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Russell Wilson contract: "Wilson" literally means "Son of desire for protection"

It's been right in front of our eyes all along.

Frederick M. Brown/Getty Images

According to Wikipedia, the surname Wilson derives from being "the son of Will" (no surprises there) and "William" is derived from being Will (desire) and Helm (as in helmet, or protection).

Is it any wonder now why Wilson would want a new contract? To protect his future. Or why he would take out an insurance policy for this season in case of a career-ending injury? The facts in the case are clear, your honor:

Russell WILL-SON, clearly wants a contract that will pay him more money and secure his future with Ciara. I rest my case.

Objection, your honor! "Ciara" means "dark-haired" in Irish Gaelic and "Russell" may refer to "red-haired" in Old French. Wilson clearly wants the money so that he can buy more hair products in some sort of twisted, two-hair-colored, Dennis Rodmanesque Ponzi scheme!


Your honor--


This has been day nine of the Russell Wilson vow. God help us all.