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Weekend News Recap: Cinco De Mayo

It's my favorite culturally appropriated party day (so much rowdier than Bastille Day) so before you pound tequila and some strangers' face, here's your weekly Seahawks/NFL recap.

Hass is back: The Hawks are so much more fun to watch when Hasselbeck is healthy, and he's using his rehab as an opportunity to get into great shape and develop a rapport with Deion Branch and Nate Burleson. Holmgren's system isn't complicated, but it is tremendously precise. If Branch and Burleson can get in sync with Timmy (ne Matt), this offense will be a thing of beauty.

Also mentioned: Jordan Babineaux signs his one year tender. As long as he brings his helmet.

Chris Spencer battling post-op shoulder stiffness: Starting center, Chris Spencer, is suffering complication from his off season shoulder surgery that may require a second surgery to correct. It's all quiet on the Marcus Tubbs front, for now, but Seattle now has two essential interior linemen with suspect health. It's far from panic time for Spencer, but the agile first rounder is the Hawks best offensive lineman behind Walter Jones and best pulling linemen, period. His play was essential to a rushing attack that found a lot of success up the gut against the Chicago Bears' vaunted defense. Horry Chris Gray is currently subbing for Spencer, but expect newly attained O-lineman Steve Vallos to see increased playing time at center if Spencer's injuries persist. This is story worthy monitoring.

Brown Signs Tender: This was a foregone conclusion. Not much to add, Brown will be making too much money this year, but this was the best move for all involved. Expect Brown to sign a more reasonable contract next off season after a less heroic, but still awesome, performance.

And finally, the first annual Field Gulls Scout Speak Mad Libs Contest:

Just fill in these sections.

Player Name:
Performance Describing Verb:
NFL Position:
Ability Mentioning a Specific Body Part:
Arcane Description of an NFL Situation:
Verb Meaning Demonstrated:
Military Analogy:
NFL Legend:
Place on Field:
Size/Quality Description 1:
Vaguely Homoerotic/Silly Term used for Body Part:
Size/Quality Description 2:
Blatantly Homoerotic Term used for Body Part:
Past or Present NFL Player:
Negative Behavior:
Positive Behavior:
Temperature Based Adjective:
Any Event or Incident:

Winner gets to share a cell with Paris Hilton.

<Player Name> has the tools to <performance describing verb> as a(n) <NFL position> but must improve his <ability mentioning a specific body part> when <arcane description of an NFL situation>. At <college> he <verb meaning demonstrated> the ability to <military analogy>. Has the <adjective> to develop into a(n) <NFL legend>-like force <place on the field>.  Possesses the <Size/quality description> <Vaguely homoerotic/silly term used for a body part> and the <size/quality description> <blatantly homoerotic term used for body part> of a young <NFL legend>. Must learn to stop <negative behavior> and spend more time <positive behavior> while maintaining his <heat based adjective> <activity>. <Player Name> missed two games his junior season for <any event or incident>.