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Greedy Russell Wilson wants to be paid like a top-40 quarterback

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Wow. The nerve of this guy.

"Move aside, Wilson. The moola is mine."
"Move aside, Wilson. The moola is mine."
Brian Bahr/Getty Images

Apparently Russell Wilson thinks he is one of the top 40 quarterbacks in the NFL. At least, he expects to be paid like one.

Wilson, who is currently on a deal that pays him $1.696 million in 2015 (44th overall among quarterbacks) and has an average annual value of $749,000 (68th overall) thinks he should actually be paid more than a guy like Aaron Rodgers? Why? Because you've been to more Super Bowls than him?

Sorry, but football is a team sport and it doesn't work like that. Not today, buddy.

Do you think that Russell Wilson should actually be paid more than Jay Cutler ($16.5 million in 2015, $18.1 APY), when Cutler has 121 careers starts under his belt including TWO playoff games? I think Al Borland might chime in to say, "I don't think so, Tim."

On what planet should Wilson be paid more than Andy Dalton ($9.6 million in 2015, $16 APY) when Dalton's the one that's been to the playoffs every year since 2011. Where was Wilson in 2011? Not in the NFL playoffs, there's where not!

Okay, so you're actually telling me Wilson should be paid more than Brian Hoyer ($5.2 million in 2015, $5.25 APY) after Hoyer leading the BROWNS to 10 wins over his 16 starts in his two seasons there? The BROWNS!

Wow, I bet you think he should be paid more than Chase Daniel. More than Chase Daniel ($4.8 million in 2015, $3.33 APY)?!?!?! ARE YOU INSANE? If it was up to me I'd change his name to Chase Daniel$ because he has been so money during his two career starts.

I am going to flip my lid if you tell me he should be paid more than Josh McCown ($3.9 million in 2015) Mark Sanchez ($3.75 million), Chad Henne ($3.5 million), Ryan Fitzpatrick ($3.25 million) or Shaun Hill ($3.25 million). I'll lose it. Those guys have VETERAN GRIT. Call me when Russell Wilson has VETERAN GRIT.

I know we joke around a lot, but I won't be joking when I burn this place to the fucking ground at the first suggestion that Russell "McGreedy" Wilson should be paid more than Ryan Mallett ($3.1 million). Last I checked, Mallett was a five-star recruit coming out of high school and Wilson could barely scrounge together two offers. Is the last time I checked in 2007? Maybe.

I get that a lot of you are Seahawks fans, I totally get that, like ... I get it. And that's why I'm sure there will be NO OBJECTION that Wilson shouldn't be paid more than or equal to Matt Hasselbeck ($3 million) or Charlie Whitehurst ($2.5 million). If I'm in a room with Wilson, Hasselbeck, and Whitehurst and I have a gun with only two bullets, I shoot myself twice. Because all three of those guys should live forever but Wilson has the least value of all, clearly.

Will the real fake-ass haters of Christian Ponder ($2.25 million) please stand up. Please stand up. Please stand up. Not even Wilson can deny this; the guy's name literally means "To think about being a Christian."

Two-time Pro Bowl QB Matt Schaub ($2 million) is so obviously more valuable to the Ravens than Wilson is to the Seahawks ... moving on.

Bruce Gradkowski ($1.83 million) is so good that he doesn't even need to attempt a pass in either of the last two seasons in order to prove he's more valuable than Wilson.

I would sooner rather retire from writing than see 49ers QB Blaine Gabbert ($1.75 million) make less than Wilson. Gabbert threw a touchdown on 14.3% of his pass attempts last season! And frankly, it makes me sick to know that Tarvaris Jackson ($1.5 million) is being paid less than Wilson, even if it's only about $200,000 less.

I can only take solace in the fact that Wilson's APY is less than Matt Cassel, Austin Davis, Jason Campbell, TJ Yates, Kellen Clemens, Colt McCoy, Derek Anderson, Scott Tolzien, Jimmy Clausen, Tyrod Taylor, Luke McCown, Dan Orlovsky, Matt Flynn, Kellen Moore, Brock Osweiler, Jimmy Garoppolo, Garrett Grayson, Josh Johnson, Joe Webb, Sean Mannion, Mike Glennon, and Josh Freeman.

The Geico Gecko once said that "Greed is good." He clearly wasn't talking about Russell Wilson.