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“Prediction is very difficult, especially if it’s about the future”
-Niels Bohr
Don’t come at me with how that’s a Yogi quote. Berra ripped Bohr off.
Seamless transition: now you can rip off past Hawkstradamus winners such as Blake Whitney (2015) and Drunk Viking (2014 and 2016*). All you have to do is ace two dozen questions about the Seahawks and the NFL. Nothing could be easier.
*them 2016 results are weirdly suspicious, who even wins this thing twice?
A wrinkle appears in this, the fourth annual Hawkstradamus competition (grand prize: bragging rights, plus 500 Gullbux). Each question with a numerical answer can gain you points, even if you’re not the top guesser/predictor/dart thrower. If you get the answer exactly right, you win 5 points. Within 5 percent and you get 3 points; within 10 percent is worth 2 points; and any guess within 20 percent is worth a single point. More than 20 percent off in a single category? Out of luck, Chuck.
The predictions are for regular season only, unless otherwise noted. We don’t even know if the Seahawks are going to make the playo — sentence cannot completed as dialed.
It’s a change-up from previous years. Should cut down on the need for tie-breakers, and reward overall performance rather than two or three lucky guesses. Not that we’re accusing any one Scandinavian user of getting lucky. Twice.
Preambles are as overrated as Andrew Luck. Onward and sideward!
INDIVIDUAL CATEGORY
1. Russell Wilson Yards/Attempt, with one decimal
2. Tyler Lockett games played multiplied by receptions
3. Blair Walsh field goal percentage, with one decimal
4. Jon Ryan punting average, once again with one decimal
5. Doug Baldwin receiving yards
6. Cliff Avril + Frank Clark sacks
7. Total interceptions by the LOB originals (Kam Chancellor-Earl Thomas-Richard Sherman)
8. Total defensive snaps played by Shaquill Griffin
TEAM CATEGORY
9. Total rushing touchdowns
10. Final NFL rank in red zone touchdown percentage (5 points for exact answer, 3 points for within one spot, 1 point for within two spots)
11. Total sacks allowed
12. Total point differential
13. Largest margin of victory in a division game
14. Number of snaps played by Seattle backup quarterbacks, combined
15. Place these players in order of rushing yards, from most to least (3 points for 5/5, 1 point for 3/5, no points for worse): Chris Carson, Eddie Lacy, C.J. Prosise, Thomas Rawls, Russell Wilson
LEAGUE CATEGORY
16. Name the two teams that will face off in Super Bowl LII (3 points for 2/2, 1 point for 1/2)
17. Name the four AFC division winners (6 points for 4/4, 4 points for 3/4, 2 points for 2/4, 1 point for just 1/4)
18. Name the three NFC division winners outside of the NFC West (4 points for 3/3, 2 points for 2/3, 1 point for just 1/3)
19. Place the NFC West teams in order, with W-L record (1 point for every exactly correct piece of information)
20. NFL rushing leader (4 points)
21. NFL receiving leader (3 points)
22. NFL passer rating leader (2 points)
23. Which teams will earn the top four picks of the 2018 draft? (1 point for every correct team listed in the correct spot)
24. Write a short expository essay (200-400 words) explaining why the Seahawks will win the next Super Bowl.
Real 24. Number of rushing yards for Marshawn Lynch in 2017 (up to 5 points)
Because I’m on your team, the post includes a template you can copy and paste into your comment. Go Hawks.
TEMPLATE
1. Wilson Y/A:
2. Lockett games x rec:
3. Walsh FG%:
4. Ryan punting avg:
5. Baldwin rec. yds:
6. Avril + Clark sacks:
7. INT by Kam-Earl-Sherm:
8. Snaps for Griffin:
/ / / / / / /
9. Team rushing TD:
10. Team NFL rank in rz%:
11. Team sacks allowed:
12. Team point differential:
13. Biggest NFCW win, by points:
14. Backup QB total snaps:
15. Rank Carson, Lacy, Prosise, Rawls, Wilson by rush yds:
/ / / / / / /
16. SB LII participants:
17. Four AFC div. winners:
18. Four NFC div. winners:
19. Final NFCW standings, with W-L:
20. NFL rushing leader:
21. NFL receiving leader:
22. NFL passer rating leader:
23. Top 4 in 2018 NFL draft order:
Fake 24. Essay question
Real 24. Beast Mode rushing yards
Appendix 1: Resources
Links to help you make better guesses.
Seattle Seahawks snap counts, 2015, via Football Outsiders
Pro-football-reference Seahawks page for 2015
Good luck to everyone. Except past winners, of course.