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(The Rest of) Shrug's Quick & Dismissive NFL Picks: Week 13

We got one under our belts already, as the Bengals beat the Ravens 13-7. I saw that one coming a mile away. Miles, you hear me?

Here are the other games.

Arizona at St. Louis - A divisional contest to decide who's taking out the trash. Cardinals, oh Cardinals -- you've let down more retirees than Enron.
     Pick: St. Louis.

Atlanta at Washington - As penalty for his middle-finger salute to Falcons fans last week, Michael Vick has been ordered to assist with some charities. Atlanta's receivers, unfortunately, are not considered eligible charities.
     Pick: Washington.

Dallas at New York Giants - Let's see. We have a Cowboys squad that has overcome its dysfunction and is realizing its potential, going up against a Giants squad that has squandered its potential and is succumbing to its dysfunction. Is this a trick question?
     Pick: Dallas.

Detroit at New England - You lost me at "Detroit."
     Pick: New England.

Indianapolis at Tennessee - In the end, I cannot pick against the Colts. But this game came millimeters away from being my upset special. The Titans gave the Colts a hard time a few weeks ago in the RCA Dome, before finally losing 14-13. Last week in Nashville, the Titans came back from 21 points down to defeat the New Jersey Existentialists. So maybe if you're out this weekend, you have a couple drinks, you're feeling a little loose with your daughter's trust fund, maybe you can pick the Titans. As for me, my daughter has no trust fund.
     Pick: Indianapolis.

Jacksonville at Miami - Want to fall out of your seat? Try this: The Dolphins have the second-longest active winning streak in the NFL, at four games. (San Diego has five.) In case you haven't broken your hip yet, all those wins have been at the hands of Joey Harrington. In case you haven't yet had your coronary, the first of those four wins was against the Bears, in Chicago. I have no space left to write about the Jaguars, which was kind of my goal.
     Pick: Miami, but it's close.

Kansas City at Cleveland - I searched for a reason to pick Cleveland in this game. The only rationale I could come up with was that Cleveland has better access to ports than Kansas City. Then I remembered that Lake Erie is not typically a favorite trade route. So I gave up and went back with conventional wisdom. I actually have these thought processes. That's very disturbing.
     Pick: Kansas City.

Minnesota at Chicago - Rex Grossman's TD-INT ratio, in his first 5 games this year: 10-3. In his last 6 games: 8-11. In three of his last six games, his QB rating was less than 37.0, including last week's 23.6 showing against the Patriots. Right behind Grossman in the season QB ratings is... Brad Johnson of the Vikings. Maybe this is going out on a limb here, but I smell a ground game.
     Pick: Chicago.

New York Jets at Green Bay - I haven't got a clue. I flipped a coin.
     Pick: Green Bay.

San Diego at Buffalo - About the most foreboding thing you could say to San Diego about this game is that they shouldn't overlook or underestimate the capabilities of the Bills.
     Wait... Shawn Merriman's back? Oh... okay. Then San Diego can totally overlook and underestimate the capabilities of the Bills.
     Pick: San Diego.

San Francisco at New Orleans - Just wondering something: Have the Saints ever had what could be considered an honest-to-God rivalry? Seriously, think about this. Even in the old NFC West, where the Niners and Saints both played, was there ever a time that people circled games against New Orleans on their calendars in advance of the season, saying in effect "We can't miss that game! It's the Saints!!!"
     I don't think the Saints have ever had a rivalry. Not like Raiders-Broncos, or Steelers-Dolphins, or Niners-Rams, or Niners-Cowboys, or Cowboys-Redskins.
     That's the only angle I care to address about this game.
     Pick: New Orleans.

Tampa Bay at Pittsburgh - Forget the 2000 Denver Broncos and their record plummet after winning their second Super Bowl. The Steelers' collapse this year is the steepest fall from grace in the Super Bowl era. I suspect some of you faithful readers are at least somewhat pleased about that. However, Tampa Bay still blows.
     Pick: Pittsburgh.

Houston at Oakland - In case you were wondering, this is not Week 13's Sunday night "flex game."
     Pick: Oakland.

Seattle at Denver - Before the season started, this was one of the games many people thought would be the Seahawks' toughest test of the year. It was almost always factored in as one of their sure losses. But then the Broncos named Jay Cutler, with zero NFL experience, as the starting QB against Seattle. It's the thought that counts.
     Pick: Seattle.

Carolina at Philadelphia - It's a rematch of the 2003-04 NFC Championship Game. Forgive us if the fever pitch anticipation is a little on the tepid side.
     Pick: Carolina.

Last week: 11-5. Best result since Week 5.

Season: 108-68. (109-68, if you count tonight's Bengals-Ravens game. Sucka.)