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Matt Hasselbeck Practices

It's a sad testament to the decline of the USA that we are so far behind Europe in television technology. We've ceded education, health care and quality of life, but television is part of the American psyche. The Simpsons, an animated television show broadcast on Fox, is arguably the most important cultural achievement of our generation. America is TV and TV, America. So why the heck is Comcast Red Zone in low definition?

Okay, I don't have Red Zone and I don't have a high definition television. I'm forced to pick out players from the murk and moire blur of standard def. It sucks. Will fans across the country see Seattle's intrepid signal caller lobbing ducks in the end zone on COMCAST"S Terrific Product, first he'll need to take the field.

Part of SBN's contract with Comcast is that write a post about the Seahawks and fold the Red Zone product into the post. That makes me sick inside. As does reporting on Matt Hasselbeck's health. But it's part of doing the job. Look, it's a humble, self-effacing quote from Matt about his practice today:

"I want to be fair to the team," Hasselbeck said. "I want to give everybody everything I've got, and hopefully I'll be out there. But at the same time, I want to be fair to Seneca, if for some reason I'm not able to go, then he needs to prepare to play. Today was a good start, we'll see how tomorrow goes."

That sounds like NFL fans won't be seeing Matt in nauseating low def. Maybe it's better that way. The frame rate necessary to display his wobblers is known to break older model TVs. Instead, fans will not get the glory of Seneca Wallace's immaculately manicured facial hair on COMCAST's Terrific RED ZONE Product, but a blury, swarthy stranger in a sea of blue, unidentifiable muck. How about getting that fixed, nation's largest cable provider. It's a national insult that AMERICA's National Passion is broadcast in Burmese quality video. Did Comcast outsource their crew to 1962?

Hasselbeck practiced. Product shillling over. Another post in the crapper. Maybe I just wasn't made for these times.