ladies and gentlemen. I am Golden Tate, the greatest hero you've never heard of... till now!"
Jon. Fucking. Ryan.
QUOTE:"I am vengeance. I am the night. I. AM. JON RYAN!"
Red Bryant-Tyrannosaurus Rex
Red Bryant eats everything on the field. Everything. Field goals, quarterbacks, running backs, offensive linemen, none are safe from the gaping jaws of Red Bryant. Some will tell you that the T-Rex was killed by a Spinosaurus in Jurassic Park 3. This is 49er propaganda. Nothing defeats a T-Rex, not electric fences, not nuclear bombs, not even Jon Ryan.
Matt Flynn-Khan Noonien Singh
Matt Flynn was a powerful prince in Green Bay. He had just set the team record for most thrown touchdowns in a game, and this is in a franchise that has had Aaron Rodgers, Brett Favre and Bart Starr, so that's no mean feat. When he came to Seattle, he was set on claiming his throne, quickly taking over the team. However, his plans were thwarted by Russell Wilson, and he was exiled to Oakland. I think you can see where this going.
QUOTE: FLYNN: "I've done far worse than kill you, Russell. I've hurt you. And I wish to go on hurting you. I shall leave you as you left me, as you left her; marooned for all eternity in the center of a dead franchise... buried alive! Buried alive...!
Pete Carroll-Nick Fury
The world was in danger. The Niner threat grew by the day, and only one man could stop it. Putting together the "Seahawk Initiative" Pete Carroll constructed an elite team of superheroes, assassins, and dinosaurs to combat the threat. The only thing that would make him cooler is an eyepatch.
QUOTE: "There was an idea to bring together a group of remarkable people, so when we needed them, they could fight the battles that we never could."
Alright, so that's the list. If you have any suggestions... hold on.
I think I'm forgetting someone.
You thought I'd go for someone short, didn't you?
John-117 is the perfect warrior. Strong, smart, fast, brave, and lucky. He can swing entire battles all his own, and his mere presence encourages his fellow troops to fight even harder. There is no battle the Master Chief cannot win, no enemy he cannot defeat. He has up against false prophets bent on the destruction of humanity, a hive mind creature ten million years old with the combined intellect of every creature it has ever absorbed, a powerful Forerunner Warrior-Servant driven mad by a hundred millennia of being trapped in a Cryptum with only his own anger for company, and all their assembled hordes of aliens, zombies and robots.
When the hour is most bleak, that is when both the Chief and Russell Wilson are at their most heroic. Whether it's flying a fighter into the heart of an ancient spaceship, or throwing the game winning touchdown on fourth down as the clock runs out, both these men are the absolute epitome of clutch.
QUOTE: (The Bears are winning with less than two minutes in the fourth quarter. Things are looking bleak for Seattle.)
DARRELL BEVELL: Sir, we’ve got a quarterback slipping in.
LORD CARROLL: He’s not one of ours, take him out.
RW: This is Russell Wilson. Can anyone read me? Over.
LORD CARROLL: Isolate that signal! Wilson, you mind telling me what you’re doing on that field.
RW: Sir. Finishing this fight.