Sorry LL Cool J, but I have absolutely no choice but to call it a comeback.
(It's at this time that I want you to think of me not as a writer that you are reading, but as a narrator that you are listening to as you imagine in your mind's eye, what it was like to grow up and experience that which I experienced. If you can...)
See, I was born in 1982. It's not an era that really sticks out as "nostalgic" yet, not to our generation, but one day they'll picture it no different than how you would picture the 1960s as if you were watching The Sandlot. My mother and father got divorced in 1985 and I would spend the rest of childhood with my moms, and my pops was living halfway 'round the world.
I don't know how that would have, as they say, "affected" me, but I guess you could say that I grew up on the streets of the ghetto of Bellevue, Washington. I was no privileged kid living on the north side of the Eastside. No, I had to scrape and survive... in the middle class of Robinswood.
I wasn't given a new Acura on my 16th birthday like the other kids at school. Nah, I had to wait till I was 17, then buy a used '93 Civic and get a job and make payments.
My mom didn't take me to Nordstrom the weekend before the first day of school. We had to go to JCPenney or even worse, I had to Dress for Less.
And food? Well, actually, I had plenty of that. But sometimes we had to buy the generic Hot Pockets.
So I guess you could say that when I was a tween, I had to seek out music that I could relate to as I listened to it. Having already heard the story of my rough upbringing on the streets, I'm sure you have already guessed that I could only really relate to rap music by artists that had also been through a rough childhood. I'm just a kid comin' straight outta Bellevue.
I can remember going to my friend's house and listening to the Doggystyle album for the first time, flipping through the CD book and seeing explicit cartoon drawings of dogs and thinking "This is taboo."
"This is fun."
Snoop Dogg to Eminem to Jay-Z and Ludacris. This is isn't fad, it's a way of life. This is how we represent growing up on the wrong side of town. Bellevuetown.
It's a rap-themed Advanced Stats post, muthaf***ka.
Seahawks vs Buccaneers Win Probability Chart
The Seahawks came into this game as massive favorites, and then by the middle of the second quarter, were massive underdogs. So they managed to be both an incredible disappointment and mount an incredible comeback, all in the same game!
It's sort of like not being a player but then also crushing a lot.
The Bucs were ready to nuck when Russell Wilson was intercepted in the Tampa end zone, ending that drive and giving the Buccaneers 86% odds to pull it off the cross-country upset. A real East Coast-West Coast beef. But then Seattle got the ball back, tied the game, and when Bruce Irvin sacked Mike Glennon to force overtime, it was time to start big pimpin' and then soon, spendin' cheese.
You won't see many 49% swings in many games, but when "Kool Keith" Tandy intercepted Russell Simmons Wilson, that's exactly what happened. Luckily, there was enough time to start rebuilding the comeback.
"Cool" and "Fool" of the Week
I'm pretty sure everyone forgot about this Jermaine, but our own got lost in the shuffle too. Jermaine Kearse had his best game since Week 1, catching two passes for 43 yards and a touchdown in the absence of Sidney Got Rice?
Irvin led the team in Successful Plays in Week 8 with seven, but Bobby Swagner led the team this week with nine. In the face of criticism, Swag had 11 tackles and 1.5 sacks. Speaking of which, it's all about the Bennettman's Baby; Michael Bennett continues to lead the team with 5.5 sacks.
Clifton "Santiago" Avril had 4 tackles and a half-sack. I hate to think about what the Seahawks are going to have to do after the season because I don't want to lose Avril or Bennett, but those are simply Tha Crossroads we must face sometimes.
"Cool" of the Week - Marshawn Lynch
A week after being listed as a "fool," Brotha Lynch Hung around (as I SAID he would) and told everyone else to Rest in Piss during overtime. Lynch's game is known around the world, so it's not like he's underground, but the Beast is far too horrorcore to be associated with anything like Marshawn "Diddy" Combs.
Lynch ran it 21 times for 125 yards, his highest total of the season, and his highest regular season total since Week 13 last year against Arizona, but really turned it on with 44 yards in overtime.
I've already noted that on this team Lynch is one of the Four Horseman of the Hawkpocalypse, so no need to worry too much if I call him foolio one week and Coolio the next. Either way, we're all living in a gangster's paradise.
"Fools" of the Week - Brandon Mebane, Red Bryant
Is ya man on the flo? If he ain't, let me know. Because the Bucs can run it run it, yes the Bucs can run it run it.
And apparently so can everyone else. Get ya man off the flo, if that is the case.
A lot of blame to go around for the worst run defense we've seen in Seattle over a two-week period in a decade, but the finger gun pointing needs to start up front. Redman Bryant is there on the end of the defensive line for the purpose of stopping the run. Me-ay-bay-bayne doesn't get off da hook either.
Not only that, but at 28 and 29 on one of the youngest teams in the NFL, these two are supposed to be the Real OG's that guide the young boys through the jungle. But it wasn't that long ago that we've seen something like this.
Last season, between the 49ers game in Week 7 and the Dolphins in Week 12, the Seahawks allowed an average of 155 yards per game on the ground. In their other 11 games outside of that stretch, they allowed an average of 79.45 yards per game. What's the difference? Maybe nothing to worry about as far as stopping the run game.
The more important aspect of defense is pressuring the quarterback into making mistakes and that's something that we should see on a more consistent basis, now that everyone who has that job is healthy and active. It will be interesting to see if Greg Scruggs Mansion will be activated off of the PUP.
He was very effective in a limited role last season.
All Eyez On Us: Outlaw-Immortalz DVOA Update
The Seahawks remain at number 2Pac in DVOA-in-the-A-in-the-A-in-the-A... but also fell to 2Pac in Kool Moe Defense in the Wild Wild West a week after being Public Enemy Number One-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1, Public Enemy Number One. That now belongs to the Cards out here for a pimp.
Hold up though because as you can see in pushin' rhymes like Weighted DVOA, Carolina is starting to come on and raise up, takin' their shirts off, wrappin' 'em around their hands, and proceeding to spin it like a helicopter. What the game is Weighted DVOA not taking into account as strongly as the rest?
The Panthers Week 1 loss to the Hawks.
I see that all your value is tied to just one guy, and I'm like F*ck Youuuuu
KC-Ro actually now has the best odds to make the playoffs with a TechN99.7% chance to at least get a Wild Card berth. Even Ei-ei-ei-ei-ei-einstein would be impressed with that! If you consider that a 9-7 record is probably good enough to get the second Wild Card and that a 10-6 record would almost certainly do it, the Chiefs would need to lose all of the rest of their games to have any chance of blowing it.
Meanwhile, guess what, the champ is here and you can Jadakiss our butts. The Seahawks take back the best odds to win the Super Bowl, and there was no Deja Vu after conceding the top spot to the Bronx (Broncs) for One Week and now they're just a bunch of barenaked ladies oops wrong genre.
Would the Real Stat of the Week Please Stand Up!
The Seahawks found themselves down 21 points, but they were not afraid. Even though Greg Schiano was like "Please lose, Pete!", Carroll simply responded with, "Lose yourself." The Bucs got no love as Seattle mounted their largest comeback in team history. However, the Seahawks weren't the only team to comeback from a large deficit. The Colts came back from down 18 to knock down the Texans' toy soldiers.
Just the fifth time since 2000 that two teams have come back from an 18-point deficit in the same week. That's as good as an SNL Promo Featuring Eminem and Kerry Washington.
Seattle also moves to 8-1 for the first time in franchise history but the real role model here is Russell Wilson. He can become the first player in NFL history to go 16-0 at home in his first two seasons. That's just the way he is. Pete, just let it run.
So what's the stat of the week?!
The Seahawks have scored 134 points in the second half of games this year, the most ever through nine games in franchise history. However, their first half is so poor (92 pts, only +4 this season in point differential at halftime) that most games are still up for grabs by the fourth quarter. I'm sure they have a guilty conscience about that.
Eminem is a rapper.
Week 10 Opponent
Callin' all ATLiens!
Atlanta has become a rich hotbed for raptivity, so I better not screw this up!
The Dirty Birds are lookin' super dirty this season, and not in a good way. The Falcons are trying anything they can to wrangle in their season, but one chain won't be good enough, they'll need 2 Chainz, if not three or four. At 2-6, Atlanta might seem vulnerable, but don't be fooled about how quickly they can turn on their swag.
The Falcons are still 18th in DVO-in-the-A and 11th on offense. However, Matt Ryan is seeing true deliverance without star Julio Jones, throwing seven interceptions in his last two games. And a 29th-ranked defense by 'A? I don't know about that, I don't know about that, I don't know about that, I know none about that.
Russell Wilson Stats Update
In Week 9 - 19 of 26, 217 yards, 2 touchdowns, 2 interceptions, 8.3 Y/A, 91.3 passer rating, six carries for 36 yards and one touchdown
Watch out when Dangeruss gets his fork. He likes to eat on Sundays. And Thursdays. And Mondays.
Wilson continues to be Outta Control when he lobbs deep, completing 4-of-4 targets beyond 15 yards. He completed two of those targets to Zach "Mac Miller" on the right side of the field for 39 yards. Zachlemore was too expensive to find at a thrift shop, and he's clearly one of the most important players on this offense. I used to think that Miller would be a cap casualty of war next season, but I can't see that happening.
In the mystikal pantheon of Danger -
He has three straight games with multiple touchdown passes, 7(L & Esoteric) overall, but it's not The Most (<--- Great Song) straight games he's had like that. Wilson had a stretch of five games with multiple touchdowns in 2012.
How does Wilson stacks on stacks against other QBs in history through 25 games?
- Wilson has 13 games with 2+ touchdown passes. That is tied for sixth all time with Andy Dalton, Matt Ryan and Andrew Luck. All four are 10-3 in those games. For Luck and Wilson, they have the rest of this season to move up that list, though they won't catch the 22 of Dan "Bien Venido a Marino." Kurt Warner had 20, Carson Palmer is third with 17.
- Wilson also has 13 games with 200+ yards. It'll be tougher for him to make a dent on that list, he's tied for 25th all-time, but it wouldn't be three loco to think he winds up top 15 with seven games left. That would be neato.
- Is Wilson the greatest of all-time in something? Yep! Wilson has nine career games of 70% completions or better, tied for the most ever such games through two seasons with Palmer. (I'm a little concerned about the accuracy of that statement due to the fact that there could be games with only one or two pass attempts counted for some quarterbacks, so if you have a dispute, hit me on my pager. Ring my telephone.)
Wilson at home in his career:
12-0, 2,322 yards, 24 TD, 6 INT, 114.5 passer rating, 8.9 Y/A, 367 rushing yards, two touchdowns
Wilson overall in his career:
19-6, 4,963 yards, 41 TD, 16 INT, 99.3 pass rating, 8.0 Y/A, 864 rushing yards, five touchdowns
Against the best:
Fourth-most passing touchdowns through first two seasons behind Marino, Warner, Palmer. Warner had bounced around for a few years, Palmer sat as a rookie, so second-most passing touchdowns through first two true seasons behind Marino.
I'm on that pursuit of happyness and I know, everything that shines is Russell Wilson and gold.
Around the League
- Not a single running back is averaging 90+ rushing yards per game, something that hasn't happened over a full season since 1990. It's a new NFL and that might be something that parents just don't understand.
- And then there were three. With the injury to Aaron Rodgers, only Peyton Manning, Drew "Lil Weezy" Breesy, and Ryan are on pace for 5,000-yard seasons.
- The Dolphins beat the Bengals on an overtime safety, the third team to ever do that. The first to do that was Vikings linebacker Mike Merriweather on a blocked punt against the St. Lunatics in 1989, and the other was Bears defensive end Oochie-walley-walley, Oochie-bang-bang, Oochie-walley-walley, Oochie-bang-bang Ogunleye sacking Titans quarterback Billy Volek in 2004.
- The Seahawks-Bucs game is one of 30 games already this season in which the winning points were scored in the final two minutes of regulation or overtime. With 69.2% of final scores being within seven points of each other, the 92 such games is the most ever through nine seasons. The Bucs tried to stop Seattle from getting within 21 points, let alone seven, but that's not going to happen. Not on my block.
This is Kennethdrick Lamarthur. Signing out.