Those of you who have known me long enough know of my obsession with TV Tropes, a wonderful site dedicated to collecting all the tools and tricks used to tell a story. Despite its name, they have branched out beyond TV into just about every entertainment medium you can imagine, and have become infamous for ruining people's lives.
So I plan to do the same, by collecting a semi-complete list of most things related to the Seahawks. This list is most definitely not a final compilation of Seahawk tropes. If any of you are fellow tropers, or think I missed something obvious, then do help out. Let's dive in.
Tropes Related to Current Players, Coaches and Execs
Matt Hasselbeck
Badass Boast - "We want the ball and we're going to score." It later backfired on him; see below.
Bald of Awesome
Face of the Band
Getting Too Old For This - Everybody knows about his decline. The real debate concerns his eventual replacement.
The Hero
Hotblooded - His "Mic'd Up" segments are a blast to listen to, thanks to Matt's pure fire-breathing passion.
Never Live It Down - After making his boast above, he throws a pick-six on the very first play to lose the game. Nobody has ever let him forget it since then.
Charlie Whitehurst
Badass Beard
Badass Longhair
Carpet Of Virility - We can only assume he has one
Memetic Badass
Rated M For Manly
Marshawn Lynch
The Big Guy
Crowning Moment of Awesome - "Beast Quake." Nothing more needs to be said.
Fan Nickname - Beast Mode. Thanks to KSK, sometimes it's "BEEF MOE".
Hulk Speak - As if "BEEF MOE" wasn't enough of a clue.
Mike Williams
The Big Guy - On the WR corps, at least.
Deadpan Snarker - Some of his tweets come off like this.
Fan Nickname - BMW (Big Mike Williams) or BMFMW (Big Mother Fucking Mike Williams)
Growing The Beard - After literally eating himself out of the league (thanks, Billick!), Williams got his shit together and is now a valuable asset with Seattle.
Ben Obomanu
My Name Is Not Durwood - some 2010 broadcasters kept pronouncing his name "Obama-knew".
Took A Level In Badass - A 7th round pick in 2006, Obo contributed little to the team beyond special teams. In 2010, the new regime unexpectatedly gave him a larger role, and he ran with it to much praise. Now he is considered the #2 WR behind BMW.
Golden Tate
The Ditz - And how!
Fan Nickname - The Golden Retriver.
Brandon Mebane
Ensemble Darkhorse - Thanks to John Morgan's Entry Pimping, we are all in love with Bane.
Fan Nickname - ME! BANE!
Aaron Curry
Hoist By His Own Petard - Curry's primal bloodlust sometimes leads to him biting on play-actions and leaving his assignment.
Hotblooded - And how!
Idiot Ball - He carries this more than the fans would like to see.
Lofa Tatupu
Face Of The Band - On the defensive side.
Getting Too Old For This - He has noticebly lost a step despite being only 28 years old.
The Heart - His defensive signal-calling has become endearing to fans.
David Hawthorne
Ensenbme Darkhorse - He doesn't get much attention despite being arguably the best LB on the team.
Fan Nickname - Heater.
Kelly Jennings
The Load
The Scrappy
Lawyer Milloy
Cool Old Guy
Getting Too Old For This - There are rumors he may retire.
Olindo Mare
Cool Old Guy
Ensemble Darkhorse - Touchbacks are still an under-appreciated skill, so Mare's savvy in that department made him popular with fans who are paying attention.
Jon Ryan
The Chick - This is the default category for punters, but Ryan is better than average.
Fiery Redhead
Pete Carroll
Attention Deficit...Ooh Shiny!
The Man Behind The Man - John Schneider is ostensibly the GM, but Carroll also has the President title. Who has more power than the other? This is still a hot-button issue.
Paul Allen
Cool Old Guy
Reasonable Authority Figure - With lots of cash flow, a commitment to the fan experience, and a hands-off approach to team operations, Allen is one of the most respected owners in the NFL.
Tropes Related to Former Players, Coaches and Execs
Cortez Kennedy
Crowning Moment of Awesome - Winning the Defensive Player of the Year on a team that went 2-14, with a historically miserable offense. You wouldn't dream of a player from an awful team getting an award like that these days.
Dude Where's My Respect - He's still not in the Hall of Fame. Fix this error promptly, HOF voters.
Fan Nickname - "Tez"
Surrounded By Idiots - He had to have felt this way in the '92 season.
Walter Jones
Boisterous Bruiser - On the field, Big Walt was the meanest motherfucker you will ever see. Off the field, he's one of the nicest, soft-spoken guys you will ever see. This is why we love him, of course.
Brian Bosworth
Dork Age - His acting career didn't exactly take off.
Never Live It Down - "Bo vs. Boz." As John noted in his book, this wasn't Boz' fault; the play broke down long before he had to make the TD-saving tackle. But it's still ingrained in people's minds as Bo running over Boz. Oh well.
Deion Branch
Memetic Outfit - His bright neon gloves were an instant hit with the fanbase.
Your Mileage May Vary - Branch's Seahawks legacy is still a matter of debate amongst fans.
Josh Brown
Face Heel Turn - Instantly became villainized after signing with a division rival. Fans still boo him whenever the Rams come to town.
Hidden Badass - Kickers aren't known for being badass, but Brown made sure to be involved in every kickoff play, and famously put a big hit on Devin Hester.
Ken Behring
Big Bad
Corrupt Corporate Executive
Evil Overlord
Mike Holmgren
And The Fandom Rejoiced - The general reaction to his hire back in the day.
Fan Nickname - The Walrus
The Man Behind The Man - His power struggle with Tim Ruskell is a poorly-kept secret, and some people suspect that certain decisions (keeping Matt when he was clearly declining, for one) were made more to appease him than for the better good of the franchise.
Jim Mora
Jerkass
Memetic Mutation - From now on, every Seahawk player needs to be a dirtbag.
Tropes Relating to General Seahawks Fandom
Berserk Button - Topics you don't want to discuss with a Seahawk fan include: Ken Behring, John Elway, Rick Mirer, the '92 season, John Elway, Super Bowl XL, the Steelers in general, John Elway, Brian Russell, Jerramy Stevens, and John Elway.
Dork Age - The Ken Behring era in general. The Dennis Erickson era didn't have much to be proud of either. And they just entered another one in 2008. Whether Pete Carroll and John Schneider can pull them out of it remains to be seen.
Fan Community Nickname - The 12th man.
They Changed It Now It Sucks - The new all-blue uniforms have been less than embraced. Some have gotten used to it, while some still pine for the silver helmet and pants. As usual, Your Mileage May Vary.
Zerg Rush - John Marshall's favorite blitz package.