I'm promoting my weekly picks to front-page status for two reasons: (A) to encourage you all to make your own picks in the comments more easily, and (B) because I'm actually doing pretty well with these this year. I'm outguessing all of ESPN's experts. Ju$t in ca$e any of you big-time major internet $port$ companie$ are paying attention. That'$ all. Have a $well day.
Buffalo at Detroit - I believe there are certain situations where they should just ignore the per-person beer sales restriction at football games. For example: All Bills and Lions fans this season should be allowed to kill the pain. Pick: Detroit.
Carolina at Baltimore - Two teams on a major upswing, even with Baltimore losing to Denver Monday night. The Ravens were great on defense for three and a half quarters under oppressive and hostile conditions. I, being the Decider, will go with that. I believe in the Ravens a little more than I believe the Panthers are headed for 4-2. Pick: Baltimore, with reservations.
NY Giants at Atlanta - I've been feeling the Falcons are due to get exposed at home sometime soon but it just keeps on not happening. One more week isn't gonna kill me, I suppose. Pick: New York. I'm nowhere near certain on that.
Houston at Dallas - Crap, the Texans are playing again. That means the winner of this game will be whoever I don't pick. I am required by religious law to go with very obvious common sense. Pick: Dallas.
Tennessee at Washington - I felt better about this pick before the Giants carjacked Mark Brunell last week. I give the Titans' coming-out gala for Vince Young three or four more weeks to produce scoreboard results. But I'll acknowledge he could bum-rush me against the Redskins. Pick: Washington.
Cincinnati at Tampa Bay - I don't have any real explanation for the Bengals losing at home to New England, except for Patriot Mystique, which is also responsible for the disappearance of several small fishing boats off the coast of Maine every once in awhile. The Buccaneers do not possess this charisma. You'll be making KFC runs by the third quarter. If you like chicken. Pick: Cincinnati.
Philadelphia at New Orleans - Hands up, everyone who thought this would wind up being one of Week 6's marquee games. Put your hand down. You're lying. I know I gave the Saints a huge valentine last week, and every impulse in my body is telling me to pick 'em here just to see what happens. But I'm afraid I can't. McNabb is back on top, Westbrook is teleporting himself into the end zone, and I don't see the Saints' D changing them into little eaglets. When I break out the bird metaphors, you can tell my mind's made up. I hope it'll be close though. Pick: Philadelphia.
Seattle at St. Louis - You're not gonna hang me for this one. No sir. Pick: Seattle.
Miami at NY Jets - Harrington vs. Pennington, in a QB battle only a British legal partnership could love! Man, it feels very, very wrong to pick the Dolphins winning so much as a marbles tournament, but I just can't see the Jets taking care of business here. Pick: Miami, with great reluctance.
Kansas City at Pittsburgh - You think anyone's more pissed off than Ben Rothlisberger, 0-3 this season, right now? You think Damon Huard is KC's Tom Brady at age 33? Yeah, I thought your answer would be "no," too. I think the notion of "statement games" is a little spurious, but if there's a statement to be made this week, the Steelers are the ones that have to step up to the mic. Seriously. Pick: Pittsburgh.
San Diego at San Francisco - Thank you, San Francisco, for keeping me alive in my Survivor game last week by beating the Raiders. Now you have to play a real team. Pick: San Diego.
Oakland at Denver - Any comment I might make about this matchup would insult your intelligence. Pick: Denver
Chicago at Arizona - See Oakland at Denver. I don't have the spare breath. Pick: Chicago.
Last Week: 12-2.