clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:

The New York Times Pushes Print Media Closer to Death

New, comments

Print media had every chance to weather the internet revolution and take the lead in the future of journalism. Instead, pieces like this, Andy Benoit's "State of the Seahawks: What the 2009 Film Revealed", are exactly why I have a job. Maybe the film Benoit refers to is some kind of early-stage cataract.

It's chic these days to say Seattle needs to part ways with Matt Hasselbeck. But that would be foolish.

That's right, Andy, all the cool kids are hating on Matt. We hate on Matt while listening to Vampire Weekend on our Ipods. We hate on Matt through our thick framed black glasses. We hate on Matt in our vintage Levis purchased on the Ebay. We hate on Matt over our micro-brews. It's cool, we're cool, and we're sorry you're not, bro-hammer.

Hasselbeck was healthy enough to start 14 games in 2009.

And starting is what matters. Sure, he appeared on the NFL injury report nine times for injuries to his throwing shoulder and broken ribs, and those injuries clearly had a debilitating impact on his game, but when you're 34 and fresh off a season you missed nine game, starting is really all that matters. "Healthy", that's how any reasonable person would describe Hasselbeck's 2009.

Yes, he had a career-high 17 interceptions, but eight of them came in two awful outings.

And the immutable laws of statistics state that if eight of anything happens in two games, we must discount the importance of those eight, regress to the mean and run our standard deviations again. Interceptions are only meaningful if they are spread out evenly. The New York Times is frustrated by your ignorance.

Hasselbeck still showed accuracy...

He ranked 21st in completion percentage.

pocket poise...

Um.

and an innate feel for the West Coast offense.

Oh, an "innate feel", that's like being a gamer but in a sophisticated, cosmopolitan way. Amazingly, his "innate feel for the West Coast offense" produced one of the worst passing offenses in the NFL. Maybe Matt innately felt it was time for Bill Walsh's grand invention to suck. That my friends is vision.

Until late in the year, Marcus Trufant was clearly bothered by his lingering knee problems.

Fun fact, Trufant has not suffered a knee injury since 2003. That sucker must have really lingered. And on top of his back injury? Tru is some kind of warrior.

Trufant will be fine, but there's a hole at the No. 2 slot. With cautious safeties like Deon Grant and Jordan Babineaux, Seattle needs a playmaker outside. Josh Wilson isn't instinctive or quick enough to be this guy.

I've pondered it for a while, but despite all m' cogitatin', I just couldn't put my finger on what was wrong with Jordan Babineaux. Andy nailed it. Babs is just too damn cautious. We need some kind of playmaker. A player that makes plays.

Wilson is slow, and whatever instinctive means, not that.

3. Guard

This team hasn't been the same since losing Steve Hutchinson.

Good work, Times! That's some research and depth of opinion.

With a new front office and coaching staff, the Seahawks may be willing to admit that last year's second-round pick, Max Unger, doesn't have enough strength to thrive in the N.F.L.

A new front office and coaching staff should give up on a rookie because Andy Benoit is convinced he lacks the strength to thrive in the NFL. Yep.

Most people believe Seattle needs to find Walter Jones's replacement. That'd be nice, but they can survive with Sean Locklear at LT and Ray Willis at RT.

If this offensive line has any position it can build off of, it's clearly tackle. I think what I like most about Locklear is not his consistent health, but his consistent effort.

Well, we've defended Hasselbeck, so we can check that off the list. We mentioned Hutch, check. That leaves taking a swipe at Housh's character...

4. Wide Receiver

T.J. Houshmandzadeh might think he's God's gift to the receiver role

Check.

And misspelling a player's name...

Deion Branch is strictly a slot weapon, and last year's third-round rookie Deion Butler didn't earn significant playing time.

Check.

This is why the New York Times is the standard bearer for journalism: Insight, factual accuracy and intelligent writing. Banish the thought that the Times only motivation was to get a well trafficked site to link to a struggling, irrelevant blog. That would be a cynical cash grab beneath The Gray Lady.

Gray indeed.