You tried your hand at our annual prediction contest last September. You wanted to be just like 2015 winner Drunk Viking and 2016 champ Blake Whitney.
One of you will be. The next Hawkstradamus. Although the prize consists of pride and all the Gullbux you can eat. Still a nice honor. So nice you’d want to win it twice. If you forgot to learn how to share back in kindergarten.
Results follow. First place in any category earns you five points, second place three points, third place one point. Honorable mention just means... you got mentioned. Like having your name in the local paper that one time when you made an interception for your high school team.
A) Russell Wilson’s passer rating (tie-breaker: total yards)
First: Drunk Viking, 91.4
Second: dcporter, 100.1
Third: mrwalterisgod, 100.4
Commentary: Few guessed RW would repeat his league-leading 110.1 from 2015. But even fewer guessed he’d fall below 100. Except Drunky. That bastard.
B) Total carries and yards for Thomas Rawls (tie-breaker: rushing TD)
First: War Elk, 139 off, with 87-298-3
Second: Phanto82, 165 off, with 89-434-3
Third: Game 0f Drones, 716 off, with 146-987-6
Commentary: This one was judged on how close contestants were in both carries and yards. Being off by one carry cost you four points; being off by one yard cost you one point. Same kind of formula for the next question.
C) Total receptions and yards for Jimmy Graham (tie-breaker: TD catches)
First: Largentium, 15 off, with 64-928-8
Second: Philbo_Baggins, 45 off, with 67-948-9
Third: Superb Owl, 73 off, with 70-900-8
Commentary: So, minus 10 for every reception, minus 1 for every yard off the mark. Honorable mention goes to CreativeUsername, who tied with Superb Owl for third... but guessed nine TD to Owl’s eight. Oops. Nopointsforyou. (FYI: Graham’s reception and yardage numbers are all-time franchise records.)
D) Jon Ryan’s punting average (tie-breaker: number inside 20)
Actual: 44.0 (26)
First: dcporter, 44.0 (25) DING DING DING
Second: Superb Owl, 44.0 (30) ONE DING MAYBE
Third: Wilder., 43.8
Commentary: Wow nicely done. Our next honorable mention goes to Quaternion, who submitted 43.79, in a curious case of overzealous digitry. Rounding is your friend.
E) Tyler Lockett’s all-purpose yards (tie-breaker: total TD)
Actual: 1560 (597 rec, 114 rush, 849 ret) and 2 TD
First: Casey Castle, 1570
Second: Anita_Cocktail, 1635
Third: LadyHawkFan, 1432
Commentary: Apparently it pays to predict down years on offense, caused by injury. But what fun is that? Most people went above 2000, which is where I’d expect to find Lockett next season.
F) Frank Clark’s total sacks + tackles for loss + forced fumbles + picks, expressed as one total number (tie-breaker: accepted offsides for Michael Bennett)
Actual: 23 (2) with 10 SK, 11 TFL, 2 FF, 0 INT
First: Superb Owl 22 (4)
Second (tie): War Elk 22 (6) and 99-percent-sure, 24 (6)
Commentary: Ten sacks. Sacksy. Also, seven people guessed 22 or 24 whie nobody opted for 23. Weird. Important: Clark’s 11 tackles for loss were tied for 27th in the league. That doesn’t sound so impressive -- until you remember he’s not a starter.
G) Amount of defensive players named to Pro Bowl (tie-breaker: amount of offensive players honored)
Actual: 5 (2)
First: Paratroopa 5 (2) DING DING DING
Second (13-way-tie): all going with 5 (3) were 99-percent-sure, Bazzered, demingas, DukeAndDuke, grannypanties, Ilwacojoe, irishpride, logos, pqlqi, slarson, Quaternion, Wade8813, westfried.
Third: skipped like your sister in Uno
Commentary: ‘Twas Avril, Bennett, Sherman, Wagner, Wright. Throw in Baldwin and Graham on offense for the 5 (2) answer. The question asks for players “named.” Avril, Bennett, Sherman and Wagner were all voted; the other three were added. That’s how I got to the final answer. (Sorry logos, it won’t let me add asterisks before and after your username without bolding it.)
H) Longest non-ST play from scrimmage, by whom, which week
Actual: Tyler Lockett, 75 yards, Week 13
First (3-way tie): with two components right apiece, Big_Daddy_Love (Lockett-75-8), JrBlack (Lockett 86-13) and Philbo_Baggins (Lockett-94-13)
Third: null and void again
Commentary: A weird one to judge because I didn’t ask for specific yardage on the play, but everyone submitted it. So I used it as criteria. Especially because the result didn’t affect our final score. Lockett and Richardson were cited the most, by the way.
I) Most points scored in a single game by the Seahawks, in which week
Actual: 40 in Week 13
First: Wilder., with 40 in Week 9
Second (tie): baltergeist, Paratroopa, The Big Buddha, all with 41 in Week 11.
Third: [this space intentionally left blank]
Commentary: Guys you know what happens when you copy off someone? You win. Category K below proves that point even more emphatically.
J) Total team point differential (tie-breaker: provide points scored and allowed)
Actual: +62 (354-292)
First: Drunk Viking, with 45
Second (tie): Anita_Cocktail, with 87
Third: Ilwacojoe, with 98 (376)
Commentary: Honorable mention definitely goes to Phanto_82 and his 98 but with 424 points scored. Tie-breakers, man.
K) Team leader in total tackles, solo plus assists, with amount (tie-breaker: who finishes in second place, with amount)
Actual: Bobby Wagner, 168 (K.J. Wright, 124)
First (tie): Largentium with Wagner 167-Wright 119 and Payton’s Rules with 167-119 also
Second: nope because of the plagiarism
Third: Steven_D with Wagner 160
Commentary: Many people mentioned Wagner, then Wright. Many people saw right through the question!
L) Win totals for top 8 AFC teams
Actual: NE 14, KC 12, OAK 12, PIT 11, MIA 10, HOU 9, TEN 9, DEN 9
First: PouxBear with 7 correct teams
Second: mrwalterisgod with 6 correct teams, 3 in exact position
Third: baltergeist with 6 correct teams, 2 in exact position
Commentary: Cincinnati and Indianapolis were the teams most often mispredicted. At least they didn’t make the playoffs.
M) Win totals for bottom 8 NFC teams
Actual: SF 2, CHI 3, LA 4, CAR 6, NO 7, PHI 7, ARI 7, MIN 8
First: Drunk Viking (again?) with 6 correct teams, 2 in exact position
Second (tie): Blake Whitney, Kingdomer, Philbo_Baggins and Quaternion all with 6 correct teams, 1 in exact position
Third: y u no thurd
Commentary: Dallas and New York were the teams most often mispredicted here. At least they made the playoffs!
N) Final NFC West standings, with W-L records
First (tie): Drunk Viking (shut up) and DukeAndDuke, all four teams correct, off by a total of six wins
Second: is first loser
Third (3-way tie): PouxBear, Superb Owl and westfried, all four teams correct, off by a total of seven wins.
Commentary: If you guessed the Cardinals would take the division again, maybe you were thinking of the wrong year.
O) Name the NFL leaders in sacks (how many?) and in rushing yards (how many?)
Actual: Vic Beasley (15.5) and Ezekiel Elliott (1631)
First: Largentium, with Elliott at 1625 yards
Second: Wilder., with Elliott at 1620 yards
Third: slarson, with Elliott at 1616 yards
Commentary: Elliott was a popular choice, along with Todd Gurley and Adrian Peterson. J.J. Watt graced many ballots in the sack department, but nobody guessed Beasley. So the tie-breaker breaks the tie!
P) First 4 teams in the 2017 draft order (tie-breaker: which four teams will appear in the conference title games)
Actual: CLE, SF, CHI, JAX
First: Anita_Cocktail, with 3 teams correct and 3 in exact order
Second (tie): Big_Daddy_Love and LadyHawkFan, with 3 teams correct and 2 in exact order.
Third: appropriately no third on the final category.
Commentary: nobody got all four teams in any permutation. You all thought too highly of future Seahawks defensive coordinator Gus Bradley, I guess.
Champion: It’s Drunk Viking again. He won four categories and scored 20 points. Yeah, the same guy who won for his 2014 predictions. We are impressed and suspicious.
First runner-up: Largentium came away with 15 points after winning three categories. Congratulations!
Second runner-up: Appropriately enough, a tie between two users. Next year’s administrator had better set up more efficient tie-breaking procedures. Give it up for Anita_Cocktail and Philbo_Baggins.
Others of note: Superb Owl 10; Wilder. 9; Big_Daddy_Love, dcporter, Paratroopa and War Elk all with 8.
Man, this thing was probably rigged. Better luck beating the system next year.