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Top Ten Things To Watch For If Seattle Wins The Super Bowl



Trash talk is not my style. I prefer to talk up opponents rather than make fun of them. It's a little lesson I learned from the Roman Empire who would talk about how incredibly powerful, legendary, and unstoppable their enemy was so they could follow up by saying "and look what we did to them". Still, it's the Super Bowl so I will make an exception just this once for a little fun and some tongue in cheek ribbing.

The following are my top 10 things to expect if Seattle beats Denver in the Super Bowl.

10. Russell Wilson hosts Saturday Night Live. Colin Kaepernick makes a guest appearance in a skit where he insists he is the better quarterback marking the first time in 15 years that SNL actually made someone laugh. The airing coincides with Jim Harbaugh’s release of a tell-all autobiography titled "WAAAAAAAA".

9. After reminding Wes Welker of why you don’t go over the middle on the LOB, Chuck Norris starts telling Kam Chancellor jokes. Welker wakes up just in time for the Broncos’ first pick of the 2014 draft and asks "did we win?"

8. Marshawn Lynch is featured on the front of a Wheaties box. Peyton Manning is featured on the cover of a bag of Luden’s Medicated Cough Drops.

7. 49ers fans take down their Lombardi Trophy billboard in Seattle. Seattle fans counter by putting one up in San Francisco that answers "The One From This Year".

6. After preliminary negotiations and great excitement about a line of endorsed receiving gloves and shoes, Nike sends Demaryius Thomas a text that says "nevermind".

5. Percy Harvin’s 125 yard, 2 TD performance makes Minnesota fans stop claiming they got Cordarrelle Patterson in the trade instead of Xavier Rhodes.

4. Not wanting to be associated with losing, the mayor of Ohama, Nebraska asks Peyton Manning to switch his cadence to Sioux City.

3. Several members of the 49ers and their fans suffer emotional breakdowns from having to deal with the concept of the Seahawks being world champions. A Congressional investigation is launched to determine whether football is too emotionally taxing for the players and fans. Obama gives a speech saying "If I had a son he would look like Crabtree".

2. Richard Sherman continues to demonstrate he is the ultimate competitor by winning the mirror ball trophy on Dancing With The Stars.

1. Seattle fans demonstrate to California residents how to celebrate a Super Bowl win without rioting.

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