First of all, let me say that I don't believe 9-11 was an inside job.

But I was talking with some rather suspicious fans this past weekend who were awfully surprised that Joey Galloway didn't find his way into the game on Sunday against the Seahawks. They were saying how there's no way that it could take so long to recover from a strained foot.

Maybe Galloway was in Gruden's dog house for one reason or another. Maybe Galloway was caught leering at the cheerleaders. Maybe Galloway mentioned the Gruden's wife was hitting the Double-Stuff Oreos. Anything other than what the Times and the Trib are force-feeding us.

Now I didn't think too much about it at the time, but wouldn't it be funny if there was more to the Galloway injury than meets the eye?

I don't know what  a "foot strain" is. It actually doesn't sound too painful. I don't think I ever suffered from one. If I did, I ignored it and eventually it went away. I'm sure if it lasted five weeks, I might have gone to the doctor and said, "My foot has been hurting for five weeks, Doc."

How bad can a foot strain be? Seriously. Five weeks worth of injury? Terrell Owens broke his leg and came back in the same amount of time.

So I did what most Americans would do when faced with a medical crisis. I went to WebMD. WebMD says that "most muscle strains (pulled muscles) are caused by overstretching muscles. Strains may be minor or severe, such as a torn muscle or tendon."

So is it a "strain" (a pulled foot muscle) or is it a "tear" (an actual rip in the fiber or tendon)? We don't know. We're going by the injury report which has more lies in it than Roger Clements' Congressional Hearing.

We would assume if it was a tear, it would require surgery. And if surgery occurred, some big mouth would get word to the press. THAT I am sure of, especially in this sick-o camera-phone society.  

I'll come out and just say it and do away with all the implications. What kind of foot strain takes almost two months to heal? That doesn't sound right at all. Broken bones heal faster than Joey's foot.

Something stinks here, and it's not Chris Hovan's socks after a 1:00pm game.

How can something as minor as a foot strain keep an athlete on the shelf for two months?

All I've heard since Galloway's arrival in Tampa Bay is the torture he puts himself through to keep himself in peak condition. I've read several times that he doesn't tell anyone what his routine is because it's what has preserved his speed all these years. Okay fine.

But I would think that someone who keeps themselves in top physical form would have some muscles that would recover a little better than Joey's foot.

Seriously, how bad could it have been? I've watched every SECOND of Buccaneer football this year and I didn't even notice Galloway going out of the game. It's not like they had to get the cart for him. He was able to WALK when the injury was at it's worst.

So what is it? Why are we holding Galloway out?

Well, for a moment, let's get completely illogical. Let's throw the burden of proof to the wind and just peel back the layers of this grotesque onion we call the Buccaneers.

How's this for a theory? Jon Gruden knows how fragile Galloway is so he purposely holds him out for the first half of the season. Four home games, three semi-winnable away games. Three games against the NFC South (which the Bucs went 5-1 against last season). Green Bay without Brett Favre and an injury-riddled Seattle team. Do the Bucs really need to subject Galloway to a catastrophic injury for a weak part of the schedule?

Remember, Gruden benched all his starters at the end of last season once the Bucs clinched a playoff spot. As it turned out, it bit him in the rear-end when the Bucs looked rusty in the Wild Card Round against the Giants... and they were without Galloway and Ike Hilliard as well.

So what if you rest your stars early in the season? Hey, Jeff Garcia got a three-and-a-half game vacation. Garcia was also one of the guys who was "rested" at the end of last year (and he has the paycheck to prove it).

So let's say you "shorten" the season... shave a couple of games off the beginning of the year. Let your stars play 11 to 13 games plus 3 playoff games. That's 16 total. Hey, that's like missing the playoffs, right? That's one full NFL regular season.

Could it be that Galloway is being held out because the Bucs know that they are going to need all their weapons in the playoffs? Look at the Patriots. Did they really NEED Tom Brady to beat the Chiefs? Not really. And their season is suffering as a result. But I don't fault the Pats. There's no way they could have seen that coming.

But does Gruden (who has been labeled as "stubborn" for YEARS by Tampa Bay fans) still believe that playing LESS games may keep his players fresher? He seemed to de-reail their momentum at the end of the season last year. Is this year just an adjustment to the timing of the rest he gives his vets?  Does it matter which 16 games your stars play as long as it's not 19 or 20 games that are required to win a Super Bowl?

So Gruden shaves a few games off the beginning of the season for Garcia and Galloway. He trumps up some stupid story about a foot strain that nobody saw during the Atlanta game (as if the Bucs needed him with Monte Kiffen turning the dogs loose on the Falcons..... um.... is it too soon for a "dog/Falcon" reference?). Galloway plays 16 games en route to a Super Bowl in Tampa and he's healthy the whole time. Thank goodness the Bucs were able to hold the fort for the first 7 games of the year without their #1 wide receiver.

Then again, maybe Galloway sprained his foot.

I think that I was the only person who spent a good 50 minutes of Sunday's Bucs/Panthers game pissed off.

Yep. You read that right.

While everyone else was cheering the woodshed beat-down the Boyz N Da Pewter laid on Carolina, I was sitting in my seat in section 303, elbows on knees, palms on chin, and pissed.

All I saw was negatives.

With 1:03 left in the first half, Jeff Garcia completes a pass to Earnest Graham who runs up the right sideline for a 24-yard gain, but tries to cut back toward the center fo the field and doesn't get out of bounds. Thirty-two seconds run off the clock because the Bucs have only one time out left. I am screaming and carrying on with a run-on sentence about how Graham is an idiot because he went to UF.

I have an entire section of rabid Buc fans braving 104 degree pizza oven heat and screaming their head off, and I'm as agitated as a bee hive in a microwave.

Why?

My wife and my friend Jon were looking at me like I just kicked a puppy. Jon asked why I cannot enjoy the game. The Bucs were WINNING. Against the PANTHERS, of all teams... and here I am pissed off.

It's 17-3 and I'm upset that it's not 24 or 27-3.

Why?

Can I not enjoy this game anymore? And if not, why? And can I make it BACK to the point where I can be a fan and watch the game for enjoyment?

I'm asking... someone help me - help the "malcontent."

Have I watched this team for too long?

I've seen this team blow too many leads, get hosed by too many calls, have one too many catastrophic injuries. In short, I've spend almost every weekend since 1980 waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Sunday... it didn't happen.

But I didn't realize it until about 5:10 on Sunday.

Am I ruined for football? 

Jon called me a "malcontent."

Wikipedia says the following about the "malcontent:"

The Malcontent is a character type often used in early modern drama. The character is discontent with the social structure and other characters in the play. He or she is often an outsider, who observes and offers commentary on the action and may even show awareness that they are in a play. Shakespeare's Richard III and Iago in Othello are typical malcontents.

The role is usually both political and dramatic; with the malcontent voicing dissatisfaction with the usually 'Machiavellian' political atmosphere and often using asides to build up a kind of self-consciousness and awareness of the text itself which other characters in the play will lack to the same extent.

 

Jeez... does that sum it up or what?

Despite the Bucs' successes on Sunday, I was upset that score was not more lopsided; so many points were left on the field. Rather than reveling in smackdown, I'm focusing on all the WRONG that was done.

What's wrong with me?

This team - these Tampa Bay Buccaneers est. 1976 - have ruined me. Spoiled worse than chunky milk in an unplugged refridgerator, I sat in the 303, I watched a 27-3 shellacking and it wasn't good enough.

Because the other shoe never dropped.

I saw Horace Copeland and Trent Dilfer develop a rapport, only to see poor Horace tear up his knee. I saw the Bucs come within five minutes of dismantling the Colts on Monday Night Football only to be done in by the lack of coverage ability of Tim Wansley. I saw Bert Emanuel make a gorgeous rolling catch that's ruled a drop. I saw it all.

Sunday it didn't happen. Because of that, I was shocked and chagrinned.

Jon's a lawyer. Can I sue?

There's no point of contention or arguement with these words, but am I alone? I've been a Buc-fan since 1980 and I know that there are people who followed this franchise since Day One. I can't imagine how THEY might feel.

If you are a Buc Fan, you've seen unspeakable horrors on the field. Is it possible that those horrors can ruin you for future events? Can you end up like the chick who got hosed by that guy in high school and makes every date since then pay for the sins of the past?

I hope Jeff Garcia doesn't hate me.

Am I alone? Is anyone else ruined by this team (I guess I should say "franchise")? I'm not stating facts. I'm asking questions.

I think that I am incapable of enjoying this franchise's success due to the franchise's history of failure. I'm a cynic.

A malcontent.

I'd just like to mention that Roy Cummings of the Tampa Tribune basically regurgitated my entire article from 3 days ago using many of the same points and analysis I did in todays GAMEDAY sports section. Good job, Roy. I guess all you need to be a sports writer is the ability to browse the Internet.

The Trib gets a buck an issue on weekends to print what all of you loyal Buc'Em readers got to read for free. I think it's important to recognize JScott for his ability to spot genius when he sees it (namely in myself).

I am going on record RIGHT NOW - I BELIEVE THE BUCS WILL RETIRE MIKE ALSTOTT'S JERSEY/NUMBER (OR "RING OF HONOR" HIM ETC.) ON SUNDAY.

I don't know if it is in the Bible or something, but someone once coined the phrase, "The Lord helps those who help themselves."

If that is the case, don't expect any divine intervention on behalf of the Almighty when it comes to the Bucs.

Last weekend's game against the Broncos was a real eye-opener. Everyone who was calling for Brian Griese to get benched despite his record got their wish when Coach Jon Gruden's hand was forced and Jeff Garcia entered the game after Griese was knocked out of the game by cornerback Champ Bailey.

On a side note, how shameful. A corner levels the hit that takes you out of the line-up? That's about as shameful as being tackled by the kicker on a kickoff.

But after seeing Garcia and Griese helm the "Death by 1,000 Papercuts" offense, is it possible to come to any conclusion other than it's not going to matter who the quarterback is?

I take no pleasure in being correct about Griese being a more than capable starter, but the Broncos basically stared at the Emperor and announced he's naked. Essentially, it's not going to matter if Jeff Garcia or Jerry Garcia is behind the center, the secret's out on how to stop the Bucs.

The Broncos basically ran a 4-3 and kept their linebackers and corners in an "umbrella" formation which essentially kept all the short passes, flares, and swing passes in front of them . They could run this defense because there's no one to stretch the defense. Basically, every play was in front of the Broncos' D and they can close on the ball carrier.

With no deep threat, the Broncos didn't have to worry about anyone getting behind them.

And this is where the Bucs faulted in the off-season. They made no effort to pick-up a wide receiver prior to the start of the season. Antonio Bryant has been serviceable, but he's a big guy and not someone who scares people with his speed. The Bucs were basically playing with fire by having one speedy receiver in Joey Galloway. The plan would have been fine, barring injury.

Well, Galloway lasted three quarters despite being put on a shelf like a China bowl for the pre-season. So much for erring on the side of caution.

Oh sure. The Bucs will tell you they addressed their wide receiver shortage in the draft, but Dexter Jackson and I are tied for plays lined up at wide out for the Bucs. He's been a kick and punt returner for the entire season, but he's not even very good at that.

At the very least, let Jackson line up as a wide out as a DECOY. Let him run down the field to drag a corner or safety out of the box, if for no other reason than to open up the underneath passing that Gruden seems so committed to.

With the trade deadline rapidly approaching, Gruden went on the record saying that no one made trades anymore. Well, he better buck the trend pretty darn quick. Sure, they may rent a player for a year, but it's apparent that Maurice Stovall and Michael Clayton are not the answer despite the fawning over their apparent abilities.

Without Galloway, we can get used to 3 completions and punting on 4th and 6. Eleven defenders are swarming the line of scrimmage. The QB can't wait for a Bryant or a Clayton to stagger downfield or else they will suffer the same fate as Griese.

The Bucs need to pull the trigger and get a trade done. I don't even need to name names. ANYONE. It is apparent that the current crop of receivers isn't getting it done (and WON'T get it done). GM Bruce Allen should have seen the problems with this team when Ike Hilliard and Galloway (who should be nicknamed "Tiffany" because he's made of crystal) were knocked out of the playoff game versus the Giants last year. He should have thrown out some offers to Javon Walker or Mushin Muhammad in the summer.

It's time for the Bucs to help themselves... then maybe we can start talking to God again.

After living in Tampa Bay for 28 years, I have finally come to the conclusion that my goal in life is to become the back-up quarterback for the Bucs. Seriously, is there NOT a better job in Tampa Bay? Screw that, is there not a better job in the world?

You become the toast of Tampa Bay. Women want you. Men want you. Everyone wants you. Why? Because you are the answer.

I was here through the lean years. I remember the hope that was generated when the Bucs drafted Vinny Testeverde and the hope that came when he was on the bench. I remember when the Bucs drafted Trent Dilfer who was considered a steal when he fell to the Bucs and the incessant clamoring for him to get reps ahead of Craig Erickson. Sadly, I remember pushing my high school girlfriend off of me while we were babysitting two sleeping children so I could watch Dilfer take snaps in the preseason.

Sweet Mary, was I that pathetic? Yes.

But those guys had something in common. In the spirit of an election year, how do I say this diplomatically?

Oh yeah... those Buc teams sucked donkey balls. Eat your heart out, Obama. THAT'S how you address your constituents.

So here we, Bucs fans, sitting fat and sloppy at 3-1, tied for the division lead. And there's a quarterback controversy.

I should have ended that sentence with a question mark, not a period.

Why in the name of Hugh Culverhouse are Bucs fans calling for a quarterback change?

Brian Griese has engineered three consecutive wins despite six interceptions in two games. He almost breaks the NFL records for pass attempts versus the Bears. And he almost gave away the Packers game with a couple of off-target throws, but he's winning.

Testeverde never won. Dilfer won on occasion, but not consistently. Erickson, King, Spurrier, Thompson... they never won. And Bucs fans called for their heads.

Now Griese is winning... and he supposed to get the hook?

Maybe it's because of the interception numbers (and the AMOUNT alone, even though a few of them were tips and horrid attempts at catches). I will submit that anyone calling for Griese to be benched is a simpleton who only looks at the box score.

These are the same people who didn't think there was a problem with the Bucs' defense because they are ranked in the Top 10 despite the fact that they couldn't force a pick from Quinn Gray.

There's a lot more to this game than numbers. There are QBs with less INTs, more yards, and more TDs than Griese, but this is a QB who has been turned one-dimentional in almost every game and he was able to reverse-engineer victories. He also has performed WITHOUT a legitimate wide receiver who can stretch the field. That means, he's throwing timing routes and check-downs into heavy traffic because he has NO ONE to stretch the field and get a safety away from "the box." Is it any wonder why his INTs are up? There's foreign jerseys all over his throwing lanes.

There's a lot more to this game than just being ranked high. If you like high rankings and what it will get you, fall in love with the BCS and get lost. Griese is WINNING. There are quarterbacks with worse number who have won Super Bowls. Dilfer threw 12 TDs and 11 INTs in 2000 for the Ravens.

Is it possible that this team is not built around the quarterback?

Here's a little something for all you "ranking hounds." This Bucs team, is 9th in rushing and passing in the NFL through 4 games.

THEY LEAD THE NFL IN PICKS WITH 7. THEY ARE 3-1.

And for every fan calling for Griese's head, there are 5 more calling for Gruden's job. This is the same coach who had the run taken from him and won a game with the pass. He had the pass taken from him and he won the game on the ground. How do you stop a team who can be successful running AND/OR passing? It's pick your poison right now.

They're obviously doing something right.

So park your requests for Garcia to come back. Throughout the pre-season Griese looked sharp. He knows this offense inside and out. Do you realize that if Bruce Allen decided to keep Griese over Simms, this would be his 4th year in the offense? This kind of stability has NEVER been part of the Bucs' history (and technically it still isn't, but at least Griese didn't have to "re-learn" everything). Griese's job is to ration out a steady diet of 3-4 yard runs and 5-7 yard passes. This "Death by 1000 Paper Cuts" offense will just (tick) off defenses when they get 5 yards on 3rd and 4 and 9 yards on 3rd and 8.

Griese is doing just fine. Gruden won a Super Bowl with Brad Johnson and came a "tuck rule" from getting to another with Rich Gannon.

If you want Griese benched, you might be seeing Bucs football, but you aren't watching.

What happened this off-season? And I’m not talking about Brett Favre.

I don’t know if anyone else took notice of the goings-on at Raymond James Stadium on Sunday, but it is becoming increasingly apparent that the higher-ups for the Buccaneers really have no interest in doing anything to cater to the fans.

While I would never go so far as to say that the experience at RJS is one of the NFL’s “must sees” – I would call it slightly above average at best – this season is just showing me that going to the stadium and enduring triple-digit heat and double-digit beer prices is just plain not worth it anymore.

I’ve heard season ticket holders say that they are canceling their tickets because of the hike in ticket prices, and that’s fine. Personally, I don’t think that voting with your dollar in a 65,000 seat stadium really does too much for you when there is a line 100,000 long (so they say) waiting for you.

But judging from the amount of empty seats in the third level on Sunday and the number of scalpers with stacks of tickets (not two or four, stacks. Like decks of cards.) it might just be the service that is scaring people away and not the prices.

Case in point: pulling in to the HCC lot on Sunday to find a spot to tailgate, it looked as if no one was in the lot. When we rounded the corner of the building it appeared that all the cars had been pushed up toward the stadium. Very methodically, the parking lot attendants were directing cars to most eastern spot of the lot, filling in every single spot.

Now, we have a tent for tailgating, and I have always liked parking next to a median to keep my tent out of the road and to keep from blocking traffic. As I tried to ask the attendant if I could park somewhere else, he just kept interrupting me, saying, “No sir. Park here. No sir. Park here. No sir. Park here,” like a parrot.

So now you can’t park close to an exit, or under/near a tree, or close to the garbage cans or a bathroom. You get the next spot and that’s that. Okay fine. Who knows the logic behind this move?

As we were setting up a tent, two kids from the cars next to us were tossing a football. Another fan came up to them and said, “You better put that ball away.” The kid’s father asked why. The other fan said that the Tampa Police Department was writing “warning” tickets to anyone who was throwing footballs in the HCC lot! A ticket! For throwing a football … at a football tailgate party?

In the words of Vince Lombardi, “What the hell is going on around here?”

So the TPD, the very organization that has legitimate problems setting up orange cones in a straight line, is writing tickets for throwing a football. Maybe that’s why Jeff Garcia had problems last week.

On the way into the stadium, I have to find one of the gate flunkies to check my bag. I carry a shoulder sling bag into the stadium to put my cell phone, binoculars, radio, and whatever giveaway they have that week inside so I’m not all over the place at my seat (you know, since the seats at RJS are so spacious). Now, this exact bag, I’ve been carrying into the stadium for almost two years. I approached the gate with my binoculars in hand for him to check (like I always do). This toothless drunk says, “You know, this can be considered a backpack.” To which I say, “So?” He says, “You have to put this in your car.” By now, I’m a volcano and I started screaming about how I’ve had this bag and brought it into the stadium every game for almost two years and now they are giving me flack about it? So you know what I did? I walked past the guy… with the bag.

He didn’t even look inside it. He didn’t even check my binoculars.

As I reached the gate where they were checking tickets, another security guard approached me. Oddly enough, this guy was someone that I know. He was one of those security guards who my wife and I said hello to often and he always had a witty, funny comment. Now he’s telling me that the bag is a “backpack.” What the hell?

I said, no it’s not. And not only is it NOT a backpack, I’ve been approved to take it into every game for 2 years, up until today. So I kept walking.

Oddly enough, as I waited to go up the escalator, I was looking at the bags that other people were carrying. I swear, you would think some people were getting on an airplane with the size of these bags.

If you ever get stopped for a bag violation, try a different gate. Don’t EVER go back to your car.

So now the game is over, and it’s time to make our way down the escalators from the 300 level. As usual, the escalator isn’t working so we have to wait ten minutes for them to fix it (you know, for a brand new stadium, there’s a lot of broken stuff there). They finally get the escalator going and it hits the bottom floor, where there is a gate around the base of the escalator keeping us from leaving. Now my wife wanted to use the ladies room before we walked back to the car. I asked another RJS employee if we could use the bathroom. “No, you have to leave the stadium.” I say, “C’mon guy. We’re going to the bathroom.” “You have to leave. Leave now.” What the hell?

You know, why subject yourself to this? It’s really easy to say, “Ticket prices are out of control.” And you know what, they are. Spending $100.00 per seat to see a football game (and more often than not, the Bucs – win or lose – do not give you a show worth that money. I’m not ripping the team, but their brand of football is not typically high-scoring and entertaining for a full sixty minutes). But to spend that money and to get treated like a homeless person in front of Saks Fifth Avenue… seriously, it’s time to reconsider who’s getting your cash.

And the Bucs don’t care. Why should they? They have corporations lining up for those tickets. They’re raising prices every year despite that they have put marginal talent on the field with rap sheets that are more impressive than their resumes. Don’t expect people to get fired or reprimanded or anything. No one will listen anyway.

But I’m glad you guys did. Thanks.