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Oakland: The Littlest Angels

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It was really a sweet-natured, family evening tonight at the Q. And I do mean "family."

Sitting in Section 328, I was stunned at how small a world it really is. Seriously -- it seemed every for every Raider fan, there were at least two Seahawk fans who knew his mother.

Not only that, but they remembered stunning physicial characteristics -- particularly flexibility -- of their moms, too, along with their dietary habits. I thought Eight Is Enough was family TV! (Although, from what I heard, for one certain person wearing a Moss jersey, eight was in fact too little for his mom...)

Geez, dudes. What can you say? The Seahawks shut out the Raiders 16-0 on the strength of nine sacks and inordinate amounts of patience. Maurice Morris crossed the century mark in yardage, Seneca Wallace did not implode, and everything was well-paced and slow. Which is good, because I think the people a few rows behind William and me were smoking something that kind of mandated that time go by slowly.

This game did answer the musical question, "When is a 16-0 shutout of our most favorite Christmas card recipients not exactly the whoop of joy it should be?"

It was everything it should have been. A get-well game for the Seahawks defense, against one of the worst offenses I've ever seen in my nearly nine decades of existence. A breakout 100-yard game for Maurice Morris. A good example of how Seneca Wallace can control a game plan. A chance for fans to make several jokes containing the words and/or phrases "Raiders," "suck," "mama," "crack whore," "combat boots," "terrible table manners," "I got Rev. Ted Haggard on the phone and he wants to place an order," and "still suck."

The defense took it to the Raiders for nine sacks of quarterback Andrew Walter. Craig Terrill had 3, Grant Wistrom had 2, Rocky Bernard had 2, Julian Peterson had 1, Tatupu and Darby had half a sack each, and I believe the soul of Cortez Kennedy came out of retirement and got credit for a quarter. Ecstasy-raising numbers, indeed, but more or less what was expected.

Seneca did a great impression of Steve Young, scrambling for a 37-yard burst that was -- tell me you didn't see this coming -- the Seahawks' longest run from scrimmage this season. Morris swallowed up 138 yards on the ground.

It was really kind of boring, uninspired, long football. The classic case of a "we'll take it" win, which we will, in fact.

I'm giving my offensive game ball, which is only about 20% smaller than Holmgren's game ball, to Maurice Morris, because I may not have another chance to do so all season. He made the most of his breaks, had some good speed, and didn't cough up the ball. I'd rather give the ball to D.J. Hackett, but I'm giving it to Morris.

I'm giving the defensive game ball to the Oakland offensive line. I mean, really.

There were more than a few strong words coming from my section for one Jerramy Stevens. They were not entirely undeserved. Otherwise, I felt everyone was saving their energies for the upcoming, much more crucial game against the Rams on Sunday, and the dates that various 12th men apparently made with the mothers of Raiders fans.

More jokes throughout Tuesday.