Seahawks as Superheroes

Russell-man-of-steel_medium is currently promoting a story comparing NFL players to superheroes. Whoever wrote that article did a pretty terrible job. Bill Belichick as Professor X? Sean Payton as Iron Man? Larry Fitzgerald as Hawkeye? Are you insane? Hawkeye would be a quarterback. Period. It just gets worse from there.

I began to think about how the Seahawks roster would match up to the world of superheroes. Some players were pretty obvious, while others required a little more thought (like more than the 1 second took to make their article). Here are a few of the heroes I came up with:

Please feel free to disagree and make suggestions in the comments. And if you can match Rorschach to a Seahawks player, I would love to hear your idea. I really wanted to fit him in somewhere.

Russell Wilson a.k.a. Superman

Initially an outcast due to his ungodly powers, Russell learned to love the human race and has dedicated his life to save us all. He has incredible speed, amazing strength, x-ray vision and a cool demeanor that makes all the ladies go, "oooh."

"You let them handcuff you?"
"My father believed that if the world found out who I really was, they'd reject me out of fear."

Marshawn Lynch a.k.a. the Hulk

While seemingly calm, sarcastic and a little emotionally withdrawn, Marshawn contains a beast that, once released, puts all of humanity in danger.


Earl Thomas a.k.a. Flash

With lightning quick reflexes and abilities that seem to bend the laws of physics, no one gets by the Flash.


Richard Sherman a.k.a. Human Torch

Incredibly smart, fast and powerful but incredibly brash, the Human Torch cannot be burned.

"I'm better at life than you."

Kam Chancellor a.k.a. Batman

The Dark Knight lurks in the shadows waiting for evil to show its ugly face. Criminals live in fear not knowing when he will show up and how bad he's going to hurt them.


Brandon Browner a.k.a. Spawn

A promising all-star, Brandon's future aspirations were murdered and he was sent to hell. After five years of living in hell (Colorado & Canada), Spawn returned to Earth with his soul removed and vengeance in its place.


Red Bryant a.k.a. Groot

He is creature of little words who grows to dominating sizes when needed. His incredible intelligence is often masked by his shear size and strength. Nobody messes with Groot.


Golden Tate a.k.a. Kick-Ass

Kick-Ass doesn't have amazing powers and is seemingly over-matched in most fights. Yet he always comes out on top.


Doug Baldwin a.k.a. Spider-Man

A master of mid-air acrobatics, Spidey leaves you asking, "How in the hell did you do that?" Webs son, webs.


Bobby Wagner a.k.a. Ant-Man

He may be undersized, but he still has the strength and speed of a normal sized man with the added bonus of nobody seeing him coming.


Chris Clemons a.k.a. Wolverine

A man who came from obscurity with a deadly temper and unstoppable power. Hopefully he is as quick of a healer as he is said to be.


Michael Robinson a.k.a. Nick Fury

Mr. Fury is an old hardened veteran and an unquestioned leader. He is never afraid to do the dirty work.


Breno Giacomini a.k.a. Crimson Bolt

Breno seems like a nice enough guy in the real world, but once he puts his mask on... Jesus Christ. He's definitely got some anger issues he needs to work out.


John Moffitt a.k.a. Deadpool

The Merc with a Mouth is insane and a whole lot of fun. It would be really nice if he could maybe have a starting role in a movie (game) sometime.


Percy Harvin a.k.a. Mr. Glass

Kidding. Probably... hopefully.


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