Seahawks Mock Draft V. 4.1

by John Morgan on Apr 1, 2008 11:45 AM PDT in 2008 NFL Draft

I've run out of ideas, so let's warm this corpse over. As always, I have no inside source. These are wild guesses based on nothing. It reflects my own bias, angst and level of drunkenness. I'll update this with some thrown together crap if I have to.

1. Musashimaru Koyo, DT, ISF: After enduring another season of Seattle's peewee defense getting run over again and again by bigger, more physical teams, it's time TImmay pulls his head out his ass. What the Hawks need is size. Pure, unadulterated fatness. Koyo has height, 6'4", an impressive bubble and the kind of quarter-tonnage, 517 pounds, you need in a defensive tackle. Could be Gilbert Brown in the offseason good.

2. Michael Jordan, TE, North Carolina: Winner. Champion. Veteran. Leader. Played basketball, ensuring NFL success. Jordan's vert compares to a kangaroo on pogo-stilts. Two sport star. Upside of Antonio Gates plus a cheetah times awesome.

3. Jay Cutler, BA, Olympia Tech: Killed the 225, curling it a record 47 times. Ripped. A touch undersized, 5'7". Embodies the strong side badass position. Some might accuse Cutler of being a workout warrior, but he gets it done in the gym, on the stage and in your mom's bed, Nancy.

4. Gallant, Teammate, Highlights U: Hard worker, honest, keeps his cool under pressure and always makes the right decision. Not the most athletic player, but his intangibles are off the charts:

6. Goro, Specialist, Netherealm State: A one of a kind talent. Will make an immediate impact on special teams. Thick, ropy muscles. Imposing 8 foot frame. The kind of guy you want on your team. Draft stock has dropped due to evilness, cannibalism.

7. George S. Patton, Hero, VMI: Former Olympian. Hard nosed, fierce competitor who's fearless under fire. Brilliant on field strategist. Withering trash talker. He's read your book. A man for the trenches, Old Blood and Guts attacks the front line and won't stop until he's blitzkrieged Normandy. A real sleeper.

0 recs | Comment 21 comments

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Comments

Hahahaha, awesome!

It's like falling into a the comment box at seahawks insider.

by MFAN on Apr 1, 2008 11:52 AM PDT 0 recs

nice spelling asshole

by MFAN on Apr 1, 2008 12:03 PM PDT up 0 recs

John

I added a couple
tags to the intro text. Sumo boys stomach was hanging over Bab's face.

Coach Owens = Scruffy's spell check

by Scruffy Lefty on Apr 1, 2008 12:26 PM PDT 0 recs

Thanks, I feared that might happen.

But had to post and go. Again, thanks.

by John Morgan on Apr 1, 2008 2:20 PM PDT up 0 recs

hahaha

I put a br tag in that comment accidentally

Coach Owens = Scruffy's spell check

by Scruffy Lefty on Apr 1, 2008 5:10 PM PDT up 0 recs

You recognize the Powerthirst guy, right?

by John Morgan on Apr 1, 2008 6:18 PM PDT up 0 recs

FIZZ BITCH!!!

Love the post by the way

Coach Owens = Scruffy's spell check

by Scruffy Lefty on Apr 1, 2008 7:12 PM PDT up 0 recs

My wife love's that clip.

She's totally a pun woman. Preposterone. Need I say more?

by John Morgan on Apr 4, 2008 9:18 PM PDT up 0 recs

' = drunkenss

But, dear God, Arrogant Bastard and Old Rasputin were both on sale!! That + Optimator! Let The Flash Flood Begin

by John Morgan on Apr 4, 2008 9:21 PM PDT up 0 recs

weird

I recognized one of the guys in the video from a university class we took together. Funny guy, his presentation on feces was quite profound.

by Mercenary on Apr 1, 2008 9:56 PM PDT up 0 recs

substitute Michael Jordan for Shawn Kemp

I remember reading somewhere (here? simmons?) some conjecture on why it's so hard to find good TEs with the conclusion that premier TEs and power forwards require nearly the exact same skill set: tall, muscular, explosive, can jump out the building, good balance, good footwork, soft hands. The thinking was that if you possess such a combination of abilities, why would you go to the league that offers you less pay and less fame for a shorter career?

by sammy on Apr 1, 2008 12:41 PM PDT 0 recs