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Holmgren Masters Midwest Euphemisms, Pronounces Hasselbeck Just Fine

Coach Holmgren had a press conference this afternoon. See if you can find my favorite part of this story. Under normal circumstances it would be the Watergate reference, but it's not.

Illustration/composite by Capt. Morgan, Geewillickers Graphics Inc. Call for estimates.
Matt Hasselbeck has a bruised hand, perhaps even a broken finger.

But the standard for Seahawks fractures, infections and hospitalizations has been set ridiculously high during Seattle's season of attrition. So a Pro Bowl quarterback's mangled pinkie on his non-throwing hand has Hasselbeck listed as probable for Sunday night's game at Denver?

"He's fine," smirking, playful coach Mike Holmgren said Wednesday, before marveling at breathless reports over Hasselbeck's minor injury that began circulating Seattle late Tuesday.

"Goodness gracious. I mean, I'd be the last one to be critical of these Watergate-type investigative reporters, because I think that was a very important time in our history. It was important that story came out.

"THIS, however, is not one of those situations. ... So in an effort to 'break the big one,' I am going on record saying this is not that big a deal. OK?

"Golly sakes."

Banners. I see giant "Golly sakes" banners for the Dec. 14 game. Someone make it so.

Also, back-backup fullback Josh Parry has been placed on injured reserve. TE Bennie Joppru, from the University of Michigan, was snatched from the Bears' practice squad to take his place.

Can "gee willickers" be far behind?