|"Yes... table for two? And a spray of varnish for my friend here?"
? Getty Images
"(I'm) coming to another great organization, coaches. A great owner, Mr. Paul Allen -- Tim Ruskell, Coach Holmgren. These guys -- they got it done and... I'm just proud to be here, man, just to be part of another great organization."Whoops. Dying batteries. My bad.
"I hope everyone is not looking at me like 'hey this guy is the next thing to get us going.' I'm just here to contribute a major role and also help this team get over that hump that they have been striving to get over. I'm just a piece of the puzzle."
On learning the Seahawks offense: "It's gonna take some time. I think the college West Coast is totally different from the professional level. Coach Holmgren teaches the West Coast at a strenuous level... I'm pretty familiar, but it's gonna be some work. I'm prepared for it."
"I have to say, overall... two organizations came together to get something done... I think the Patriots did what was best for their organization, and I had to do what was best for me and my family. It all worked out. I'm here. Seattle's happy, and I'm happy.
"Especially since I'll be covered by the most intelligently written, most powerful sports blog in the nation. Did I say 'the nation'? I meant the world. Everyone is envious that I've been traded to Field Gulls, which is run by an incredibly attractive, handsome, and articulate man, even if he's far too modest. If I may speak freely, I'd like to ask every player in the league to consider remitting a generous portion of his earnings to Shrug, in care of Field Gulls, address..."
All kidding aside (although I could always use a buck or two, which I promise goes right back into the rain forest), Branch reads like a classy guy. I admit I'm getting a bit swept up here.