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The 2011 Seattle Seahawks Season: All I Want Is Everything I Ask For

There are some things we all want out of next football season. They are the same things every fan of every team wants every year -- double-digit wins, a deep playoff run, a Super Bowl championship, etc. Those wishes are the driving forces and ultimate ideals of fanhood, but there are a lot of other events and developments that happen along the way. After all, it's likely that less than a third of the teams in the NFL will win ten or more regular season games. Just four teams will have what I would consider a "deep" playoff run. Only one will hoist the Lombardi Trophy.

I wish all of these things for the Seattle Seahawks, just like I wish Facebook had a filter for cooking-related status updates and Taylor Swift song lyrics. In 2005, we realized almost all of those universal fan-wishes, as the Seahawks won 13 games and made it to their first-ever Super Bowl, only to lose as disappointingly and anti-climatically as when we found out that Kevin didn't end up with Winnie. That said, there are a few other things listed after the jump that I would like to see from the 'Hawks in the 2011 football season, namely:

*That Century Link Field gets loud enough to shake the Columbia Tower and freak out all the people on the 73rd floor observation deck.

*That Leon Washington flips the bird to the new kick-off rules and houses a few anyway.

*That the Seahawks develop a consistent pass-rush without having to blitz a 37 year-old safety.

*That Golden Tate gets five touches a game. Also, that he's mic'd up so I can find out if he really giggles the whole time he has the ball like I imagine.

*That Pete Carroll grows a beard.

*That they stop doing that cheesy glowing green eye graphic on the Jumbotron for every. single. third. down.

*That Brandon Mebane re-signs with the team.

*That Marshawn Lynch, Colin Cole, Tom Cable, and this guy get their own round-table talk show, a la "The View."

*That Gus Johnson gets to call at least one 'Hawks game, and that the team gives him a worthy ending to that game.

*That they beat the shit out of the Pittsburgh Steelers.

*Just once, I want to re-transmit or re-broadcast a game without the express written consent of the National Football League and its commissioner.

*That the youngbloods (Tate, James Carpenter, John Moffitt, Mark LeGree, Aaron Curry, et al) show that they'll be a part of this team for a long time.

*That Red Bryant comes back fully healthy.

*That the Jay Cutler Face drinking game becomes popular. Also works with Phillip Rivers.

*That Seattle gets Carson Palmer for a 3rd and a 5th.

*That the offensive line goes into Cobra Kai mode. Strike first, strike hard, no mercy.

*That we see the return of the Lofa Tatupu that they originally drafted.

*That Seattle wins the NFC West without having to add a qualifier.

*That Lynch and Justin Forsett have room to run.

*That Carroll gets the guys he likes and keeps them around long enough for us to get to know them, i.e., less than 700 roster moves.

*That Mama Blue finds true happiness.

*That the regular season remains 16 games long.

*That the team finds a hulkish fullback that doesn't smash himself in the face so hard that he forgets what he's supposed to do on the field.

*And finally, that there's a season to watch.