Compilation of bad Earl Thomas trade proposals

What is the defining characteristic of “bad sports radio callers”? Well, it’s perhaps the same thing that has migrated from the phone to the internet: asinine trade proposals.

There’s one sports “opinion” that I had for a brief moment back in 2001, when I was 17, that I recall telling one of the local sports radio disc jockeys on a call-in show about. I don’t remember who the radio personality was or why I wanted to bring this up, or even why I called (I don’t recall making very many of these sports-related phone calls, though I do remember calling in and speaking to “The T-Man” twice) but the draft was coming up and the Seahawks had two picks in the first round. And I knew there was this guy coming into the league that everyone was losing their minds over: Michael Vick.

So I called in and asked, “Why don’t the Seahawks just trade up for Michael Vick?”

Now, a team did trade up for Vick, but it was the Falcons, who gave up picks 5, 67, and a 2002 2nd rounder. Seattle could have offered picks 9 and 17, but instead, took Koren Robinson and Steve Hutchinson. (The Seahawks originally were at pick 7, but moved down two spots in a trade with the 49ers, so they could have done even better than that.) Instead, Hutchinson worked out pretty good, arguably better than Vick, but that’s beside the point because the Seahawks were never trading for Vick, my question was stupid and pointless, and those are perhaps my biggest regrets from my teenage years; dumb sports opinions.

As a 35-year-old so much has changed ... now I don’t regret my dumb sports opinions, I publish them online!

And so do many other people, in the form of tweets, comments, and status updates. I figured, why not gather some and post them here for science math geography history the hell of it the yell I get fun. Especially since most of them involve Cowboys fans.

Earl Thomas to the Cowboys for David Irving (this guy says “NO”)

Understandably, Irving is a player that most fans would want to keep. The former undrafted free agent is 24 and had seven sacks in eight games last season. That gives him 11.5 sacks in his three seasons and the defensive lineman is one of the few good players in Dallas who is reasonably cheap. For now. Irving will be a free agent next year and as long as teams aren’t overly concerned about his concussion history (he missed the final four games of the season because of a head injury) or his PED violation (which caused him to be suspended for the first four games of the season) then he could become a very rich man in 2019.

Would it be smart to give up a 24-year-old defensive lineman with a recent concussion, suspension, and an upcoming massive raise even if all goes well, for a six-time Pro Bowl safety who won’t be 30 until next summer? Some would pull the trigger, yes.

Also, “a lot of people are down on Irving ....” so I think my favorite team should trade him for a future Hall of Fame safety!

Earl Thomas to the Giants for Odell Beckham, Jr.

This is going to be brought up a lot because they’re the two biggest stars on the rumored trade market. And it does make some sense in theory because unhappy superstar-for-unhappy superstar is a common context for a trade. Are there a million other variables to be considered that likely get in the way of this ever happening though?

You can’t spell “OBJECT!” without “O-B-J-E-T”

C.

Earl Thomas and a 2020 3rd to Steelers for Le’Veon Bell and Jesse James

All the Seahawks have to do to acquire a $14 million running back who wants $17 million per year and has history with injuries and suspensions is give up a 29-year-old All-Pro safety and a third round pick next year (giving them zero day two picks once again), but on the bright side they get a tight that Pittsburgh is constantly trying to replace (Vance McDonald, Ladarius Green) with someone else.

Zazoo!

Earl Thomas for Cowboys’ 2nd round pick

The Seahawks apparently want at least a first and a third for Earl (I never believe those “requested return” rumors with a shred confidence to their validity) but what if ... what if ... the Dallas Cowboys were instead willing to give up pick 50? Now we’re cooking.

Using Tyrone Crawford as bait for Earl Thomas

Why get OBJ when you can get a barely-known defensive end making $9.1 million next season and $10.1 million in 2019? This trade is stupid because the Cowboys would never ever ever try to move Tyrone Crawford and his ~$30 million salary over the next three seasons for one of the best safeties of the decade.

Earl Thomas to the Cowboys for a 1st round pick

Adding pick 19 would give Seattle back-to-back picks in round one, giving them an opportunity to move up if they really, really wanted to (doubtful), to stay where they’re at with at least one of the picks, or to move down both times and really load up on day two, day three, and 2019 picks. It makes some sense, but the Cowboys could not fit Thomas’ salary into the books without making some significant changes. Dallas is currently about $5 million under per OverTheCap, which puts them closer to $0 under even before they trade for Earl.

Earl Thomas to the Chiefs for Mitch Morse and a 2nd

Morse has played center for his entire NFL career, missed nine games in 2017, and is a free agent after next season. So yeah, I’d love to see Seattle get rid of one of their 10-best players in franchise history for him and pick 54.

Using Cole Beasley or Terrance Williams in a trade for Earl Thomas

If Seattle wants Beasley, they are “delusional”

If Doug Baldwin had a whiter, lesser clone, Beasley would be him. Beasley had 314 yards last season and he’s due $4.25 million next season, his last before being a 30-year-old free agent. The Seahawks wouldn’t trade anything for Cole Beasley — but maybe instead of not trading anything for him, they should give up their best remaining player in the secondary, if not the whole defense.

Williams had the distinction last season of getting 78 targets and turning them into zero touchdowns. He makes $4.75 million in 2018.

Earl Thomas for the Cowboys 3rd round pick

Why get a second when you can get a third?

Earl Thomas to the Steelers for Martavis Bryant and a 3rd, who says no?

if he were a free agent, Bryant would make a lot of sense because he fits a Pete Carroll-type find in many ways: tall, talented, athletic, young, and cheaper than his talent would normally command because of off-field problems. Giving up Thomas him and pick 92 though, not as alluring.

Jk, of course they should give up an elite safety for a guy who is not far removed from one season-long suspension and who knows how close he could be to the next one, plus a flier that could be the next Nick Vannett.

Earl Thomas for one of Washington’s “available” OL + a late rounder for a K

Forget about Trent Williams, Morgan Moses, or Brandon Scherff, who are Washington’s offensive linemen that they don’t want so they can get a free safety that they’d really want?

Arie Kouandjio, welcome to fish-throwing town!

This might be a bad trade for the Seahawks, up until you tell me that Seattle also gets to pick their KOTF in round seven.

Earl Thomas for two Colts 2nd rounders because “Why not?”

The Colts now old picks 36, 37, and 49, so they could use them to make a big move. They traded down from 3 to 6, maybe the reward is ammunition to finally infuse some talent back into that defense. Seattle also wants more options on day two — but I think they’d probably hold firm on 36 and 37 rather than accepting pick 49, because 36/37 is perhaps the closest thing they could get to a 1st.

You could just as easily argue that 36/37 is rarely ever going to match or equate a Hall of Fame safety in his prime, but the Seahawks really have to consider if they believe that Earl will sign up for more beyond 2018 and if they’d be willing to use the franchise tag on him if not.

Earl Thomas for two 3rd rounders from the Chiefs (not their own)

But why get two second rounders when you could get two third rounders? The most interesting thing is that Scott has apparently had a vision that Kansas City will acquire LA’s third round pick (he may mean their 2018 fourth or their 2019 second in the Marcus Peters trade) and move two picks that weren’t originally their own for Thomas.

Two third rounders (or possibly a 3rd and a 4th?) for Earl Thomas? Seems too good to be true. For the Seahawks!

Earl Thomas for Packers 2nd and 3rd round picks

“I’d love to see my team give up very little to acquire an elite player that I love.”

Yeah, for sure.

Earl Thomas for two Dolphins 2nd rounders + a player

A future second round pick is closer to a current third round pick, I feel like, because it’s in the future and you also don’t know where in the round it will be or if the NFL/world will still exist in a year. I also wonder if the player the Seahawks getting back is DeVante Parker or Brock Osweiler. (You know this guy thinks it’s Brock Osweiler. And me too .... in my dreams!)

Earl Thomas for Texans’ 3rd in 2018, 2nd in 2019, and a “position player”

My favorite thing about football is position players.

Earl Thomas to Texans for two “future 2nd’s and a 4th”

Why give up things now (when you’ll want them the most) as opposed to things in the future (when you won’t care until many months from now) to get something great? I agree, IJoedirt!

Earl Thomas for Cowboys 3rd and Cole Beasley? “that’s enuff”

Earl Thomas for pick 50

Fuck a pick 19 or a pick 36/37, Seattle would never let go of the opportunity to get pick 50. It’s just so ... round. I mean, if the Seahawks could get pick 100 for Earl Thomas, that would be ideal, but 50 is clearly in second place.

Now, onto some realness: