Wild Card OT: Bye Week European Sh*t

It's just shy of a year into my European ex pat adventure and I have finally encountered the mythical beast. The German toilet.

In that time one of the things I've gotten used to is the the Europeans like to do thing for no other good reason than to just be different. Because that's how the Americans do it is a perfectly fine excuse. And while everybody wants to improve on ways/things and wants to have the best innovation, they'll hang onto the strikeouts here if they are almost as good as what they were trying to improve upon. Because it's the European way.

And there is no better example of this than the nearly fine piece of engineering in a German style toilet I found in a 10 cent pay toilet in the back of an Albert Heijn XL grocery store. I met the poop shelf. These have a small porcelain plateau that you do your business on that is washed away by a cascading waterfall when your done.



the best picture I could find.

As you can see this bowl is a designed upper decker right from the start. After a bit of reading I find the reasoning behind this is that is allegedly more sanitary because there is no impact splash back from the water, and also presumably is why German men sit down to pee. It doesn't work like that in practice, but that's besides the point.

Some of the drawbacks:

1. As an upper decker it by rule reeks during the process.

2. Water pressure has to be just right. Water pressure too high, splashes out the bowl on impact with your payload. Water pressure too low, and it's not going anywhere. *Has to be perfect for a wide range of consistencies of matter

3. Peeing into the bowl requires perfect aim into the water or you're peeing on knee high, hard, flat surface with splash back guaranteed.

So nothing about this operation is sanitary or superior in anyway to regular cans. And sitting down to pee is pretty much mandatory. Just because.

Now these are only around the German region I guess because I haven't seen them anywhere else around Europe. But I had a square toilet at my hotel in Greece, and half the toilets in Rome did not have seats. Sit on the rim if you must, and that included at a pretty nice restaurant. The bidet in the hotel room bathroom shot a horizontal stream out of the wall like a squirt gun and I never figured that one out.

Anyways, off topic bye week shit.

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