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Get To Know A Seattle Seahawk: Mark LeGree

WATAUGA DEMOCRAT, 11/4/2008 -- Appalachian State defensive back Mark Legree (#13, above) is pictured as he prepares to roll a vanquished opponent into sushi for a post-game meal.

Photo by Rob Moore.
WATAUGA DEMOCRAT, 11/4/2008 -- Appalachian State defensive back Mark Legree (#13, above) is pictured as he prepares to roll a vanquished opponent into sushi for a post-game meal. Photo by Rob Moore.

The name flashed on the screen as Mel Kiper and Trent Dilfer talked about something else. The Seattle Seahawks had made their selection and none of us had ever heard of him. It's cool they grabbed a safety, cuz that was a position of need, but it didn't seem like an FCSer in the 5th round was going to be much of a difference maker. If anything, I thought, maybe he can make it as a special teams guy or, best case scenario, work his way onto the field in nickel/dime situations. Just another draft-pick with little-to-zero name recognition that we were going to have to hope ends up being a sleeper.

After the draft meandered to a close, I set about looking into some of the 'Hawks selections, seeing as almost nobody predicted any of these guys ending up in Seattle. Get the little guy out of the way first, I told myself, and started looking at the small-school kid with a funny name. There wasn't much out there in the way of video highlights and he didn't seem to come out of school with the cult-following that a lot of smaller school prospects have. I began to get discouraged, thinking LeGree was an even bigger reach than I feared. If he's so good, where's all the fanfare?

Then I discovered this video. I avoided it at first because the quality makes it look like someone taped a copy of the Zapruder film through garden meshing and the song makes the whole thing seem like a joke, but I pressed on despite the obstacle, as heroes are inclined to do, and I'm nothing if not a hero.

(The video is embedded below the jump)

Mark LeGree #13 (via ZC4president)

I know the first thing you guys will comment on is the music for the video, but before you freak out, know that the song originally picked for the video was this, and that it only sounds like Miley Cyrus compared to the fury that LeGree displays on the field.

I was wondering if LeGree has what it takes to make an NFL team. As it turns out, he hits harder than shots of bad tequila. Mark LeGree doesn't tackle people, he obliterates their insides while leaving the skin intact. He turns skeletons into gelatin, leaving opposing ballcarriers feeling like beanbag chairs. LeGree goes after opponents like they just slapped his mama. Rumor has it he corners the other team's quarterback before games and makes him apologize for being born. He wears #13 because that omen of misfortune was the only number badass enough to stay on his jersey.

As if being able to hit like Thor's hammer wasn't enough, LeGree has a crazy sense for the ball. LeGree can claim an insane 22 interceptions in his collegiate career, more than any other active player. Not even your worst girlfriend has ripped off more balls than Mark has. LeGree led the nation in interceptions for two consecutive years, despite offenses doing everything they can to keep the ball away from his side* of the field. Unfortunately, no game-plan can adequately account for a safety with a first step like a cartoon slingshot

*Mark LeGree's "side" of the field is actually the whole field.

LeGree has some versatility, as he played both safety positions at App St (probably at the same time), and can straight high-point the shit out of a ball. His list of accomplishments is longer than the US Census report: he was named FCS First-Team All-American twice, led the Southern Conference in interceptions for three straight years, and was the only FCS player nominated for the Bronko Nagurski Trophy, given annually to the best defensive player in the country. He was a three-time Buck Buchanon Award finalist, team captain, and is the all-time leader in slapping that weak shit out yo' mouth. I can go on, but why bother?

I'm not going to sit here and tell you that Mark LeGree will be a Hall of Fame NFL safety. I'm just telling you that if he doesn't it's because he's too busy with his night job.