About a year ago, I simulated 12 games (using the Whatifsports engine) between the 1992 Seattle Seahawks and the 2002 Tampa Bay Buccaneers, which pitted arguably the worst passing offense in NFL history against possibly the best pass defense. The ‘92 Seahawks were outscored 284-59, but pulled out a miraculous 10-3 win in game #8 to avoid getting swept.
Well I’m back at it again this year, only it’s Seahawks vs. Seahawks action. The 1992 Seahawks are still here, but their opponents are the 2013 Seahawks, which is effectively “worst Seahawks team ever” vs. “best Seahawks team ever.” Unlike the 2002 Buccaneers, the 2013 Seahawks were far more balanced and as a result they’re a better overall team, finishing 7th in offensive DVOA (compared to a mediocre 20th for Tampa Bay), and 5th in Special Teams DVOA to Tampa Bay’s 9th.
Just like last year, I’m splitting starting quarterback duties between Kelly Stouffer and Stan Gelbaugh. However, I am expanding the simulation to 16 games, and including Dan McGuire, so it’ll be 7 starts for Stouffer (games 1-7), 8 for Gelbaugh (games 8-12), and 1 for McGuire (game 16), just like real life in ‘92. To make things a little fairer for such a monstrous underdog, every game is simulated at the Kingdome... as if the travel makes a difference. For even more help, Tarvaris Jackson starts over Russell Wilson in every fourth game.
As awful as the ‘92 team proved to be, the late Cortez Kennedy won Defensive Player of the Year, and the entire defensive unit ranked 3rd in both pass and run DVOA. We know that even though they won the Super Bowl, the ‘13 Seahawks also nearly lost at home to an awful Tampa Bay Buccaneers side, so an upset could be in the cards! Let’s find out...
Game 1: ‘13 Seahawks def. ‘92 Seahawks 9-0
Darrell Bevell apparently established the hell out of the run in this game, but neither the pass nor the run game was working very well. The ‘92 Seahawks defense kept the ‘13 team out of the end zone, while Chris Warren gashed the ‘13 defense with 114 yards on the ground on just 18 carries. In the 4th quarter, the ‘92 Seahawks drove into field goal range, only for John Kasay to miss from 42 yards. Desperate to get on the scoreboard in the closing minutes, Kelly Stouffer drove his side to the 5-yard line, but Michael Bennett sacked him on 4th down to preserve the shutout. Bennett finished the day with two sacks.
Game 2: ‘13 Seahawks def. ‘92 Seahawks 24-0
Another shutout. John Kasay had a nightmare performance, missing all three field goal attempts, including a 30-yard chip shot that went wide right on the game’s opening drive. Marshawn Lynch had 85 yards rushing and 38 receiving, making him the top performer.
Game 3: ‘13 Seahawks def. ‘92 Seahawks 25-13
At last, the 1992 Seahawks get some points! Don’t let the rushing attempts completely fool you for the 2013 Seahawks, as Wilson was credited with 6 scrambles and 3 kneel-downs. The ‘92 team could’ve pulled off the upset had Kelly Stouffer not been so poor, throwing a trio of interceptions to just 7 completions to his own receivers. He was also sacked in the end zone by Cliff Avril for a safety.
After Chris Warren broke free for a 53-yard score to trim the deficit to 15-13, Russell Wilson and company were forced to punt again, giving Stouffer the chance to be the hero. Instead, Brandon Browner recorded his second interception, and the Seahawks put the game to bed with a 41-yard drive, capped off by Beast Mode.
Game 4 (Jackson starts): ‘13 Seahawks def. ‘92 Seahawks 26-3
Not very competitive even with the backup in the game. Jermaine Kearse had 3 catches for 93 yards, while the ‘13 Seahawks defense held the ‘92 Seahawks offense to just 142 yards of total offense.
Game 5: ‘13 Seahawks def. ‘92 Seahawks 27-2
Marshawn Lynch (21 rushes for 53 yards, 1 TD) was largely held in check, but Russell Wilson threw for one touchdown and rushed for another in what was another comfortable win for the 2013 team. Kelly Stouffer (6/25 for 82 yards, 2 INTs) threw a red-zone interception to Richard Sherman late in the 1st half, but Russell Wilson was sacked by Cortez Kennedy to give the ‘92 Seahawks their only points on the afternoon. Stan Gelbaugh had a few relief snaps (presumably due to injury) and didn’t fare that much better. This simulator seems to hate John Kasay, as he missed another field goal.
Game 6: ‘13 Seahawks def. ‘92 Seahawks 64-0
Uhhhhhhh yeah. The ‘92 Seahawks’ longest play from scrimmage went 10 yards, and Stouffer’s miserable day saw him finish with -8 net yards passing. Marshawn Lynch had a hat-trick of touchdowns and 135 yards on the ground.
Game 7 (Stouffer’s last start): ‘13 Seahawks def. ‘92 Seahawks 23-10
Doug Baldwin only had two catches, but both went for touchdowns, and the champs got past the chumps in a reasonably close game. Kelly Stouffer’s final start sees him throw a touchdown for the first and only time of this simulation.
Game 8 (Gelbaugh starts, Jackson starts): ‘13 Seahawks def. ‘92 Seahawks 24-10
T-Jack was aggressive and at times reckless, throwing interceptions to Eugene Robinson and Dwayne Harper, but also hooking up with Doug Baldwin to the tune of 4 catches for 115 yards and a long touchdown in the 3rd quarter to create some separation for the heavily favored 2013 group. Gelbaugh’s first start sees him only complete 10 out of 30 passes for 115 yards, but no turnovers is the biggest positive.
Game 9: ‘13 Seahawks def. ‘92 Seahawks 16-3
Richard Sherman’s 3rd quarter interception help set up his side’s only touchdown of the day, as Russell Wilson found Doug Baldwin in the end zone from 3 yards out. The run game was thoroughly shut down, as Marshawn Lynch could only muster 28 yards on 18 carries.
Game 10: ‘13 Seahawks def. ‘92 Seahawks 25-10
Russell Wilson was fantastic, completing 76% of his passes for 245 yards and a touchdown to Marshawn Lynch, who took player of the game honors with a receiving and rushing TD, along with 107 yards on the ground. Brian Blades’ TD represented the ‘92 Seahawks largest lead of the simulation series thus far. Tony McDaniel wrapped up the scoring with an end zone sack of Gelbaugh.
Game 11: ‘13 Seahawks def. ‘92 Seahawks 24-7
Marshawn Lynch sliced and diced his way to 143 yards rushing, but Christine Michael scored both TDs for the 2013 Seahawks, who found it quite difficult to put the 1992 team away. Poor Stan was sacked five times, twice each by Chris Clemons and Jeron Johnson.
Game 12 (Jackson starts): ‘13 Seahawks def. ‘92 Seahawks 24-14
Tarvaris Jackson put up a dud, completing barely half of his passes and tossing three INTs along the way. Incredibly, the 2013 Seahawks needed a 4th quarter comeback to avoid embarrassment. A Eugene Robinson pick-six extended the 1992 team’s lead to 14-6, which they would hold until the final 10 minutes, when everything went horribly wrong.
Stan Gelbaugh was picked off by Kam Chancellor in his own territory, setting up a Hauschka field goal. On the next offensive series, Gelbaugh was picked again by Kam, this time the punishment would be a Lynch touchdown and a successful two-point conversion to turn this into a 17-14 advantage for Team 2013. Big runs by John L. Williams and Chris Warren helped put the ‘92 side in field goal range, but John Kasay missed from 50 yards away. A six-play, 58-yard drive capped off by a C-Mike TD put the game out of reach.
That was the chance. That was the chance.
Game 13: ‘13 Seahawks def. ‘92 Seahawks 24-3
Another game where the 2013 Seahawks pull away late, as Golden Tate caught a game-high 5 passes for 64 yards and a pair of touchdowns. John L. Williams had a catch-and-run of 61 yards, and the 1992 Seahawks got to the 1-yard line, only for Williams to be stonewalled on 3rd and goal. John Kasay split the uprights for his team’s sole points on the day.
Game 14: ‘13 Seahawks def. ‘92 Seahawks 29-0
It’s never a good thing when your yards per carry and yards per pass attempt are almost the same. The 2013 Seahawks outgained their 1992 counterparts 380-184 and cruised to another easy win.
Game 15: ‘13 Seahawks def. ‘92 Seahawks 30-0
Gelbaugh’s final start was woeful. 6/19 for 52 yards and an INT thrown to Richard Sherman. The ‘92 Seahawks defense got carved up and didn’t sack Russell Wilson once. Doug Baldwin’s three receptions all went for touchdowns.
Dan McGwire has his one shot to prevent 0-16. While he still has to go up against that vaunted defense, Tarvaris Jackson is starting in place of Wilson for game 16. Can Dan do it?!
Game 16 (Jackson starts, McGwire starts): ‘13 Seahawks def. ‘92 Seahawks 29-3
(Narrator’s voice): Nope, he can’t do it.
Tarvaris Jackson was awful, throwing three interceptions in the 1st half, and four for the game. However, those turnovers led to just 3 points the other way, and Jackson’s final INT was countered by an Earl Thomas pick on McGwire. From there, a 13-3 game became 29-3 in the span of two minutes, with Red Bryant doing the safety dance after Marshawn Lynch’s goal-line score. Lynch and C-Mike combined for 191 yards on 27 carries, plus a touchdown apiece. Chris Clemons and Michael Bennett combined for four of the six sacks of poor Dan.
Final aggregate score:
2013 Seahawks - 423
1992 Seahawks - 78
This includes five shutouts, and only seven total touchdowns for the 1992 Seahawks over sixteen mostly lopsided beatdowns. Chris Warren had four touchdowns, Brian Blades had two, and Eugene Robinson had the INT runback in ‘92’s closest and best game of this series.
1992 Seahawks quarterbacks, Messrs Stouffer, Gelbaugh, and McGwire combined for 1,035 yards passing on 123-of-380 (.323), with two touchdown passes and 17 interceptions.
Oh well, at least they tried.