Quantum Seahawks

Cary Edmondson-USA TODAY Sports

I have this theory that for an instant, the Seahawks and 49rs somehow shared the same quantum state and have been fully linked together ever since. I am relying on a phenomena known as quantum entanglement and is what Einstein called "spooky action at a distance". It occurs when photons and electrons interact physically and then become separated. Once linked, a manipulation to one is instantly observed in the other even though separated by large distances.

Now I don't throw this supposition out there blithely. I am a man of science, so I ask you to consider the evidence. Which team:

- spent enormous capital building a young, game controlling offensive line;
- is committed to a ball control, run first offense utilizing a veteran, work horse type tailback;
- utilizes a savvy receiving corps and a pro bowl tight end; and
- features a dominant defensive line backed by a position group with pro bowl players at every spot (e.g., the 49rs linebacker crew or the Seahawk's "Legion of Boom" secondary)

Maybe the teams shared the same quantum superposition during a particularly intense interdivisional game. Another name for it is quantum field theory after all. Or maybe it occurred when Carroll asked Harbaugh "what's your deal?". Who knows, I'm not a physicist. But with entanglement, measurements performed on one system seem to be instantaneously influencing other systems entangled with it. Questions of non-locality notwithstanding, the evidence for this between these two teams is undeniable. If it still seems a bit farfetched, let me ask you which squad:

- has a GM with a seemingly preternatural ability to evaluate and amass talent under the cap, finding athletes with elite skills and crafting roles for them to thrive within their system;

- hired a controversial head coach who instills great loyalty and enthusiasm and whose national reputation skyrocketed by bringing a middling squad to national prominence; and

- ditched a veteran, ball control type quarterback midstream (Smith/Flynn) taking a flier on a dynamic, fresh-faced field general (Kaepernick/Wilson).

Doesn't it seem strange that without adequate practice, a team could throw a young signal caller into an offense and begin utilizing the read option to stunning success? That both players were the sixth (count 'em) quarterback off the board in recent drafts and that both would be recognized as emerging superstars within a few games. When does this ever happen…and in the same season?! Isn't Miami on quarterback number 30 since Dan Marino?

Need more evidence? With hardly a job to be won, both teams in the draft plucked two different tight ends out of Rice University of all places and slated them for significant contributions on league leading offenses. Rice? Not even Ozmataz Buckshank and Jackmerious Tacktheritrix played at Rice University. Nobody comes out of there, let alone two guys at the same position in the same year.

Still not convinced? Notice how the 49rs fans are tantalized by an unproven but world class speedster by the name of Ricardo Lockette, a story familiar to Seahawk fans as the receiver was plucked from their practice squad last year. What about when the 49rs lost receiver Michael Crabtree to a season ending achilles heal injury? Within the same damn news cycle, the Hawks carted pass catcher Anthony McCoy off the practice field with season ending achilles heal injury. Spooky indeed.

Look, I am not a conspiracy theorist. This is science. With entanglement, if you measure one photon and it’s vertically polarized, its entangled sibling will be horizontally polarized. They are absolutely and foundationally intertwined and the transfer occurs instantaneously, at least 10,000 times faster than the speed of light. The theory has been verified experimentally is an accepted property of nature -- albeit only for electrons, molecules and even small diamonds and not football teams. Not yet, anyway. But that is what we are seeing here -- two squads entangled together, their fates inexorably linked. And it is starting to get little weird if you ask me.

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