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The StatHawk: Jon Ryan Superstar and the Seahawks' unexpected AFC doppelganger

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Chances are you'll get a bigger kick out of the first part; you can always punt the second act.

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Brad Mills-USA TODAY Sports

Since the 2014 season is now lost, the postseason reduced to a pipe dream's pipe dream, and our collective attention has turned to playing spoiler for the playoff-bound Niners and Cardinals, it's a good time to look at the true shining light of the Seattle Seahawks, punter extraordinaire Jeff Feagles Jon Ryan.

Jon Ryan Superstar

He's one of the coolest Cats out there.

Who likes to party in Technicolor

Somehow, he wasn't always ours, which is hard to believe.

At least they got his credentials right.

Anyway, he's a hoot on Twitter, mocking airline food service and getting grief in return.

Or taking shots at things that deserve shots:

He can take it and he can dish it out. Don't cry for him, our Jon teases.

And look, he's a veritable beast on Phantom punts.

(We're done now with the Andrew Lloyd Webber portion of the post, it's safe to read again.)

Jon Ryan 2013 was a pretty badass performer in some areas: second fewest return yards allowed, sixth in max hang time, seventh in punts inside the 20. League average in a lot of categories.

Jon Ryan 2014, though, has evolved; his performance in battle is legendary.

Category Result NFL Rank Commentary
Punts inside the 20 16 1 Out of 22 total punts
% of punts inside the 20 72.7 1 Only one other punter exceeds 60
Fair catches 11 4 Again, just 22 punts to work with
Fair catch % 50.0 2 Falcon Matt Bosher is a selfish jerk
Return yardage 31 4 The three ahead of him have all punted fewer times
% of punts returned 22.7 1 Eleven other punters have allowed 50+ percent
PFF rating 13.9 1 I know, PFF, I know, I know
Maximum hang time 5.43 6 Just .05 out of second place
Net average 41.6 7 You try punting from midfield half the time

The impressive table above doesn't even include Ryan's 79.99-yard free kick he launched after the Broncos had the temerity to register a safety at the CLink in week 3. And he's only produced three touchbacks so far. Everything's coming up epic. If you were a little bit trashy, you'd say he's Canada Dry-humping the rest of the league.

Um. So. Hawks fans should also be made aware, or reminded, that Ryan holds the following franchise records:

  • Career average, 44.8
  • Highest single-season average, 46.4 (2011)
  • Highest single-season net average, 40.8 (2012)
  • Most career punts placed inside the 20 (169)
  • Longest punt, 77 yards (2011)

One final stat, from the Unofficial Department: Ryan leads the league, again, in jerseys sold, punter category. (You know he does, though.)

Credit where credit is due: This is where the numbers are coming from for the first table. And they're from here for the second.

Stat Two: Meet The New Browns, Same As The Who Now?

If I'd told you before the season that Cleveland and Seattle would share significant similarities through five games, you would've chuckled condescendingly. Or cried a little. That's quite all right. I would've done the same. But, wiping the tears away, here we are, five games in, looking a lot like our brothers by the other lake.

Because charts are what I do:

Category Seattle Seahawks Cleveland Whatevers Commentary
W-L Record 3-2 3-2 Wins, schmins
Place in division Third Third No comment
Points for & against 133-113 134-115 !!!
OffEPA minus DefEPA 7.3 10.9 That's considered close. NFL range is 55.6 (Chargers) down to -90.1 (Jaguars)
QB TD / INT 8 / 2 7 / 1 Brian Hoyer doing his best '13 Nick Foles impersonation
QB rating 99.7 99.5 Somewhat above average
QB success rate 46.6 46.6 Somewhat below average
Y/A, AY/A, Y/C 8.2, 8.5, 13.1* 8.2, 8.9, 13.6 Practically twinsies here too

*Yep, I cheated in the last row. Those are Wilson's numbers... from 2013, alongside those for Hoyer from this year. RW hasn't really begun to approach his output from last year. Yet? Let's go with yet.

One you shove deception aside, a couple more similarities between the squads surface. They each play in a tough defensive-minded division. They've each had some receiver issues this season -- the Hawks are trying out a new drop-all-the-contested-deep-balls offense, and the Browns are proceeding without All-Milky-Way wideout Josh Gordon.

Plus, each team has hit speed bumps along the offensive line. Both centers are hurt, which has resulted in some scrub named "Paul McQuistan" seeing time for the Browns at guard, while the Hawks gave something called "Stephen Schilling" his first start at center this past Sunday.

The success rate stats and EPA numbers are courtesy of here and here.

The only logical conclusion is that both teams are on a collision course for February. Right?