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Wednesday Night Roundup of News Stories Containing the Word "Seahawks"

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  • Seahawk.net's Greg Regnick writes a rather touching paean to the maturation of Matt Hasselbeck on Scouts.com. It's surprisingly moving. I'm not being the least bit sarcastic about that. Unlike the next item:
  • Empowered by the results of their life-and-death struggle with the Seahawks to control all future uses of the words "twelfth," "man," and possibly "the," Texas A&M is now going after Yahoo!, requesting that the ubersite cease using the apparently controversial phrase "The 12th Man" for their World Cup reports.

    From what I can tell on the referred page, the content is copyrighted by FIFA, not Yahoo! FIFA is headquartered in Zurich, a Swiss city that almost certainly does not have a heavy contingent of Aggie alumni.

    I know, I know, "12th Man" is A&M's copyright. So is Fox News's "Fair and Balanced." Don't the legal staffers at Texas A&M ever worry about looking like insolent, parsimonious twits? Have their bakesales not brought in enough money? Did concession sales at Aggie games perform below expectations? Will future history books show Joe Namath's number as "13"?

    In other news, all existing video copies of Sidney Lumet's movie Twelve Angry Men have been recalled so their titles may be altered to Eleven Angry Men and One Who Was Just Being Prissy.

  • Seahawks signee and NFL Europe player Gabe Lindstrom tells his hometown paper that he's ready to go mano-a-mano with draftee Ryan Plackemeier, in competition for the Seahawks' open position of punter.

    Someone get crackin' on the pay-per-view rights! "Bloodfoot '06!"

  • As a musician, I'm heartened to report this next item. The Seahawks are teaming up with Wright Way Moving and Storage -- the agents for Mayflower Moving Lines -- to create the largest bass drum in the world.

    The drum is named RUMBLE. (All-caps theirs.) It will be employed by Blue Thunder next season in their drum performances. RUMBLE is a reverberating 100 inches in diameter, which is 4 inches bigger than the next largest bass drum. In your face, triangle players! No word yet on whether RUMBLE will be signed to the Seahawks' practice squad at right guard.

    Don't make RUMBLE angry.

    You wouldn't like RUMBLE when it's angry.