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The Part About My Taking Vicodin Is a Joke

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Little tip for you comic-sports-bloggers-in-training: If you're about to write a news update in which it's hoped you'll drop a few jokes, I strongly advise against watching United 93 from On Demand before doing so. I'm in, like, no mood.

I mean, you should definitely see United 93. It's a great movie. Just not before you're supposed to think clearly and be funny. It's devastating.

All right, full speed ahead. Here we go.

  • As mentioned yesterday in passing, it looks like TE Jerramy Stevens is going to make the game against the Rams on Sunday. Jerramy's back at practice and, from all accounts, going full strength.

    So the Rams will be the first team this season to see the Seahawks at more or less full passing strength. Uhhhhh, provided Stevens gets through the week. I'm still nervous.

  • The latest MRIs on Shaun Alexander's non-displaced foot fracture (I never get tired of saying that phrase) have shown that it's getting smaller. You can't even see it from airplanes now. (Hey! There's a joke! I'm back!)

    The absolute last word I heard on whether Shaun will play on Sunday is "we'll see." I think it was Holmgren who said that. Sunday night, Shaun was definitely not playing. Monday night, it was back to "probably not." Tonight, it's "not expected." At this rate, Wednesday night it should be "Fracture? What fracture?"

    Personally, I think he should sit Sunday. I suspect our running game will have better luck against the Rams' defense than we did in Soldier Field, in that game I have conveniently forgotten about. Morris and Strong should just run in place for the week, excuse the pun.

  • One of the better get-your-head-out-of-the-oven pieces re: the Chicago loss comes from the P-I's Ted Miller:
    That blowout defeat allows fans and media to fret and hyperventilate and then brush Game 5 with broad and hyperbolic strokes.

    It allows us to proclaim the visit to St. Louis on Sunday a critical statement game, one that either corrects -- see, nothing to worry about! -- or reinforces the present negative trajectory...

    Of course, the Rams' early success might merely be a mirage. The combined record of their five opponents is 6-17. Their impressive season-opening victory over Denver was cheapened a week later by an embarrassing defeat at San Francisco.

    They've beaten the Cardinals, Lions and Packers, a troika of terrible, by a combined 12 points.

    In other words, their success is no more or no less distinguished thus far than the Seahawks, who have posted a quality victory (New York Giants) a humiliating loss (see above) and handled the Lions and Cardinals in fair-to-middling fashion.

    The Seahawks not only need this victory to establish dominance in their division, they also need to prove they can beat teams with a pulse on the road.

    Somewhere in there is a clearly stated kernel of hope and inspiration. I'll dig around for it later after the Vicodin I took after United 93 wears off.