Many of you were here last year; many of you remember how dark those days could get. The Seahawks nuked their own planet, and we were left sitting around barrels, burning Pat Kerney jerseys, and waiting for the New California Republic to come and kill us for our Caps.
As the weeks progressed, and food ran out, we became desperate for hope: for a source of kindling to foster a flame in our collective hearts.
With this in mind, our Verbomancers decided to create The Hawku.
The Hawku was designed to promote fanhood on the darkest of days. Did the Giants from Big Apple just crush us in our own fortress? Yes, but Jeremy Shockey sucks. Did shit just go Cormac McCarthy on us? Did we venture out onto The Road again, and become fodder for cannibals from the Eastern Commonwealth tribes? Sure, but none of our players molest children*.
The Hawku Post is a place for our clan to come together, to leave behind our differences, and bash our enemies using the most Metal of all forms of poetry:
Usually I supply a write-up of why we are clearly superior to this week's opponent, but because it's the preseason, I feel that would be a tad redundant. Instead I'll use this week to acclimate us to the Hawku, for it is a dangerous weapon.
Here is the implementation process: 1. Write the title of your Hawku in the Subject Line. 2. Using the syllabic pattern "5-7-5", write down something snarky/clever/evil/spectacular/profound. 3. Read through what every other person writes, and Rec to Green any that make you chuckle in the slightest. I'll throw out some examples...
Purple No Longer
The Longboats are here
But Prince is very saddened
The rain becomes red.
Bad Bones is Licking His Fangs
Ponder wipes a tear
Something wicked this way comes
Earl enters the field.
*I cannot vouch for Jeff Reed